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Posted on 4/8/14 at 4:41 pm to KosmoCramer
quote:
Most wakes held in Ohio that I've ever been to take place in a funeral parlor.
That is where the visitation for the one I'm going to is.
Also...because this is for 3 children this is gonna be a very emotionally charged environment. Also, the parents are divorced and things have gotten really ugly at times between the two of them in the years since the divorce.
If it was the only one I could attend I would, but honestly I feel like I would be intruding in a way there if I went to the visitation. I've never met her children and I know there will be lots of family and people that actually know and were close to the kids.
Also if I went to the visitation...I would be doing so and then going into work all night right after. I don't know if emotionally I could do that.
Posted on 4/8/14 at 4:44 pm to lsunurse
Go to the funeral, share you condolences breifly after the service, and leave. They will know you were there, and appreciate it and expect nothing more.
And you don't have to feel bad at all, wakes are a bit weird for outsiders IMO.
And you don't have to feel bad at all, wakes are a bit weird for outsiders IMO.
Posted on 4/8/14 at 5:05 pm to KosmoCramer
Admins 
TigerFred
TigerFred
Posted on 4/8/14 at 5:12 pm to PhiTiger1764
quote:This is exactly how things work in my experience.
In south LA, hundreds of people generally attend the visitation/wake. The funeral is a much more intimate and private event attended by only close friends and family.
Posted on 4/8/14 at 5:21 pm to saderade
It was the total opposite for my grandmother's funeral....in south LA.
A lot more people at the funeral than the visitation/wake.
She was Catholic as well.
A lot more people at the funeral than the visitation/wake.
She was Catholic as well.
Posted on 4/8/14 at 5:39 pm to CAT
Both. Be a stand up guy. Employee will never forget it.
Posted on 4/8/14 at 5:39 pm to lsunurse
How did 3 kids get killed, car wreck?
Posted on 4/8/14 at 5:41 pm to CAT
Just buried my great uncle yesterday. Visitation was attended by a bunch of people that knew him but not close to him.
Posted on 4/8/14 at 5:43 pm to windshieldman
quote:
How did 3 kids get killed, car wreck?
Yes. Very, very sad situation. They were with her ex's parents and his pregnant sister coming home from a day trip to Tucson. My coworker was working that weekend(her ex's weekend to have the kids...yet he pawned them off on his parents). She was told the news at work.
Everyone died except the grandfather.
Posted on 4/8/14 at 5:45 pm to shawnlsu
quote:
You had to decide whether to go to the visitation pr the funeral?
No, I've been there and have had to go through burying my father. That's what I've been through. The visitation is what he should attend in my opinion. The funeral is more for those closest to the deceased. But if he wants to go go both, then go to both but if he has to choose one, my suggestion is the visitation.
ETA:
quote:
She's worked for me for 16 years so it's not some random person in a big company.
Now seeing this, I'd say go to what feels right to you. If she's worked for you for 16 years, both may be best but regardless, it's who shows up to pay their respects. That's what will be remembered.
This post was edited on 4/8/14 at 5:48 pm
Posted on 4/8/14 at 5:48 pm to CAT
OP
Just want to say I think it is a very nice gesture for you to go(esp since it is several hours away). So I say go to the one you feel most comfortable going to. I think your employee will just be touched that you made the effort to attend and will appreciate the gesture.
Just want to say I think it is a very nice gesture for you to go(esp since it is several hours away). So I say go to the one you feel most comfortable going to. I think your employee will just be touched that you made the effort to attend and will appreciate the gesture.
Posted on 4/8/14 at 5:50 pm to lsunurse
quote:
Everyone died except the grandfather.
He is a broken man. That's really sad. His wife, daughter, unborn grandchild, and 3 grandkids.
Unreal.. Prayers sent.
Posted on 4/8/14 at 5:53 pm to KosmoCramer
He's still in the hospital last I heard. Not sure how critical he is.
I found out his wife was alive when a nurse that drove by stopped at the scene immediately after it happened. That the nurse was helping to support her airway to keep her alive. And that when she found out that the children were all gone...she basically let go and died shortly after that.
I found out his wife was alive when a nurse that drove by stopped at the scene immediately after it happened. That the nurse was helping to support her airway to keep her alive. And that when she found out that the children were all gone...she basically let go and died shortly after that.
Posted on 4/8/14 at 6:01 pm to PhiTiger1764
quote:
In south LA, hundreds of people generally attend the visitation/wake. The funeral is a much more intimate and private event attended by only close friends and family.
Agree. I couldn't imagine showing up at someone I didn't know's funeral.
Posted on 4/8/14 at 6:12 pm to PhiTiger1764
Send flowers. Be a compassionate boss and cut her some slack if she needs some extra time off
Posted on 4/8/14 at 6:39 pm to ColoradoAg03
quote:
Send flowers. Be a compassionate boss and cut her some slack if she needs some extra time off
Flowers sent and told her to take the week off. Wife wants to go so tomorrow to visitation it is. 3 hr drive for 15 min isn't optimal but is what it is and she would do that and more for me.
Appreciate the responses
Posted on 4/8/14 at 6:41 pm to CAT
You are a good boss
Posted on 4/8/14 at 7:03 pm to CAT
I would think the visitation would be the obvious answer. For me, the visitation is for family support, and funeral is for the deceased.
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