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Ex-wife's aunt is dying

Posted on 3/2/15 at 10:46 am
Posted by jvilletiger25
jacksonville, fl
Member since Jan 2014
17004 posts
Posted on 3/2/15 at 10:46 am
Even though we're not together anymore, I still love her family. We were together almost half our lives, so of course I grew close to them. Idk what I should do. Should I go to the funeral, or will they probably not want me there?
Posted by SabiDojo
Open to any suggestions.
Member since Nov 2010
83933 posts
Posted on 3/2/15 at 10:47 am to
I would go. They are still family, imo.
Posted by MightyYat
New Orleans
Member since Jan 2009
24390 posts
Posted on 3/2/15 at 10:47 am to
You show up, pay your respects and leave. Don't stick around or go back to the house or anything.
Posted by Bunk Moreland
Member since Dec 2010
53316 posts
Posted on 3/2/15 at 10:48 am to
I would make a quick appearance at the viewing, if there is one.
Posted by MyNameIsNobody
Member since Dec 2013
1132 posts
Posted on 3/2/15 at 10:48 am to
quote:

Ex-wife's aunt is dying


you should prbably see the aunt before she dies...
This post was edited on 3/2/15 at 10:49 am
Posted by fightin tigers
Downtown Prairieville
Member since Mar 2008
73681 posts
Posted on 3/2/15 at 10:48 am to
Ask the wife if you presence would be accepted or not. Can always send flowers.
Posted by GeauxxxTigers23
TeamBunt General Manager
Member since Apr 2013
62514 posts
Posted on 3/2/15 at 10:49 am to
quote:

You show up, pay your respects and leave.
Posted by StormTiger
Norwich, England, but from TX
Member since Dec 2003
4892 posts
Posted on 3/2/15 at 10:49 am to
I'd do what you think your ex-wife would be okay with...(sounds beta, but at the end of the day it's her family)
Posted by djangochained
Gardere
Member since Jul 2013
19054 posts
Posted on 3/2/15 at 10:49 am to
sympathy sex

grieving women need that D
Posted by CoachDon
Louisville
Member since Sep 2014
12409 posts
Posted on 3/2/15 at 10:49 am to
quote:

You show up, pay your respects and leave.


This. As inconspicuous as possible. If you are truly there for the right reasons, then you'll get in and out with as little interaction as possible.
Posted by rockchlkjayhku11
Cincinnati, OH
Member since Aug 2006
36450 posts
Posted on 3/2/15 at 10:50 am to
I would say to show up and make a donation or send flowers or whatever they are asking for but I have no experience with this.

Any way you can ask your ex-wife in a sophisticated manner if she is ok with you attending?
Posted by SabiDojo
Open to any suggestions.
Member since Nov 2010
83933 posts
Posted on 3/2/15 at 10:50 am to
quote:

you should prbably see the aunt before she dies...



Derp. Good catch.
Posted by mikelbr
Baton Rouge
Member since Apr 2008
47497 posts
Posted on 3/2/15 at 10:50 am to
quote:

Even though we're not together anymore, I still love her family. We were together almost half our lives, so of course I grew close to them. Idk what I should do. Should I go to the funeral, or will they probably not want me there?


Go.
Posted by DallasTiger
THE Capital City
Member since Jan 2004
4224 posts
Posted on 3/2/15 at 10:56 am to
Each situation is different in terms of why you and the ex broke up, but assuming you didn't do something extraordinary to make her family dislike you I say go.

My ex-wife and I have been divorced for more than twenty years, but we still care about each others' families - like you said, we spent a great deal of time with them when we were younger. And we've seen each other at several funerals over the years as our families age.

I'm proud we can act this way - just because our marriage didn't work out doesn't mean we're not decent people.

And... if you really cared about the aunt, then you'll regret not going. And that regret will eat at you more than a couple hours of feeling uncomfortable attending the funeral with your ex.
Posted by VetteGuy
Member since Feb 2008
28164 posts
Posted on 3/2/15 at 10:57 am to
Go, but don't bring new SO or wife.

Posted by arseinclarse
Algiers Purnt
Member since Apr 2007
34412 posts
Posted on 3/2/15 at 10:57 am to
I think you should give the eulogy.
Posted by jvilletiger25
jacksonville, fl
Member since Jan 2014
17004 posts
Posted on 3/2/15 at 10:58 am to
quote:

you should prbably see the aunt before she dies...



She is in Memphis, TN. She was going to come back home, but the doctor wouldn't let he leave the hospital. She is eaten up with cancer. It would be a two day trip for me to drive to see her.
Posted by tigeraddict
Baton Rouge
Member since Mar 2007
11806 posts
Posted on 3/2/15 at 10:59 am to
When you divorced your ex, you divorced her family as well. If you feel you need to do something, send some flowers. You will be entering a lose/lose situation if you do more.

This is from personal experience... Just move on....
Posted by SuperSaint
Sorting Out OT BS Since '2007'
Member since Sep 2007
140462 posts
Posted on 3/2/15 at 11:01 am to
How did the ex-wife find out you cheated on her with her Aunt?
Posted by bamarep
Member since Nov 2013
51806 posts
Posted on 3/2/15 at 11:01 am to
Sounds a lot like my situation. I was with my ex for 22 years and was very close to her family. My ex mother in law and her mother came (albeit uninvited) to my wedding last year when I remarried because "she wanted to see me happy again."

She's now in the final stages of cancer and when the end comes I'll be there whether my ex likes it or not. It's not about the ex, it's about the love and respect I gained for her family over the years.
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