- My Forums
- Tiger Rant
- LSU Recruiting
- SEC Rant
- Saints Talk
- Pelicans Talk
- More Sports Board
- Fantasy Sports
- Golf Board
- Soccer Board
- O-T Lounge
- Tech Board
- Home/Garden Board
- Outdoor Board
- Health/Fitness Board
- Movie/TV Board
- Book Board
- Music Board
- Political Talk
- Money Talk
- Fark Board
- Gaming Board
- Travel Board
- Food/Drink Board
- Ticket Exchange
- TD Help Board
Customize My Forums- View All Forums
- Show Left Links
- Topic Sort Options
- Trending Topics
- Recent Topics
- Active Topics
Started By
Message
Mark Twain on Masturbation
Posted on 11/30/14 at 8:12 pm
Posted on 11/30/14 at 8:12 pm
LINK
quote:
All great writers upon health and morals, both ancient and modern, have struggled with this stately subject ; this shows its dignity and importance. Some of these writers have taken one side, some the other.
Homer, in the second book of the Iliad, says with fine enthusiasm, “Give me masturbation or give me death!”
Caesar, in his Commentaries, says, “To the lonely it is company; to the forsaken it is a friend; to the aged and impotent it is a benefactor; they that be penniless are yet rich, in that they still have this majestic diversion.”
[…]
Robinson Crusoe says, “I cannot describe what I owe to this gentle art.”
Queen Elizabeth said, “It is the bulwark of virginity.”
Cetewayo, the Zulu hero, remarked that, “A jerk in the hand is worth two in the bush.”
The immortal Franklin has said, “Masturbation is the mother of invention.” He also said, “Masturbation is the best policy.”
Michelangelo and all the other Old Masters — Old Masters, I will remark, is an abbreviation, a contraction — have used similar language. Michelangelo said to Pope Julius II, “Self-negation is noble, self-culture is beneficent, self-possession is manly, but to the truly great and inspiring soul they are poor and tame compared to self-abuse.”
Posted on 11/30/14 at 8:17 pm to RummelTiger
quote:
Wait, what?
Huck must have pulling it mightily on the raft. Hope Jim didn't see.
Posted on 11/30/14 at 8:18 pm to ManBearTiger
Mastered my Johnson.
Sex Ed.
Sex Ed.
Posted on 11/30/14 at 8:19 pm to glassman
Hope Huck didn't see **** Jim whoppin his tater. I expect Jim was packing quite a member
Posted on 11/30/14 at 8:32 pm to LSUballs
Still had the sleeve it came in on it too.
Posted on 11/30/14 at 8:41 pm to ManBearTiger
Caesar really had a way with words.
Posted on 11/30/14 at 9:02 pm to ManBearTiger
I'm just going to go out there and say it, masturbation is better than a hj. And most bjs.
Posted on 11/30/14 at 9:03 pm to glassman
quote:
Huck must have pulling it mightily on the raft. Hope Jim didn't see.
He likely did, then chuckled...
Posted on 1/10/15 at 11:50 am to ManBearTiger
Homer, in the second book of the Iliad, says with fine enthusiasm, “Give me masturbation or give me death!”
Posted on 1/10/15 at 12:09 pm to ManBearTiger
quote:
Queen Elizabeth said, “It is the bulwark of virginity.”
Popular
Back to top
Follow TigerDroppings for LSU Football News