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re: I need some honest relationship advice
Posted on 11/26/14 at 9:15 am to SoDakHawk
Posted on 11/26/14 at 9:15 am to SoDakHawk
I've noticed another trend in this thread, and not to sidetrack it but, is it a southern thing to take dates to football games?
Up here in Big Ten country you tailgate with your buddies, get drunk with your buddies, and go to the game with your buddies. Sure the group might include some girls but nobody goes on a "date". That's the worst thing possible because what if you hit it off with some hot girl during the course of the day. There's lots of parties and lots of girls around, why would you want a date blocking you? That night after the game, if things haven't worked out already, you either hit a house party or head to the bars to find some strange for the evening.
Up here in Big Ten country you tailgate with your buddies, get drunk with your buddies, and go to the game with your buddies. Sure the group might include some girls but nobody goes on a "date". That's the worst thing possible because what if you hit it off with some hot girl during the course of the day. There's lots of parties and lots of girls around, why would you want a date blocking you? That night after the game, if things haven't worked out already, you either hit a house party or head to the bars to find some strange for the evening.
2
Posted on 11/26/14 at 10:35 am to SoDakHawk
I, like others in this thread, have similar experience. I did the long distance thing with my high school girl friend for a few years in college. We broke up and got back together several times, and both of us were really miserable the entire time. What finally brought me out of it was realizing that not only was I miserable in the relationship, but she was as well. That then made it an easy decision for me, though it was still a hard first step to take.
It's very hard to see when you're right in the middle of it, but both of you would be better off moving on. This isn't just about you, she's also very conflicted (unless she's just a crazy whore who likes to play games. But even if that's the case, the next steps are for the best anyway). You have to be fair to you and to her, not nice. And a clean break is how it should be, no more breaking up but continuing to talk/see each other.
TLDR:
1. Be fair, not nice.
2. Make it a clean break.
It's very hard to see when you're right in the middle of it, but both of you would be better off moving on. This isn't just about you, she's also very conflicted (unless she's just a crazy whore who likes to play games. But even if that's the case, the next steps are for the best anyway). You have to be fair to you and to her, not nice. And a clean break is how it should be, no more breaking up but continuing to talk/see each other.
TLDR:
1. Be fair, not nice.
2. Make it a clean break.
Posted on 11/26/14 at 10:45 am to SoDakHawk
quote:
I've noticed another trend in this thread, and not to sidetrack it but, is it a southern thing to take dates to football games?
Yes. Games are a huge social occasion. It varies from school to school and within cliques, but at a lot of schools in the South, having a date for the game is expected. Texas A&M is the best example:
Guys in the Cadet Corps are expected to bring a date to every game. That girl has to at least give him a peck on the cheek after every score. Even if the guy's got no shot with a girl, if they've been drinking all day, this level of physical contact (especially if the team's offense is scoring a ton of points) can often lead to some good times.
At LSU, at least in the Greek Community, the pledges all sit together with their frat, but the upperclassmen generally all have dates and usually sit near their frat or their date's sorority. If you don't have a date, you sit with your frat or sorority and f&%k with the pledges. This is pretty normal among most SEC schools.
Posted on 11/26/14 at 10:54 am to kingbob
FWIW, when I was a pledge at LSU we were supposed to bring a date to the game. We all got two tickets through the frat as well
Posted on 11/26/14 at 2:00 pm to SCwTiger
Yep, that's the idea.
I would like to add that I don't understand the advice to "make a clean break" or "break up with your GF" because I don't agree that OP is in a position where he's compelled to break anything or stop being associated with anybody.
The nature of his relationship is going to change. It's going from a high school type of "going steady" to something more mature and open.
She wants some freedom. Let her have it and enjoy some freedom too. No need to say "hey, let's break up" or "let's have a clean break". Just say, "our relationship is more mature and is now OPEN so that we can experience new things with new people".
They could still end up together some time in the future 1, 2, 3 or 5 years from now -- who knows?
Why close doors and burn bridges?
That's my 2 cents.
I would like to add that I don't understand the advice to "make a clean break" or "break up with your GF" because I don't agree that OP is in a position where he's compelled to break anything or stop being associated with anybody.
The nature of his relationship is going to change. It's going from a high school type of "going steady" to something more mature and open.
She wants some freedom. Let her have it and enjoy some freedom too. No need to say "hey, let's break up" or "let's have a clean break". Just say, "our relationship is more mature and is now OPEN so that we can experience new things with new people".
They could still end up together some time in the future 1, 2, 3 or 5 years from now -- who knows?
Why close doors and burn bridges?
That's my 2 cents.
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