My Wife Has Been Diagnosed with Lupus

Wow. I'm terribly sorry. No experience so I don't have advice, but certainly sending prayers.

A girl I know beat its arse, and so can your wife. Good vibes to you both and Prayers sent!

One of my closest friends has this. She is a few years younger than me and frequently has bad arthritis pain in her hands. Otherwise than that, she lives a normal life. Couple years ago she got a medical marijuana card(her boss was the one to suggest it). She smokes maybe once a week(or takes edibles) and she says that has helped her lupus more than anything else. That she was able to get off a few meds because she wasn't having as much pain/swelling in her hands.

A friend's wife has had it for years and I never knew until recently. My mother's friend was 'diagnosed" with Lupus from a Baton Rouge doctor and then found out years later that she never had it. God Bless

No family members, but I've had friends and I deal with it a lot, professionally (don't ask). I don't intend for this to be preachy, so sorry if it gets there for you.

The disease progresses differently, sometimes vastly, for most patients. There are exciting new drugs and treatment modalities coming out to treat various parts of it. Patients generally have to cycle onto Prednisone periodically, and that's a devil's bargain if there ever was one.

The basics remain the same, though. Remain as active as possible (although she will likely have to watch her sun exposure, particularly with various medications), eat right, get plenty of fluids, exercise, while avoiding things that cause inflammation. It is an autoimmune response, by and large (similar to RA), so you want an immune system that is neither robust nor weak - which will cause problems as she ages.

Her health maintenance just became a full-time job. She will have good days, and bad days (flares). Flares may last days or weeks. You will have to do more to help when she's doing poorly and you should not be resentful about it - it is what it is. You took some sort of oath, richer or poorer, in sickness and in health, and all that - now is the time that stops being BS and starts to mean something.

Good news - there has never been a better time in history to have lupus and it is not a death sentence. It constitutes a lifelong, chronic disease that will affect the quality of both of your lives. The better you handle it the better off you'll be.

Good luck and G-d bless you both.

Should you start using condoms now?

George Costanza lived in fear of lupus. Every time I hear the word I think of him.

My understanding from a friend who had it is like many other autoimmune diseases it's hard to predict where it will go and that many people live near-normal lives with it. Not to mention that modern medicine is damn-near miraculous.

Regardless, be there for the wifey, through thick and thin. My sincere Prayers and wishes of good health for Mrs. Hoyt.

I have a couple of close relatives with autoimune diseases...what Ace says is pretty much spot on...

the whole shite is really strange as hell in that one minute, they are just fine and then a few hours later, they feel like total shite and then back to normal a few hours after that...

the unpredictable nature of it all seems to really wear on folks and if you see her getting depressed, urge her to get help...lots of the medicines used to treat the associated pain are actually antidepressants, so they help out in multiple ways...

bottom line is, the whole thing is fairly well manageable as long as the two of you work together for support...

ETA: hope you have good insurance, as your wife will be regularly visiting a hell of a lot of different doctors...

Sorry to hear the news Hoyt. Prayers to you and your wife.