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re: What's your most desperate hookup story?
Posted on 5/8/24 at 8:48 am to LSU Grad Alabama Fan
Posted on 5/8/24 at 8:48 am to LSU Grad Alabama Fan
I’ll be as rated G as I can… older woman from Tinder came to my house, never met her, she didn’t look like her pictures, not hot at all, but I was drunk, so I didn’t care. We got down to business, and let’s just say we “tried something slightly adventurous” that ended in an “accident” she had of “brown” proportions and I had to wash myself off in the bathroom.
Then she went to the bathroom to clean herself off. We didn’t acknowledge what just happened, she just left and we said bye. Didn’t say a word outside of that.
The worst part was when I went back to the bathroom later and found she hadn’t even flushed the toilet after wiping and discarding.
I will never be that “adventurous” again and I don’t care who it’s with.
Then she went to the bathroom to clean herself off. We didn’t acknowledge what just happened, she just left and we said bye. Didn’t say a word outside of that.
The worst part was when I went back to the bathroom later and found she hadn’t even flushed the toilet after wiping and discarding.
I will never be that “adventurous” again and I don’t care who it’s with.
This post was edited on 5/8/24 at 8:49 am
2
Posted on 5/8/24 at 8:49 am to idlewatcher
quote:
Who knew conjugal visits in prison were actually a thing. Would imagine you'd have to be married to the inmate to have them. Guess not.
It's still a thing in Canada. In the US I believe there are 4 or 5 states that still have it. I think you have to prove you're married or a domestic partner for some of those all those states.
This post was edited on 5/8/24 at 8:51 am
Posted on 5/8/24 at 8:50 am to TN Tygah
C’mon man. Some of us are trying to eat breakfast.
Posted on 5/8/24 at 8:51 am to LSU Grad Alabama Fan
Thats a pretty damn good story OP. I can't beat that.
Posted on 5/8/24 at 8:53 am to patnuh
quote:
How does this work? Do you get a room? How private is it?
It's an apartment building on site at the prison. The prison guards just call you 3 times a day over the course of 3 days.
Posted on 5/8/24 at 8:55 am to LSU Grad Alabama Fan
When I was 17-18 or so this older guy I knew dated this chick who we all drooled over, she was blond big boobs and drove a Camaro.
In our eyes she was the best looking girl in town but 4-5 years older than us.
Fast forward about 20 years (and 3 kids/divorce) I ran into her at a bar, I was shite faced, went home with her, smashed it along with going down on her .
I woke up the next morning with a 250 lb disgusting hog, no car to leave in and period blood all over me and the bed. Sorry arse ho let me do all that and she was on her freaking period.
When I finally got to my car she started calling 40-50 times a day, home /work/cell . I ended up cussing her out and blocking her number.
nasty MF'er
In our eyes she was the best looking girl in town but 4-5 years older than us.
Fast forward about 20 years (and 3 kids/divorce) I ran into her at a bar, I was shite faced, went home with her, smashed it along with going down on her .
I woke up the next morning with a 250 lb disgusting hog, no car to leave in and period blood all over me and the bed. Sorry arse ho let me do all that and she was on her freaking period.
When I finally got to my car she started calling 40-50 times a day, home /work/cell . I ended up cussing her out and blocking her number.
nasty MF'er
Posted on 5/8/24 at 8:55 am to LSU Grad Alabama Fan
Yeah, I don't think anyone is topping that.
Most I've ever done was drive 5 hours to the beach during spring break and woke up the next morning with nowhere to stay and drove 5 hrs back. But I'm sure I'm not the only one that's done that. There aren't gonna be many who had conjugal visits with a Canadian killer.
Most I've ever done was drive 5 hours to the beach during spring break and woke up the next morning with nowhere to stay and drove 5 hrs back. But I'm sure I'm not the only one that's done that. There aren't gonna be many who had conjugal visits with a Canadian killer.
Posted on 5/8/24 at 8:57 am to PGAOLDBawNeVaBroke
I think this thread may cause vomiting. I’m out!
Posted on 5/8/24 at 8:57 am to IAmNERD
The torch is in distant second.
Posted on 5/8/24 at 8:59 am to LSU Grad Alabama Fan
I never really had any desperate stories. Not saying I was this giant Chad or anything but I guess I didn’t have that dog in me that needed to always find it regardless of the effort 
This was also in the 90s/2000s so I wasn’t blessed with smartphones and tinder. I often wonder how easy it must be for dudes now.
This was also in the 90s/2000s so I wasn’t blessed with smartphones and tinder. I often wonder how easy it must be for dudes now.
Posted on 5/8/24 at 9:01 am to TN Tygah
quote:
TN Tygah
Posted on 5/8/24 at 9:04 am to LSU Grad Alabama Fan
Is it weird that I'm jealous of this story? What a good one to have in the arsenal, am I right?!?
Posted on 5/8/24 at 9:05 am to St Augustine
quote:
This was also in the 90s/2000s so I wasn’t blessed with smartphones and tinder. I often wonder how easy it must be for dudes now.
It was easier in the 90s/2000s before social media created simps that gave all these women clout.
Posted on 5/8/24 at 9:07 am to LSU Grad Alabama Fan
Pics?
She was an inmate. They should be public information.
She was an inmate. They should be public information.
Posted on 5/8/24 at 9:11 am to LSU Grad Alabama Fan
No one is topping the OP.
All I have is I left Alabama and drove to Houston on a Saturday night, hit it and drove back to Alabama the next morning. 38 year old me would never consider doing this, but 20 year old me would have done it every night.
All I have is I left Alabama and drove to Houston on a Saturday night, hit it and drove back to Alabama the next morning. 38 year old me would never consider doing this, but 20 year old me would have done it every night.
Posted on 5/8/24 at 9:15 am to LSU Grad Alabama Fan
Hogging story.
My buddy picks up a girl at a bar. She’s rough but ok with huge tits. She has the mongrel friend. Fat with blah tits. Fave below average. We end up back at their house. There is a high school aged kid asleep in the living room. Who’s mom? We never asked. I’m sure he’s. Serial killer now. This seemed like a common occurrence.
My girl was bad. And in a bad way. I’m trying to play with tits and get her to blow me. She keeps easing and scooting her vag toward my junk. It was an awkward frustrating jiu-jitsu match. Neither of us won. She gave me a piss poor hand job while I finger blasted her just to get out of there.
I was probably 23-24. It was a definite “low” and a what are you doing with your life moment.
My buddy picks up a girl at a bar. She’s rough but ok with huge tits. She has the mongrel friend. Fat with blah tits. Fave below average. We end up back at their house. There is a high school aged kid asleep in the living room. Who’s mom? We never asked. I’m sure he’s. Serial killer now. This seemed like a common occurrence.
My girl was bad. And in a bad way. I’m trying to play with tits and get her to blow me. She keeps easing and scooting her vag toward my junk. It was an awkward frustrating jiu-jitsu match. Neither of us won. She gave me a piss poor hand job while I finger blasted her just to get out of there.
I was probably 23-24. It was a definite “low” and a what are you doing with your life moment.
Posted on 5/8/24 at 9:16 am to LSU Grad Alabama Fan
I wonder if she had other prison women lined up after she was done with you just so they could taste a man.
Posted on 5/8/24 at 9:18 am to LSU Grad Alabama Fan
quote:
She called me a frick boy and said she was going to find me whenever she got out. I haven't heard from her since
She's been waiting for you to make this post. Sleep with one eye open tonight.
Posted on 5/8/24 at 9:19 am to LSU Grad Alabama Fan
Pathetic! Good story!
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