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Started By
Message
Kids being all in your money and life decision business
Posted on 4/18/15 at 11:01 am
Posted on 4/18/15 at 11:01 am
My oldest is almost 8, and she's really starting to want to be in our business, asking all kinds of questions, etc.
We are getting bids to build a house, and she wants to know how much it costs, listens in on our conversations, and generally is just curious about everything. That sort of thing.
So how do y'all handle that?
Is it time to let her in on some information so she learns the value of money?
I don't remember knowing anything about my parents business until I was way older.
We are getting bids to build a house, and she wants to know how much it costs, listens in on our conversations, and generally is just curious about everything. That sort of thing.
So how do y'all handle that?
Is it time to let her in on some information so she learns the value of money?
I don't remember knowing anything about my parents business until I was way older.
Posted on 4/18/15 at 11:03 am to uway
Kids need to stay in their place. Focus more on school and chores.
Posted on 4/18/15 at 11:03 am to uway
Sure exclude the kid from everything
Posted on 4/18/15 at 11:03 am to uway
I'd let her know, my parents didn't let the kids know much about finances etc. I wish they had, would have been good information.
Posted on 4/18/15 at 11:04 am to uway
I would include her equally in the decision making process.
Posted on 4/18/15 at 11:05 am to uway
If they know what's going on, they will have an example of what to do or what not to do.
Posted on 4/18/15 at 11:05 am to uway
What's it hurt to let her know how much it costs to build a house?
Posted on 4/18/15 at 11:07 am to uway
From what I have seen with my friends as we have grown up and become adults, those who were explained exactly how much it costs to have the lifestyle that they lived had a much more realistic grip on financial responsibility as we grew up.
With that said, 8 is younger than anyone I knew, so you might want to keep things more high level. It's probably impossible for her to imagine 10,000 dollars, much less the hundreds of thousands that a house costs. If you do explain it to her, make sure you let her know that you don't just have that money, you had to borrow it. Maybe you could take her into a bank to open up a savings account and have one of the personal bankers explain to her how banks work.
With that said, 8 is younger than anyone I knew, so you might want to keep things more high level. It's probably impossible for her to imagine 10,000 dollars, much less the hundreds of thousands that a house costs. If you do explain it to her, make sure you let her know that you don't just have that money, you had to borrow it. Maybe you could take her into a bank to open up a savings account and have one of the personal bankers explain to her how banks work.
Posted on 4/18/15 at 11:08 am to sbr2
We have one and she has been in on virtually all discussions since she was born. She is very in tune with what things cost and how to pay for it as well as how to save and to say no I don't need that or can't afford it. My parents treated myself and all my siblings the same and all are fiscally able and responsible. It's a good practice in my opinion. Plus when I start hiding my own Easter eggs someone needs to know how to take care of my finances.
Posted on 4/18/15 at 11:08 am to uway
My parents were of the mindset that we shouldn't know how much money they made, etc.
I'd be much more financially responsible if they'd taught me about money at an early age.
I'd be much more financially responsible if they'd taught me about money at an early age.
Posted on 4/18/15 at 11:08 am to ipodking
quote:
What's it hurt to let her know how much it costs to build a house?
I'm not sure it hurts anything, it just feels weird to have a 7 year old thinking and "worrying" about how much stuff costs.
Maybe I'm just trying to protect her from such worries until she needs to share them.
Posted on 4/18/15 at 11:08 am to uway
quote:
Dear. Ann Landers.
My oldest is almost 8, and she's really starting to want to be in our business, asking all kinds of questions, etc.
We are getting bids to build a house, and she wants to know how much it costs, listens in on our conversations, and generally is just curious about everything. That sort of thing.
So how do y'all handle that?
Is it time to let her in on some information so she learns the value of money?
I don't remember knowing anything about my parents business until I was way older.
Posted on 4/18/15 at 11:10 am to uway
Let them know some stuff to a degree. For example, you can tell them how much that vacation they want to take will cost, and discuss how much we need to save in order to get there. Same thing with a toy or game she wants--anytime she asks for something small, point out how she could save her money for a more expensive item which might give her more enjoyment in the long run.
For how much your house is going to cost, I'd just answer generally "a lot, much more than that vacation or your video game". Keep in mind that anything you tell them at that age, they will probably share with their friends: "Our house cost $300,000!"
For how much your house is going to cost, I'd just answer generally "a lot, much more than that vacation or your video game". Keep in mind that anything you tell them at that age, they will probably share with their friends: "Our house cost $300,000!"
Posted on 4/18/15 at 11:11 am to uway
Calculate the cost psf of her room is X. As you explain, her choice is to make all A's or work that cost off doing yard work.
Posted on 4/18/15 at 11:15 am to Dorothy
quote:
. . Keep in mind that anything you tell them at that age, they will probably share with their friends: "Our house cost $300,000!"
While this is generally true mine has grown up with the first line being "what is discussed in this house stays in this house." and she knows the wrath of mommy will come down on her so I trust she keeps her mouth shut. She's well aware of who's buttering her bread. And paying her tuition.
