Why do many liberals attempt to appear so smug, confrontational, and ... odd?

Because they've never been punched in the face...yet

Out of touch with reality, incels that have sit in their parents basement for way too long.

They’re miserable people. Their entire ideology is based on victimhood and how awful and downtrodden the country is.

It’s really that simple.

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They’re miserable people

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100%

Being properly punched in the face is an underappreciated aspect of being a well adjusted adult.

There’s an entire generation of liberals who were raised to think that people who disagree with them politically, ie republicans, are vile racist nazis who hate old people and poors.

Think about political discourse over the last 20 years. It shouldn’t be surprising that these people feel empowered to openly hate people they’ve been conditioned to think are evil. And with that hate comes a sense or personal virtue... a sense of superiority.

People were told that their feelings and opinions matter. So anything that makes them uncomfortable is an attack and that's apparently the end of the world (or at least, they act like it is).

But no one wants to deal with them and teach them that their feelings/opinions are really worthless because, as a society, we've gotten spoiled at ease and simplicity.

So we let people just spout their nonsense and we try to ignore it as best as possible. But some people, typically with the same beliefs, tend to coddle and agree with them which reinforces it and drives their behavior worse so they can try to get their feelings/opinions validated by those that ignored them.

Which makes those who don't support it to try to ignore that much more. That keeps the cycle building until some realignment occurs.

Note that this can occur in many directions.

Your question has been answered in literature hundreds of times. For example, in Orwell's 1985 he has citizens gathered together to vent their fury at the archenemy Goldberg(?). Anyone not showing enough enthusiasm is a candidate for reeducation. Having been brainwashed, they cannot tolerate one who is not similarly convinced. And the less likely is their "truth" the more fanatical they are about prosecuting apostasy.

It's human nature that a cult cannot abide a non-believer or a non-participant. An example is drinkers; they cannot abide a non-drinker in their midst. Try it one day. Hang out with folks who are drinking. Participate in the ribaldry, but don't drink. They WILL NOT leave you alone.

I know lots of good intentioned folks that are liberal but you’re right there’s many that I just kinda think were born or grew to be angry at the world. They’re mad, they wanna make others mad, somehow that makes them feel better in the sense someone heard them. There’s a level of self realization and dignity they do not possess no matter what they claim. And I am not one to be swayed by screaming in my ear or being forced into a position so it’s an automatic turnoff to me too.

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smug, confrontational, odd

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All are tells of someone feels like they have to prove something to people. "Odd" to me means superficially unique, not unique in results or achievement. So what IS the unifier of liberals? Cause those groups they claim to represent don't exactly mesh very well.

Fear of competition? Inferiority complex? Negative attitude?