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Possible life changing decision on the horizon

Posted on 3/5/15 at 10:01 am
Posted by Austin Cajun
Austin, Tejas
Member since Aug 2013
1884 posts
Posted on 3/5/15 at 10:01 am
So I got a phone call yesterday about a job I applied for a while back. This job I applied for thinking I wouldn't even get noticed, but you never know. We I did get noticed and they wanted to do a phone interview.
This position is the job I've set as my goal since the day I graduated high school, it's what I went to college 3 times for and continued working to gain 15 years experience for. It's a career move to a position and company I could possibly retire from.

The company is HUGE in the healthcare industry. Pay, benefits, perks, and everything else that goes along with it is life changing for me. The salary alone will almost double what I'm making now with tons of room for growth.

They called me yesterday asking me to get back with them about it. I called back when I was free and spoke with the hiring manager for about 45 minutes and it went great. He told me he's looking to hire between 8 and 10 people and has narrowed down 30 resumes, so that's pretty good odds already.
At the end of the call, he told me he was impressed and wanted me to come in for a face to face interview. He pointed out that I easily made it through the first round. Great!!!

Now the bad. The job is in Houston, I live in Austin and I'm well rooted here. My fiance has no issues with moving to Houston. Her job requires that she live in the major metro in Texas, so she's pretty free in that sense. However, I have joint custody of my kid and this would require me to move 3 hours away from him.
As it is now, I have him between 60-70% of the time. This wouldn't be possible if this plays out and I move. I would be limited to every other weekend, holidays, and some extended time during summer, maybe even the entire summer. He's 7 and we are very close. My dad wasn't there for me as a child and I don't want to do the same to him. I know I shouldn't be, but I'm already stressing about this and it's not even a sure thing at this point.

If I am offered the position, I'll have regrets either way. If I pass on the offer, it's likely I'll never be presented with an opportunity like this again. If I accept, I lose significant time with my kid and force a change in his life. Ideally, I'd like to have full custody and take him with me but that will never happen. It's not like his mom is a bad parent, so it's pointless to try and fight for custody.


Any of you ever faced a decision like this? How did you handle it?
Posted by TigerHam85
59-024 Kamehameha Highway
Member since Nov 2009
31493 posts
Posted on 3/5/15 at 10:03 am to
Bail on the kid!

YOLO
Posted by LNCHBOX
70448
Member since Jun 2009
84306 posts
Posted on 3/5/15 at 10:03 am to
That's a toughy with the kid.
This post was edited on 3/5/15 at 10:04 am
Posted by kywildcatfanone
Wildcat Country!
Member since Oct 2012
119529 posts
Posted on 3/5/15 at 10:03 am to
quote:

If I am offered the position, I'll have regrets either way. If I pass on the offer, it's likely I'll never be presented with an opportunity like this again. If I accept, I lose significant time with my kid and force a change in his life.


Your answer is probably here, but I agree, it's a tough spot to be in. Best of luck.
Posted by Sir Drinksalot
Member since Aug 2005
16752 posts
Posted on 3/5/15 at 10:04 am to
What was your train of thought when you applied for a job 3 hours away?
Posted by terd ferguson
Darren Wilson Fan Club President
Member since Aug 2007
108785 posts
Posted on 3/5/15 at 10:04 am to
You're overlooking the most important thing here... your username is Austin Cajun and we all know how difficult it is to change your name.

Think about the TD ramifications here.
Posted by Teddy Ruxpin
Member since Oct 2006
39609 posts
Posted on 3/5/15 at 10:05 am to
Sounds like with all that extra scratch if you want to see your kid you can spend the money to do so
Posted by PuntBamaPunt
Member since Nov 2010
10070 posts
Posted on 3/5/15 at 10:05 am to
I'll just leave this here.
Posted by Oates Mustache
Member since Oct 2011
22195 posts
Posted on 3/5/15 at 10:06 am to
I have no idea how to even begin offering advice for this. I couldn't imagine losing time with a child, especially one that you're close to. Career opportunities like that are very rare. I hope that you can make the right choice.

This is dickish, but this immediately came to mind.

LINK
Posted by DirtyMikeandtheBoys
Member since May 2011
19429 posts
Posted on 3/5/15 at 10:07 am to
A rich non-present father is better than a poor present father.
Posted by gamecocks22
SC
Member since Dec 2012
4913 posts
Posted on 3/5/15 at 10:07 am to
I tried, but nah.. TL:DR
Posted by LSUSUPERSTAR
TX
Member since Jan 2005
16332 posts
Posted on 3/5/15 at 10:08 am to
Plenty of kids grow up without a father and do fine, see yourself. Take your slam piece and go.


Seriously, I would talk to your ex about him going with you. Is she married, have other kids? That will play a big part into it.
Posted by bubbz
Baton Rouge
Member since Mar 2006
22835 posts
Posted on 3/5/15 at 10:08 am to
Do not do it, it will change the kids life forever. I understand it's a big job, but the same thing happened with my father and it was pretty difficult for me to understand.

Don't do it man...kids mean more than money. The kid will grow to resent you, and your relationshio with him will be strained.
Posted by WG_Dawg
Hoover
Member since Jun 2004
86562 posts
Posted on 3/5/15 at 10:08 am to
I don't have kids so it's easy for me to say, but I'd take the job. You've been working at this job since you were 18, have gone to school for it, trained for it, and wanted it for basically all of your adult life. It would be an unbelievable situation for both you and your fiance.


As far as your kid, driving 3 hours twice3 a month to see him really isn't that bad. If you and his mother are on good terms, maybe yall could even meet halfway or something. Plus, having this opportunity will give you the chance to provide for him better than you can currently.
Posted by johndaly
golf course
Member since Feb 2015
135 posts
Posted on 3/5/15 at 10:11 am to
IMO you will regret not taking a chance if it is truly your dream job
Posted by Bmath
LA
Member since Aug 2010
18682 posts
Posted on 3/5/15 at 10:11 am to
That's a tough spot to be in. 3 hrs isn't terrible, and is much more manageable than moving across the country.

Have you thought about sitting down with your kid and ex just to see what their thoughts are?

Could you reasonably commute to work from somewhere in between like Brenham?
Posted by DirtyMikeandtheBoys
Member since May 2011
19429 posts
Posted on 3/5/15 at 10:12 am to
I take back everything I already posted.

Someone as indecisive as you doesn't belong in a position of leadership and influence in a large profitable company.
Posted by Rohan2Reed
Member since Nov 2003
75674 posts
Posted on 3/5/15 at 10:12 am to
I'd take the job and deal with the longer time + distance I'd have to spend in the car to see my kid.
Posted by oleyeller
Vols, Bitch
Member since Oct 2012
32025 posts
Posted on 3/5/15 at 10:14 am to
money isnt everything
money cant buy happiness
time > money

Posted by 79
Welp...
Member since Aug 2013
1031 posts
Posted on 3/5/15 at 10:14 am to
How about you actually have a sit down talk with the kids mom and explain to her the situation? She may see the benefits to the kid and agree to meet you half way when exchanging the child.

I would even go as far to have the 3 of you talk (you, fiancé & baby mama). Between the 3 of you, you can figure out what is best for the little one. And that's what is important here. Good luck, man.
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