ETA: I know to keep my mouth shut too lest the wrath of mommy divert her attention to me.
This post was edited on 4/18/15 at 11:17 am
Posted on 4/18/15 at 11:15 am to uway
Posted on 4/18/15 at 11:17 am to uway
Kids need to know what shite cost and how hard you work for it. Or how hard others have to work for it. I have gradually worked money discussions into our conversations. They need to start off early with realistic ideas and expectations of what shite cost and how to go about getting it. And retirement, and insurance, and taxes and all the other shite that will kick them in the nuts one day. I also explain to mine that just because I have money it doesn't mean that THEY are rich. They will need to be able to fend for themselves and earn a decent living. I discuss with them what jobs can earn the living they desire and what training it will take. We discuss budgeting and other basic financial decisions. As they've gotten older, we have had more in depth discussions.
The only thing I don't discuss with them is how much I have put back for them. I do explain that we save as much or more than we spend and that has given me the freedom and means to invest in other things. I make sure they understand the whole "It takes money to make money". They only reason they don't know about their trusts is that I don't want them to have that as a crutch. I have seen too many do that and wallow in worthlessness waiting on that trust. Even when they know they have to wait, it's like they put their lives on hold and have zero ambition because of it. I tell both of mine, the harder they work the more I will do for them. Effort is as important as profit. I try to educate them on money mistakes as well. I don't just tell them about the wins and leave out the losses. Seems to be working well so far. They are 14 and 16, so we still have as ways to go. It is hard when you have money to not give them all they want and not seem like a stingy parent. So, I will give base amounts for certain things..cars, clothes, etc. Anything over that amount is up to them to earn and buy. I try to base it on par with what they peers parents can afford. Yes, it tends to be on the higher end, but generally when they see they have to use "their" money, they are far less likely to use it for those upgrades. When they do, I like to go back months later and ask them if the extra enjoyment for the step up in price was worth the work and money it took to get it. The answer is generally no. I also tell them that if I thought it was, I would've gotten it for them anyway. That's a money lesson. I try to teach them those smaller lessons so they don't learn them on a bigger scale later like I have. Growing up poor, there were a ton of things I thought would be great. Now that I've gotten them or done them, I realized most is just marketing and bullshite and I was a rube for falling for it. I'll let y'all know in 20-30 years how well this all works out.
The only thing I don't discuss with them is how much I have put back for them. I do explain that we save as much or more than we spend and that has given me the freedom and means to invest in other things. I make sure they understand the whole "It takes money to make money". They only reason they don't know about their trusts is that I don't want them to have that as a crutch. I have seen too many do that and wallow in worthlessness waiting on that trust. Even when they know they have to wait, it's like they put their lives on hold and have zero ambition because of it. I tell both of mine, the harder they work the more I will do for them. Effort is as important as profit. I try to educate them on money mistakes as well. I don't just tell them about the wins and leave out the losses. Seems to be working well so far. They are 14 and 16, so we still have as ways to go. It is hard when you have money to not give them all they want and not seem like a stingy parent. So, I will give base amounts for certain things..cars, clothes, etc. Anything over that amount is up to them to earn and buy. I try to base it on par with what they peers parents can afford. Yes, it tends to be on the higher end, but generally when they see they have to use "their" money, they are far less likely to use it for those upgrades. When they do, I like to go back months later and ask them if the extra enjoyment for the step up in price was worth the work and money it took to get it. The answer is generally no. I also tell them that if I thought it was, I would've gotten it for them anyway. That's a money lesson. I try to teach them those smaller lessons so they don't learn them on a bigger scale later like I have. Growing up poor, there were a ton of things I thought would be great. Now that I've gotten them or done them, I realized most is just marketing and bullshite and I was a rube for falling for it. I'll let y'all know in 20-30 years how well this all works out.
Posted on 4/18/15 at 11:17 am to uway
One, I wouldn't come here asking for parenting advice.
Two,
She sounds like she's going to be an awful ex-wife to some poor bastard one day.
Two,
quote:
she's really starting to want to be in our business, asking all kinds of questions, etc.
She sounds like she's going to be an awful ex-wife to some poor bastard one day.
Posted on 4/18/15 at 11:22 am to LucasP
quote:
She sounds like she's going to be an awful ex-wife to some poor bastard one day.
Maybe not. I say give in to her inquisitive nature, but make sure to really inform her about your decisions. Even if they are bad. I mean, if you are overspending and stretching the budget, let her know. If you are underspending because what you really want and need is less than you can afford, let her know. Teach her the logic and lessons of the decisions you make. Good or bad, just be honest and explain each one. But...that's just my opinion. My kids aren't adults yet so I may be fricking up their lives and mine for all I know. That's why the advice on here is free.
Posted on 4/18/15 at 11:27 am to Dorothy
quote:
Keep in mind that anything you tell them at that age, they will probably share with their friends: "Our house cost $300,000
This was my first thought. I think she is too young to know the exact number. Just tell her a lot and that you had to borrow it from a bank. Explain in general terms why saving and managing money is important. Just be general and vague at that age.
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