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Oldie but goodie - Gilbert Gottfried joke
Posted on 1/13/15 at 8:00 pm
Posted on 1/13/15 at 8:00 pm
A man walks into a bar and starts drinking. He gets so drunk he pukes all over his shirt. He goes to the bartender and says "I'm in trouble. I'm not supposed to be drinking, my wife will kill me." The bartender says here's what you do, "Put a $10 bill in your shirt pocket and when you get home tell your wife a drunk guy puked on you and gave you $10 to have it cleaned." The man says great I'll try that...
When he gets home his wife angrily confronts him about the puke on his shirt. He pulls the bill out of his pocket and says "see honey, Im not drunk. Another man puked on my shirt and gave me $10 to have it cleaned." The wife says "but that's a $20 bill." The man pauses then says, "Oh yea I forgot to tell you, he also shite in my pants"!
When he gets home his wife angrily confronts him about the puke on his shirt. He pulls the bill out of his pocket and says "see honey, Im not drunk. Another man puked on my shirt and gave me $10 to have it cleaned." The wife says "but that's a $20 bill." The man pauses then says, "Oh yea I forgot to tell you, he also shite in my pants"!
8
Posted on 1/13/15 at 8:03 pm to The Mick
I've defeinitely heard that... It's great. I had no idea Gilbert was behind it. 
Posted on 1/13/15 at 8:04 pm to The Mick
You can't read a Gottfried joke man.
You need the voice and the perfect delivery and the arm on the forehead and the squishy face.
You need the voice and the perfect delivery and the arm on the forehead and the squishy face.
Posted on 1/13/15 at 8:04 pm to The Mick
Posted on 1/13/15 at 8:04 pm to The Mick
That's tame as far as GG goes, if you've seen his standup he has some nasty stuff
Posted on 1/13/15 at 8:05 pm to yankeeundercover
I heard him do the joke, I assume he wrote it but not certain.
Classic imo
Classic imo
Posted on 1/13/15 at 8:06 pm to genro
quote:Wasn't he one of the pioneers of "The Aristocrats"?
That's tame as far as GG goes, if you've seen his standup he has some nasty stuff
Posted on 1/13/15 at 8:06 pm to genro
quote:
if you've seen his standup he has some nasty stuff
He's fricking hilarious. Very underrated comic.
Posted on 1/13/15 at 8:09 pm to The Mick
GG always cracks me up. Nasty SOB
Posted on 1/13/15 at 8:11 pm to yankeeundercover
Well he had the most famously performed rendition of it, it was in the Aristocrats movie. IDK if he was a pioneer.
Posted on 1/13/15 at 8:15 pm to Breesus
Wanna post one but I might get banned
Posted on 1/13/15 at 8:28 pm to The Mick
Be honest, when you read it did you do it with GG's voice in your head??
Posted on 1/13/15 at 8:42 pm to rsbd
Got to ... makes the joke much better
Posted on 1/13/15 at 9:07 pm to The Mick
I doubt he wrote it.
If you steal a joke from GG, you stole it twice.
If you steal a joke from GG, you stole it twice.
Posted on 1/13/15 at 9:14 pm to The Mick
Posted on 3/30/20 at 9:42 am to The Mick
Do you have a video, or an official site where it proves it's Gilbert Gottfried's joke?. It's for a school project Im doing, and need to justify this joke in my project's bibliography.
It would be very kind of you, thank's beforehand. Have a great day.
It would be very kind of you, thank's beforehand. Have a great day.
Posted on 3/30/20 at 9:45 am to yankeeundercover
quote:
Wasn't he one of the pioneers of "The Aristocrats"?
He's just famous for giving a staggeringly awful/amazing rendition of it. Bob Saget as done so as well. The Aristocrats is a very old "comedians' joke" that they do when hanging out.
Posted on 3/30/20 at 9:54 am to Joshjrn
quote:
He's just famous for giving a staggeringly awful/amazing rendition of it.
What was especially memorable about that was that it was right after 9/11, and he tried to do a joke about flying into Empire State, obviously trying to steer into it to break the tension, but completely lost the room. He came back with the Aristocrats, and won them back. A lot of comedians cite that as being the first time many of them had a good time after 9/11.
Posted on 3/30/20 at 10:05 am to lsu480
quote:
/ thread
quote:
lsu480
You're alive? Posted on 3/30/20 at 11:35 am to Montezuma
quote:
What was especially memorable about that was that it was right after 9/11, and he tried to do a joke about flying into Empire State, obviously trying to steer into it to break the tension, but completely lost the room. He came back with the Aristocrats, and won them back. A lot of comedians cite that as being the first time many of them had a good time after 9/11.
Yup, his face, and then every else's faces when he just went for fricking broke were classic
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