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re: What is proper Funeral Etiquette?
Posted on 4/8/14 at 4:23 pm to KosmoCramer
Posted on 4/8/14 at 4:23 pm to KosmoCramer
quote:
I think the funeral is a much better choice if you don't know the deceased or the family very well. Sit in the back, give your condolences at the end to those that you know, and leave. I would much rather go to a funeral than to fake it at a wake.
This is my thinking with it. At a wake you are more interactive with everyone. I always just thought of it as a way for family and those close to the deceased to say their own goodbye before the funeral the next day. For many they want to see the person in the coffin (if open casket) and have that closure.
Doesn't mean the other way is wrong either. Luckily I've not gone to many funerals so I'm just basing it off what I've experienced.
Posted on 4/8/14 at 4:23 pm to lsunurse
quote:
Funeral. Visitation just seems more for those closer to the deceased imo.
I'd say the opposite. When I don't know the deceased, but am close to a relative I'll go to the wake to pay my respects and let the relative know I'm there and I care. I don't feel its my place to be there when they put them in the ground, I feel like that's a more private moment for family and close friends.
Posted on 4/8/14 at 4:24 pm to shawnlsu
funeral is the obvious answer, i would think ... visitation is for people who knew him personally and want to get one last look ... the funeral is as much for the living as for the deceased ...
Posted on 4/8/14 at 4:24 pm to CAT
Taking a selfie with the deceased in the background seems to be the "in" thing.
Please do so and post to TD before uploading to your Instagram account. Tag #funeralselfie or #funinfuneral.
Please do so and post to TD before uploading to your Instagram account. Tag #funeralselfie or #funinfuneral.
Posted on 4/8/14 at 4:24 pm to CAT
Had this happen to one of my employees recently. I went to the visitation.
Posted on 4/8/14 at 4:24 pm to PhiTiger1764
quote:
You just go to the wake. You don't need to go to the funeral. You aren't close friends or family.
If he didn't know the employee well but wanted to make a kind gesture, I think the funeral is the better course of action. That's what I prefer, I think making small talk at a wake is very poor form.
Posted on 4/8/14 at 4:26 pm to CAT
I would go to the funeral, no need to go to the visitation.
Posted on 4/8/14 at 4:27 pm to lsunurse
quote:
This is my thinking with it. At a wake you are more interactive with everyone. I always just thought of it as a way for family and those close to the deceased to say their own goodbye before the funeral the next day. For many they want to see the person in the coffin (if open casket) and have that closure.
Doesn't mean the other way is wrong either. Luckily I've not gone to many funerals so I'm just basing it off what I've experienced.
The wake seems like an extremely personal setting to me. I come from a very large Catholic family and have been to too many wakes to count, I don't like them at all.
My family has gotten into the habit of having calling hours at the church before the funeral and not having a casket so that people don't feel compelled to come to a wake the night before.
I much prefer that schedule.
Posted on 4/8/14 at 4:28 pm to KosmoCramer
quote:
If he didn't know the employee well but wanted to make a kind gesture, I think the funeral is the better course of action. That's what I prefer, I think making small talk at a wake is very poor form.
I'm actually surprised this thread is split about 50/50 on what's more appropriate.. Is this a regional thing?
In south LA, hundreds of people generally attend the visitation/wake. The funeral is a much more intimate and private event attended by only close friends and family.
Posted on 4/8/14 at 4:29 pm to KosmoCramer
quote:
Is this thread anchored?
Not sure why. It is a legitimate question. Unless the thread title is too short.
Posted on 4/8/14 at 4:29 pm to PhiTiger1764
quote:
In south LA, hundreds of people generally attend the visitation/wake. The funeral is a much more intimate and private event attended by only close friends and family.
Are you talking funeral in a church or the burial service at the grave?
Posted on 4/8/14 at 4:30 pm to lsunurse
quote:
Not sure why. It is a legitimate question. Unless the thread title is too short.
That's the only reason.
Posted on 4/8/14 at 4:31 pm to KosmoCramer
I'm going to the funeral of my coworker's 3 children Thursday. The funeral and site of the burial are like 45 minutes apart. I work the night before(staying up after work to attend funeral at 10 am) and have to be back that night as well. I'm only attending the funeral and not the burial. Think that is ok?
Posted on 4/8/14 at 4:32 pm to KosmoCramer
quote:
Are you talking funeral in a church or the burial service at the grave?
I was grouping them together.
Posted on 4/8/14 at 4:34 pm to lsunurse
quote:
I'm going to the funeral of my coworker's 3 children Thursday. The funeral and site of the burial are like 45 minutes apart. I work the night before(staying up after work to attend funeral at 10 am) and have to be back that night as well. I'm only attending the funeral and not the burial. Think that is ok?
Absolutely. In Columbus we only have two places a Catholic would likely be buried. Most burials are a 30-45 minute drive to the south of Columbus. Skipping the burial is very common, especially if you don't know the family well.
Posted on 4/8/14 at 4:34 pm to PhiTiger1764
quote:
I'm actually surprised this thread is split about 50/50 on what's more appropriate.. Is this a regional thing?
In south LA, hundreds of people generally attend the visitation/wake. The funeral is a much more intimate and private event attended by only close friends and family.
Must be, I posted almost exactly what you did. The wakes I go to usually have way more people than the funeral and there's usually a spread in the kitchen. It's a very social event.
Posted on 4/8/14 at 4:35 pm to Kadjin
quote:
Must be, I posted almost exactly what you did. The wakes I go to usually have way more people than the funeral and there's usually a spread in the kitchen. It's a very social event.
Most wakes held in Ohio that I've ever been to take place in a funeral parlor.
The reception takes place after the funeral.
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