- My Forums
- Tiger Rant
- LSU Recruiting
- SEC Rant
- Saints Talk
- Pelicans Talk
- More Sports Board
- Fantasy Sports
- Golf Board
- Soccer Board
- O-T Lounge
- Tech Board
- Home/Garden Board
- Outdoor Board
- Health/Fitness Board
- Movie/TV Board
- Book Board
- Music Board
- Political Talk
- Money Talk
- Fark Board
- Gaming Board
- Travel Board
- Food/Drink Board
- Ticket Exchange
- TD Help Board
Customize My Forums- View All Forums
- Show Left Links
- Topic Sort Options
- Trending Topics
- Recent Topics
- Active Topics
Started By
Message
Possible life changing decision on the horizon
Posted on 3/5/15 at 10:01 am
Posted on 3/5/15 at 10:01 am
So I got a phone call yesterday about a job I applied for a while back. This job I applied for thinking I wouldn't even get noticed, but you never know. We I did get noticed and they wanted to do a phone interview.
This position is the job I've set as my goal since the day I graduated high school, it's what I went to college 3 times for and continued working to gain 15 years experience for. It's a career move to a position and company I could possibly retire from.
The company is HUGE in the healthcare industry. Pay, benefits, perks, and everything else that goes along with it is life changing for me. The salary alone will almost double what I'm making now with tons of room for growth.
They called me yesterday asking me to get back with them about it. I called back when I was free and spoke with the hiring manager for about 45 minutes and it went great. He told me he's looking to hire between 8 and 10 people and has narrowed down 30 resumes, so that's pretty good odds already.
At the end of the call, he told me he was impressed and wanted me to come in for a face to face interview. He pointed out that I easily made it through the first round. Great!!!
Now the bad. The job is in Houston, I live in Austin and I'm well rooted here. My fiance has no issues with moving to Houston. Her job requires that she live in the major metro in Texas, so she's pretty free in that sense. However, I have joint custody of my kid and this would require me to move 3 hours away from him.
As it is now, I have him between 60-70% of the time. This wouldn't be possible if this plays out and I move. I would be limited to every other weekend, holidays, and some extended time during summer, maybe even the entire summer. He's 7 and we are very close. My dad wasn't there for me as a child and I don't want to do the same to him. I know I shouldn't be, but I'm already stressing about this and it's not even a sure thing at this point.
If I am offered the position, I'll have regrets either way. If I pass on the offer, it's likely I'll never be presented with an opportunity like this again. If I accept, I lose significant time with my kid and force a change in his life. Ideally, I'd like to have full custody and take him with me but that will never happen. It's not like his mom is a bad parent, so it's pointless to try and fight for custody.
Any of you ever faced a decision like this? How did you handle it?
This position is the job I've set as my goal since the day I graduated high school, it's what I went to college 3 times for and continued working to gain 15 years experience for. It's a career move to a position and company I could possibly retire from.
The company is HUGE in the healthcare industry. Pay, benefits, perks, and everything else that goes along with it is life changing for me. The salary alone will almost double what I'm making now with tons of room for growth.
They called me yesterday asking me to get back with them about it. I called back when I was free and spoke with the hiring manager for about 45 minutes and it went great. He told me he's looking to hire between 8 and 10 people and has narrowed down 30 resumes, so that's pretty good odds already.
At the end of the call, he told me he was impressed and wanted me to come in for a face to face interview. He pointed out that I easily made it through the first round. Great!!!
Now the bad. The job is in Houston, I live in Austin and I'm well rooted here. My fiance has no issues with moving to Houston. Her job requires that she live in the major metro in Texas, so she's pretty free in that sense. However, I have joint custody of my kid and this would require me to move 3 hours away from him.
As it is now, I have him between 60-70% of the time. This wouldn't be possible if this plays out and I move. I would be limited to every other weekend, holidays, and some extended time during summer, maybe even the entire summer. He's 7 and we are very close. My dad wasn't there for me as a child and I don't want to do the same to him. I know I shouldn't be, but I'm already stressing about this and it's not even a sure thing at this point.
If I am offered the position, I'll have regrets either way. If I pass on the offer, it's likely I'll never be presented with an opportunity like this again. If I accept, I lose significant time with my kid and force a change in his life. Ideally, I'd like to have full custody and take him with me but that will never happen. It's not like his mom is a bad parent, so it's pointless to try and fight for custody.
Any of you ever faced a decision like this? How did you handle it?
Posted on 3/5/15 at 10:03 am to Austin Cajun
That's a toughy with the kid.
