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Started By
Message
Definition of aphrodisiac
Posted on 4/16/23 at 7:49 pm
Posted on 4/16/23 at 7:49 pm
I wanted to share this exchange with y’all that occurred on our way to the beach. This was between the wife (no pics) and myself.
Macrell : so we gonna get some oysters while we’re there?
Wife: yeah sounds good
Macrell: you know…..oysters…..are an aphrodisiac…..
Wife: oh yeah! They don’t have a gender.
Macrell: what?!?! No!
Wife: oh thats right it means they impregnate themselves.
Macrell: my goodness…..
Macrell : so we gonna get some oysters while we’re there?
Wife: yeah sounds good
Macrell: you know…..oysters…..are an aphrodisiac…..
Wife: oh yeah! They don’t have a gender.
Macrell: what?!?! No!
Wife: oh thats right it means they impregnate themselves.
Macrell: my goodness…..
22
Posted on 4/16/23 at 7:50 pm to Macrell
Hope she's hot.
Posted on 4/16/23 at 7:51 pm to Macrell
Sounds like your wife and my wife have the same IQ.
Posted on 4/16/23 at 7:52 pm to Macrell
quote:
Wife: oh yeah! They don’t have a gender.
Not exactly true they are protandric. They move from male to female over their life. However, it always takes a current male and a current female to make baby oysters.
This post was edited on 4/16/23 at 7:54 pm
Posted on 4/16/23 at 7:52 pm to Macrell
Pictures aren't loading
Posted on 4/16/23 at 7:54 pm to Macrell
You should just ask her for sex.
Posted on 4/16/23 at 7:54 pm to Macrell
All oysters start life as male, but most will change permanently to female after about a year. Their reproductive organs produce both sperm and eggs, giving them the capability to change gender. It is, therefore, possible for an oyster to fertilize its own eggs.
Posted on 4/16/23 at 7:57 pm to Macrell
This gal is playing dumb. Look out
Posted on 4/16/23 at 7:57 pm to Macrell
Which beach?
Throwing a dart at the board, I'm guessing Destin.
Throwing a dart at the board, I'm guessing Destin.
Posted on 4/16/23 at 7:58 pm to Macrell
She seems like the kind of girl that believes you when you tell her that semen prevents face wrinkles. Go with it.
Posted on 4/16/23 at 7:58 pm to Macrell
My wife sent me a trail cam photo of a bobcat and said that one of her coworkers has a cheetah at their house. She argued with me when I said it wasn't a cheetah. Every woman is at least 20% retarded.
Posted on 4/16/23 at 8:00 pm to Macrell
Posted on 4/16/23 at 8:02 pm to Macrell
Livin' the life!
Posted on 4/16/23 at 8:04 pm to Macrell
I married a really smart girl, but sometimes I wish I married a dumb one.
Posted on 4/16/23 at 8:13 pm to Macrell
Sounds like same conversation I had with this chick years ago. How long y’all been together?
Posted on 4/16/23 at 9:44 pm to Macrell
Posted on 4/16/23 at 9:52 pm to Macrell
quote:
Macrell: my goodness…..
Should have been
“No, dear, it means it will make you want me to make love to you in the doggystyle position and put my thumb in your arse when you’re about to cum”
Posted on 4/16/23 at 9:56 pm to Macrell
As long as the oysters do their job, sh doesn't have to understand why they work. Probably a good thing that she doesn't 
Posted on 4/16/23 at 10:12 pm to Macrell
Sounds to me like she was telling you to ‘go frick yourself”!
Posted on 4/16/23 at 10:15 pm to Macrell
An Ode To Oysters
The outside’s like a dirty rock,
The inside’s like a loogie,
And it’s been said they’ll help you do,
The horizontal boogie,
They slide right down your gullet,
And all the world is right,
But if you get a bad one,
You’ll be in for one long night,
Their ghosts come out of nowhere,
And knot your guts with pain,
You’ll rush into the bathroom,
Where you’ll struggle and you’ll strain,
Both ends flow forth with evil,
You’ll plead with God and curse,
Nearly lifting off the toilet,
As the oysters do their worst,
You’ll try to leave the porcelain throne,
And pray it’s at an end,
A rumble in your guttiwuts,
You rush right back again,
The toilet looks like modern art,
So violent is the spray,
I only hope for your sake,
You’ve got yourself a bidet,
Cold sweat will drench your brow,
You King of feces holding court,
And if you don’t move quick,
You might be filling up your shorts,
As cursed things course through you,
You count each bathroom tile,
You’ll swear those shells from hell off,
And you’ll keep your word awhile,
So the moral of the story,
If you’re at an oyster bar,
Get them fried or baked or chargrilled,
In the months without an R,
So take it from a man,
Who played a fool and pressed his luck,
When the oysters come for revenge,
Then your arse is proper shucked
The outside’s like a dirty rock,
The inside’s like a loogie,
And it’s been said they’ll help you do,
The horizontal boogie,
They slide right down your gullet,
And all the world is right,
But if you get a bad one,
You’ll be in for one long night,
Their ghosts come out of nowhere,
And knot your guts with pain,
You’ll rush into the bathroom,
Where you’ll struggle and you’ll strain,
Both ends flow forth with evil,
You’ll plead with God and curse,
Nearly lifting off the toilet,
As the oysters do their worst,
You’ll try to leave the porcelain throne,
And pray it’s at an end,
A rumble in your guttiwuts,
You rush right back again,
The toilet looks like modern art,
So violent is the spray,
I only hope for your sake,
You’ve got yourself a bidet,
Cold sweat will drench your brow,
You King of feces holding court,
And if you don’t move quick,
You might be filling up your shorts,
As cursed things course through you,
You count each bathroom tile,
You’ll swear those shells from hell off,
And you’ll keep your word awhile,
So the moral of the story,
If you’re at an oyster bar,
Get them fried or baked or chargrilled,
In the months without an R,
So take it from a man,
Who played a fool and pressed his luck,
When the oysters come for revenge,
Then your arse is proper shucked
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