Well Toddy, I don't owe anyone an explanation, but since you asked, I'll tell you. I was married for 27 years and with my ex for 30. She was only my second serious girlfriend and I was convinced that God put us together. In fact,I still feel that way.
One day I walked to the mailbox and there was a letter from a lawyer to my wife. It was a letter talking about her pending divorce proceedings. I confronted her about it, and she told me she wanted a divorce because she no longer loved me.
I proceeded for months during our separation to try and win her back including many hours of prayer. She just didn't have the willingness to continue the marriage.
Later after the divorce, I found out she had been having an affair.
So at 51 I find myself divorced, having to start life over. I don't know what a person can do when they don't want a divorce, but their partner does? So if you want to condemn me for that Toddy, go ahead.
I am sorry to hear that happened to you because when a man loses the love of his life it can be mentally devastating.
My own experience was not as bad as yours because I was only with the woman I loved for 3 weeks.
She was my first love and after 3 weeks of being together I had to go and visit my father for a few weeks.
When I was leaving she told me she was coming down with a cold so it was a good time to leave.
I called her several times over the next two weeks and she told me she still had a bad cold.
When I was finished visiting my father as soon as I got home I called my girlfriend to let her know I was back.
Her roommate answered the phone and told me that she was sorry to tell me that my girlfriend was in the hospital in a coma and that the doctors didn't expect her to live through the night.
Needless to say, I rushed to the hospital but the doctors wouldn't let me in her room because we weren't married.
For five days and nights I stayed at the hospital in the waiting room. On the first night I asked her doctor what was her chances of surviving. He said if she lives through the night then every day she stays alive her chances of survival will improve but she may never come out of the coma. Finally, on the fourth day a nurse snuck me into where I could look through a small window in the door to her room and I could see her lying in her bed.
I prayed and prayed for 5 days and during the fifth day she came out of her coma.
All of the doctors said it was a miracle.
Because I was the only person there concerned about her for 5 days the doctors let me into her room where I was able to feed her little bits of ice.
Then I went home to take a bath and put on some clean clothes.
When I went back to the hospital there was a guy in the waiting room who hadn't been there for the five days I was there.
I started talking to him and he told me that he was married to my girlfriend and that they had been separated for a year.
My girlfriend never told me that she was married or that she was separated so I was shocked when he told me.
About 3 days after she came out of the coma she was able to talk again so I asked her if it was true that she was married to this guy and separated.
She said that she was going to tell me she was married and separated and that she was going to break up with me and go back to him before I left but she didn't want to ruin my visit with my father so she decided to wait until after I got back to tell me.
I was devastated but I told her that I was going to visit her every day until the day I could she her actually leave the hospital.
It took a couple of weeks for her to get well enough to leave the hospital but finally her mother came and wheeled her out of the hospital and took her back to live with her until she was well enough to live with her husband again.
I didn't see her for months but her mother finally contacted me and gave me the address where she and her husband were living.
I made arrangements to see her one more time because I wanted to say goodbye to her and wish her good luck.
When I got to her apartment and rang the bell her husband answered the door and was a real a-hole. He didn't even want to let me see her again and wouldn't let me in but I pushed him aside and walked up a long flight of stairs to where she was.
I spoke to her for just a few minutes then left.
That was the last time I ever saw her.
I just told myself the old proverb, "It is better to have loved and lost then to have never loved at all."
This post was edited on 3/31 at 6:49 pm