Downloaded Uber on my new phone for my trip to Miami. I realize Miami isn't in the USA. So maybe I should file this under foreign experience. But, these are my rides so far:

1) Nice enough guy. Clean car. Spoke no English. Tried to ask me one question in Spanish. When I ignored him he went back to driving. No problems. I rated him a 4* because he didn't speak English.

2) I got in her old minivan which was dirty. She immediately asked me a long question in Spanish. I said: I don't know. I don't speak Spanish. To which she said: No hablo en Englais....To which I said: Just drive....She then started talking to herself in Spanish and waving her arms in the air. She then turned up her Salsa music to volume 11 and waded into traffic. When we got to my meeting I let myself out of the minivan and started walking. I got about 10 feet and heard her yelling in Spanish. She was out of the van yelling at me. Because apparently her auto door close feature was broken. And she had to get out and go around to close the door. Which was very inconvenient for her. I rated her a one *. Uber sent me a text that they were refunding my money.

3) Hit the button at my hotel this morning. Message says a guy is 2 mins away. Then says the guy is arriving. I see him with his blinker on in front of my hotel. Then, he takes his blinker off and pulls back into traffic and disappears. Then the app says hes 4 mins away. Then 8 mins away. Then hes on the Interstate. Then hes 11 mins away. And then he stops somewhere. I try to Cancel but Ubder says I might get charged for canceling. So I wait it out. He stays stopped somewhere (getting a coffee maybe) for like 5 mins. Then he heads my way. Finally arrives about 20 mins after he initially was right across the street from me.

So, immediately I said: Dude, what the frick was that? And he starts screaming about how it wasn't his fault. That the app sent him to the wrong place. And I said: Hey, you're yelling at me. Don't yell at me. Just drive....of course this sets him off. He tells me (in some sort of Eastern European heavy accent) that basically I must agree to give him a 5* rating or he will cancel the trip. I tell him to get fricked. He tells me to get out of his car, which I do. He then tells me I am a piece of shite and that he is gonna call the cops. He says he can't have another "problem with his star". I tell him to leave. But he refuses. He is banging his hand on the console and screaming. Hotel person comes out and asks what the problem is. He calls the hotel guy a fricking **** and says he's gonna kick someone's arse. He finally calms down and leaves. I am 30 mins late now. I summon another Uber.

4) Within one min another car pulls up. Older Cuban gentleman who speaks good English. Car is clean. He pulls out into traffic without a word. Asks me if I have enough air. I tell him all is good. He doesn't say another word. Get's to my office building and asks me where I want to be dropped off. I tell him the spot and he pulls over. Says: Thank you sir, and have a nice day....I rate him 5* and walk into my meeting.

I have at least two more Uber rides to go before I get out of this virtual shite hole. I am sort of curious to see what happens next.