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Ex-wife's aunt is dying
Posted on 3/2/15 at 10:46 am
Posted on 3/2/15 at 10:46 am
Even though we're not together anymore, I still love her family. We were together almost half our lives, so of course I grew close to them. Idk what I should do. Should I go to the funeral, or will they probably not want me there?
19
Posted on 3/2/15 at 10:47 am to jvilletiger25
I would go. They are still family, imo.
Posted on 3/2/15 at 10:47 am to jvilletiger25
You show up, pay your respects and leave. Don't stick around or go back to the house or anything.
Posted on 3/2/15 at 10:48 am to jvilletiger25
I would make a quick appearance at the viewing, if there is one.
Posted on 3/2/15 at 10:48 am to jvilletiger25
quote:
Ex-wife's aunt is dying
you should prbably see the aunt before she dies...
This post was edited on 3/2/15 at 10:49 am
Posted on 3/2/15 at 10:48 am to jvilletiger25
Ask the wife if you presence would be accepted or not. Can always send flowers.
Posted on 3/2/15 at 10:49 am to MightyYat
quote:
You show up, pay your respects and leave.
Posted on 3/2/15 at 10:49 am to jvilletiger25
I'd do what you think your ex-wife would be okay with...(sounds beta, but at the end of the day it's her family)
Posted on 3/2/15 at 10:49 am to jvilletiger25
sympathy sex
grieving women need that D
grieving women need that D
Posted on 3/2/15 at 10:49 am to MightyYat
quote:
You show up, pay your respects and leave.
This. As inconspicuous as possible. If you are truly there for the right reasons, then you'll get in and out with as little interaction as possible.
Posted on 3/2/15 at 10:50 am to jvilletiger25
I would say to show up and make a donation or send flowers or whatever they are asking for but I have no experience with this.
Any way you can ask your ex-wife in a sophisticated manner if she is ok with you attending?
Any way you can ask your ex-wife in a sophisticated manner if she is ok with you attending?
Posted on 3/2/15 at 10:50 am to MyNameIsNobody
quote:
you should prbably see the aunt before she dies...
Derp. Good catch.
Posted on 3/2/15 at 10:50 am to jvilletiger25
quote:
Even though we're not together anymore, I still love her family. We were together almost half our lives, so of course I grew close to them. Idk what I should do. Should I go to the funeral, or will they probably not want me there?
Go.
Posted on 3/2/15 at 10:56 am to jvilletiger25
Each situation is different in terms of why you and the ex broke up, but assuming you didn't do something extraordinary to make her family dislike you I say go.
My ex-wife and I have been divorced for more than twenty years, but we still care about each others' families - like you said, we spent a great deal of time with them when we were younger. And we've seen each other at several funerals over the years as our families age.
I'm proud we can act this way - just because our marriage didn't work out doesn't mean we're not decent people.
And... if you really cared about the aunt, then you'll regret not going. And that regret will eat at you more than a couple hours of feeling uncomfortable attending the funeral with your ex.
My ex-wife and I have been divorced for more than twenty years, but we still care about each others' families - like you said, we spent a great deal of time with them when we were younger. And we've seen each other at several funerals over the years as our families age.
I'm proud we can act this way - just because our marriage didn't work out doesn't mean we're not decent people.
And... if you really cared about the aunt, then you'll regret not going. And that regret will eat at you more than a couple hours of feeling uncomfortable attending the funeral with your ex.
Posted on 3/2/15 at 10:57 am to jvilletiger25
Go, but don't bring new SO or wife.
Posted on 3/2/15 at 10:57 am to jvilletiger25
I think you should give the eulogy.
Posted on 3/2/15 at 10:58 am to MyNameIsNobody
quote:
you should prbably see the aunt before she dies...
She is in Memphis, TN. She was going to come back home, but the doctor wouldn't let he leave the hospital. She is eaten up with cancer. It would be a two day trip for me to drive to see her.
Posted on 3/2/15 at 10:59 am to jvilletiger25
When you divorced your ex, you divorced her family as well. If you feel you need to do something, send some flowers. You will be entering a lose/lose situation if you do more.
This is from personal experience... Just move on....
This is from personal experience... Just move on....
Posted on 3/2/15 at 11:01 am to jvilletiger25
How did the ex-wife find out you cheated on her with her Aunt?
Posted on 3/2/15 at 11:01 am to MyNameIsNobody
Sounds a lot like my situation. I was with my ex for 22 years and was very close to her family. My ex mother in law and her mother came (albeit uninvited) to my wedding last year when I remarried because "she wanted to see me happy again."
She's now in the final stages of cancer and when the end comes I'll be there whether my ex likes it or not. It's not about the ex, it's about the love and respect I gained for her family over the years.
She's now in the final stages of cancer and when the end comes I'll be there whether my ex likes it or not. It's not about the ex, it's about the love and respect I gained for her family over the years.
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