What happens the moment we learn someone we love has died ?

the death of a loved one is such a life-changing event that we typically have trouble grasping the reality of it...when I have experienced this, it just takes a while for us to process exactly what has happened...

For the one that hurt the most, I honestly don't remember my initial reaction. I talked to so many people that night and rushed to pack to be home. All I know is I truly believed it was an evil joke.

It was a relief to me the last time I experienced this because I knew the pain he was in battling cancer. I've since determined that his pain was temporary but the loved ones left behind is permanent.

quote:

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and what is the difference between those that do and those that don't ?

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Nothing that can be discerned by that act alone.

You don't know what's in their heads.


Personally I'm very good at compartmentalizating pain away until it is convienant for me to deal with it.

One particular blow had me still in the midst, taking the news in stride until tangential related problems could be resolved. Doesn't soften the blow when you allow yourself to settle down and reopen that door though.

I think your reaction depends some on how the person died. If they've been sick a long time, you kind of come to expect it so you prepare yourself and it's not as much of a freak out.

But if someone dies unexpectedly in an accident or from a heart attack, your reaction will likely be more dramatic. Even then, to some people the death is more of a shock so they sit there in disbelief until it finally sinks in.

There are supposedly 5-7 different stages of grief, but not everyone goes through all of them:
- Shock or Disbelief
- Denial
- Anger
- Bargaining
- Guilt
- Depression
- Acceptance and Hope

Sorry you're dealing with this. It sucks, no matter how you handle it.

We grieve over the death of any loved one. I still miss my Dad who died in August of 2003 after living with the results of a massive stroke in late 1997. This strong self-made successful man lived his last years totally dependent. I prayed that he would die. When he died it did not lessen the loss I felt for him even though he was "gone" for many years before his actual death. But I was relieved that he was no longer suffering.

On the other hand, when my nephew was killed in a small plane crash in August 2002 at the age of 23 I was crushed. I learned of it when I called one of my sisters to sing her Happy Birthday from my car after playing golf. I was doing my Bill Murray lounge lizard version and could hear my sister crying. I thought, "Damn, I've gotten good at this!" When I finished she said, "I guess you haven't heard. JP was killed in a small plane crash this morning." I nearly drove off the road I was crying so hard.

I cannot imagine what my brother, his wife, and 3 other kids went (and are still going) through. The death of a young person is simply heart-breaking. I know that my brother's family will never be the same.

When I speak of death, I usually in a cavalier fashion throw out the line "Nobody gets out alive." But the death of a young person is gut wrenching and hard to ever get over.

If my Faith is indeed true, the dead would not come back for anything. While we mourn the dead, we are truly sad for our own loss.

I cried immediately when I was told my grandfather died even though I knew it was coming for months. Was very sad but only cried softly and for a short time

When I got the call at 3am that my best friend died unexpectedly at age 21 I didn't say a word, sat in silence for probably 2 hours, and when I finally called and woke up my mom and told her and actually said out loud the words is when I started sobbing. That lasted the entire next day and then off and on the next week until after the funeral.

Instantly wish we could have one more day

My mother passed from cancer in 2000. I was twenty years old. She found out she had it in September of 2000 and died the day after Christmas 2000. Her chemo gave her complications and she had a massive heart attack and died while running her bath water. I remember getting the call and rushing to the ER on Essen. It was surreal when I got there and found out she had passed. Her and I were close. I got really angry. I isolated. I took comfort in my grandmother. She passed 13 months later unexpectedly. It was a dark time. I turned to drugs and alchohol. I came out of it in 2006. I'm a better person these days. This really just scratches the surface. I could go deeper but it'd be tl;dr.

When my son died I was comforting other people who were crying. It wasn't to later when everybody left the hospital that I broke down,