This post was edited on 3/5/15 at 10:04 am
Posted on 3/5/15 at 10:03 am to Austin Cajun
quote:
If I am offered the position, I'll have regrets either way. If I pass on the offer, it's likely I'll never be presented with an opportunity like this again. If I accept, I lose significant time with my kid and force a change in his life.
Your answer is probably here, but I agree, it's a tough spot to be in. Best of luck.
Posted on 3/5/15 at 10:04 am to Austin Cajun
What was your train of thought when you applied for a job 3 hours away?
Posted on 3/5/15 at 10:04 am to Austin Cajun
You're overlooking the most important thing here... your username is Austin Cajun and we all know how difficult it is to change your name.
Think about the TD ramifications here.
Think about the TD ramifications here.
Posted on 3/5/15 at 10:05 am to Austin Cajun
Sounds like with all that extra scratch if you want to see your kid you can spend the money to do so
Posted on 3/5/15 at 10:05 am to Austin Cajun
I'll just leave this here.
Posted on 3/5/15 at 10:06 am to Austin Cajun
I have no idea how to even begin offering advice for this. I couldn't imagine losing time with a child, especially one that you're close to. Career opportunities like that are very rare. I hope that you can make the right choice.
This is dickish, but this immediately came to mind.
LINK
This is dickish, but this immediately came to mind.
LINK
Posted on 3/5/15 at 10:07 am to Austin Cajun
A rich non-present father is better than a poor present father.
Posted on 3/5/15 at 10:07 am to Austin Cajun
I tried, but nah.. TL:DR
Posted on 3/5/15 at 10:08 am to Austin Cajun
Plenty of kids grow up without a father and do fine, see yourself. Take your slam piece and go.
Seriously, I would talk to your ex about him going with you. Is she married, have other kids? That will play a big part into it.
Seriously, I would talk to your ex about him going with you. Is she married, have other kids? That will play a big part into it.
Posted on 3/5/15 at 10:08 am to Austin Cajun
Do not do it, it will change the kids life forever. I understand it's a big job, but the same thing happened with my father and it was pretty difficult for me to understand.
Don't do it man...kids mean more than money. The kid will grow to resent you, and your relationshio with him will be strained.
Don't do it man...kids mean more than money. The kid will grow to resent you, and your relationshio with him will be strained.
Posted on 3/5/15 at 10:08 am to Austin Cajun
I don't have kids so it's easy for me to say, but I'd take the job. You've been working at this job since you were 18, have gone to school for it, trained for it, and wanted it for basically all of your adult life. It would be an unbelievable situation for both you and your fiance.
As far as your kid, driving 3 hours twice3 a month to see him really isn't that bad. If you and his mother are on good terms, maybe yall could even meet halfway or something. Plus, having this opportunity will give you the chance to provide for him better than you can currently.
As far as your kid, driving 3 hours twice3 a month to see him really isn't that bad. If you and his mother are on good terms, maybe yall could even meet halfway or something. Plus, having this opportunity will give you the chance to provide for him better than you can currently.
Posted on 3/5/15 at 10:11 am to Austin Cajun
IMO you will regret not taking a chance if it is truly your dream job
Posted on 3/5/15 at 10:11 am to Austin Cajun
That's a tough spot to be in. 3 hrs isn't terrible, and is much more manageable than moving across the country.
Have you thought about sitting down with your kid and ex just to see what their thoughts are?
Could you reasonably commute to work from somewhere in between like Brenham?
Have you thought about sitting down with your kid and ex just to see what their thoughts are?
Could you reasonably commute to work from somewhere in between like Brenham?
Posted on 3/5/15 at 10:12 am to Austin Cajun
I take back everything I already posted.
Someone as indecisive as you doesn't belong in a position of leadership and influence in a large profitable company.
Someone as indecisive as you doesn't belong in a position of leadership and influence in a large profitable company.
Posted on 3/5/15 at 10:12 am to Austin Cajun
I'd take the job and deal with the longer time + distance I'd have to spend in the car to see my kid.
Posted on 3/5/15 at 10:14 am to Austin Cajun
money isnt everything
money cant buy happiness
time > money
money cant buy happiness
time > money
Posted on 3/5/15 at 10:14 am to Austin Cajun
How about you actually have a sit down talk with the kids mom and explain to her the situation? She may see the benefits to the kid and agree to meet you half way when exchanging the child.
I would even go as far to have the 3 of you talk (you, fiancé & baby mama). Between the 3 of you, you can figure out what is best for the little one. And that's what is important here. Good luck, man.
I would even go as far to have the 3 of you talk (you, fiancé & baby mama). Between the 3 of you, you can figure out what is best for the little one. And that's what is important here. Good luck, man.
Popular
Back to top
Follow TigerDroppings for LSU Football News