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Started By
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What's Usually the More Devastating Loss? Mom? Or Dad?
Posted on 4/1/15 at 8:07 am
Posted on 4/1/15 at 8:07 am
I see a lot of threads posted about people losing their dad and not as many as moms. Why is this? Is it because usually more advice and life teachings come from the father? And because generally speaking, most people's heroes are their dads. Or is it because TD is about a 5:1 ratio of men to women and men are typically best friends with their dads?
Obviously, I'll miss em both when they're gone. But my dad is the only true best friend that I have. Sure, I have a group of people that I consider my best friends but they're still not quite the friends that my dad will ever be.
Thoughts?
Obviously, I'll miss em both when they're gone. But my dad is the only true best friend that I have. Sure, I have a group of people that I consider my best friends but they're still not quite the friends that my dad will ever be.
Thoughts?
20
Posted on 4/1/15 at 8:08 am to TigerFanInSouthland
Mom
Posted on 4/1/15 at 8:08 am to TigerFanInSouthland
Moms live longer.
Posted on 4/1/15 at 8:09 am to TigerFanInSouthland
I still have both, but I would have to think mom.
I say this because I feel like my dad is more of a rock and when it's his time he will be ready. My mom is more feeble and its would be more like "she wasn't ready" or she was taken against her will. And thats heartbreaking.
I say this because I feel like my dad is more of a rock and when it's his time he will be ready. My mom is more feeble and its would be more like "she wasn't ready" or she was taken against her will. And thats heartbreaking.
This post was edited on 4/1/15 at 8:12 am
Posted on 4/1/15 at 8:09 am to dagrippa
quote:
Moms live longer.
generally speaking yes
Posted on 4/1/15 at 8:09 am to TigerFanInSouthland
Varies for everyone. Lost my dad at 8 so not that big a deal. It will be pretty rough when I lose my mom.
Posted on 4/1/15 at 8:10 am to dagrippa
quote:
Moms live longer
I got that feeling as well. A lot more sudden deaths from a male than a female.
Posted on 4/1/15 at 8:10 am to TigerFanInSouthland
they were both terrible.
Posted on 4/1/15 at 8:12 am to TigerFanInSouthland
Depends on who you're closer to.
I'm closer to my dad.
Love mom, but we don't have a great relationship.
I'm closer to my dad.
Love mom, but we don't have a great relationship.
Posted on 4/1/15 at 8:12 am to TigerFanInSouthland
Whichever one goes last imo. Then you hit that realization you have no parents left and you are now the head/ patriarch.
Posted on 4/1/15 at 8:13 am to TigerFanInSouthland
Not really sure there's a clear answer. I lost my dad when I was 17 so I've lived a while without him. Obviously there are some things that you just can't replace without a dad. But at the same time I can't imagine not having a mom either.
I guess bottom line is it's devastating to lose either parent, at any age.
I guess bottom line is it's devastating to lose either parent, at any age.
Posted on 4/1/15 at 8:16 am to TigerFanInSouthland
mine will be my mom
by a factor of about 10,000
by a factor of about 10,000
Posted on 4/1/15 at 8:16 am to TigerFanInSouthland
More Devastating loss? Whoever the "center" of the family is. There is always a "center" the family revolves around.
For us, our mom. It was a truly devastating loss.
Side note: My belief is the "centers" are usually the first to pass. I've seen it many times where that happens. No explanation why, just something that seems to happen more often.
For us, our mom. It was a truly devastating loss.
Side note: My belief is the "centers" are usually the first to pass. I've seen it many times where that happens. No explanation why, just something that seems to happen more often.
Posted on 4/1/15 at 8:17 am to Skinner
quote:
I say this because I feel like my dad is more of a rock and when it's his time he will be ready. My mom is more feeble and its would be more like "she wasn't ready" or she was taken against her will. And thats heartbreaking.
lucky for me (since i have the pull the plug if that comes up), my mom has told me numerous times that she doesn't want to prolong her life
she's scared b/c our family lives a LOOONG time
Posted on 4/1/15 at 8:19 am to SlowFlowPro
Man i'd be torn between giving my mom her last wish and wanting to keep her around. That's rough.
Posted on 4/1/15 at 8:20 am to TigerFanInSouthland
Doesn't really matter. I'm pretty sure I'll be inconsolable after both.
Actually have to bury an uncle today. My dad's brother. But an uncle that's been a pretty significant part of my entire life. Today is going to be pretty rough not only on me, but I know it's going to be hard for my dad.
Actually have to bury an uncle today. My dad's brother. But an uncle that's been a pretty significant part of my entire life. Today is going to be pretty rough not only on me, but I know it's going to be hard for my dad.
Posted on 4/1/15 at 8:21 am to TigerFanInSouthland
When my mom died it was almost a relief, she had suffered quite a bit. When my dad died shortly after, I broke down.
Posted on 4/1/15 at 8:21 am to Skinner
my mom's last wish is to die peacefully
and there is a reason she chose me to be the plug puller
and there is a reason she chose me to be the plug puller
Posted on 4/1/15 at 8:24 am to TigerFanInSouthland
I'm going with "Mom".Mine will be 79 in August.She plays Golf.Very active.
My Dad died in 1989.He was 56 and I was 28.That was tough.It's was sudden.Out of the blue.And,he's gone.
eta:Sorry for your loss Prom.
My Dad died in 1989.He was 56 and I was 28.That was tough.It's was sudden.Out of the blue.And,he's gone.
eta:Sorry for your loss Prom.
This post was edited on 4/1/15 at 8:27 am
Posted on 4/1/15 at 9:31 am to TigerFanInSouthland
Depends on the person and depends on the parents.
For me, my Dad. My Dad is a good guy.
My mom is a POS alcoholic and could keel over at any second. I've been mentally prepared to get the call about my mom since I was 19.
For me, my Dad. My Dad is a good guy.
My mom is a POS alcoholic and could keel over at any second. I've been mentally prepared to get the call about my mom since I was 19.
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