Here's a true story of my recent bachelor party endeavors out on Bourbon Street.

A buddy of mine decided to lock himself down to his dirty, stick-it-in-my-butt, smoking, blonde-haired, fat girlfriend. In keeping with the male species tradition, we decided to have some drinks, smoke cigars, and "celebrate" our buddy's new found prison sentence and Bourbon Street made the most sense since we're fake OT ballers and can't really afford more than that.
Anyway, the night started off slow with a long wait in line at Acme Oyster House but as always, it was well worth the wait. After some beers and good seafood, we hit the pavement going from bar to bar. After a while, we were all pretty hammered and figured it was time for some Barely Legal action (because that's how we wagon wheel).
Upon interacting with Larry Flint's finest, a few of us decided to to spend too much money on not enough action "in the back". We left disappointed and hit up other establishments of the same variety. Forgive my memory but I don't remember which ones we went to. In any event, they were fun. Lots of arse and titties and titties and arse. I mean, lots of them. There was this one really good-looking (could have been the alcohol though) stripper of African decent, about a year or two younger than me that was really into me. Having never been with a girl of her hue before, I decided to go along with it. One thing led to another and she offered to sneak me into the back without paying.
This is where things get very fuzzy. I had my drink with me and I was stumbling so she held my drink for me while we walked to where she was bringing me. I honestly don't remember much except her going down on me. Next thing I knew was her being very angry and demanding $300 cash. I remember huge men (much, much bigger than me) staring so I obeyed and gave her the money and left.
I went back to my buddies and told them we had to go. They say that the best part of me was still hanging out of my pants at this point. I told them what happened and we went back to the hotel for the night. Bachelor party ruined (depending on how you look at it). The next morning, my wallet was missing and I was in extreme pain. I had a black eye and was severely bruised (I'm assuming those huge men staring at me had beaten the shite out of me either before or after I noticed them. I don't remember it though.

Fast forward to last weekend

I go to Temptations with some of the same friends as the bachelor party.
All is well, we're having a good time. Drinking a little bit and having some good ole fashioned fun with the lovely girls there. Next thing I know, this black stripper who looks somewhat familiar (but you know how they all look the same) and obviously remembers me comes to me and asks if I was stupid or had a death wish for being back there. Apparently this is where the previous incident occurred. In any event, I act like I have no idea what she's talking about. This time two of my buddies offer to go to the back with me for a lapdance by the other strippers and this black one from the last time. This time we're all having a good time, nothing out of the ordinary and all went great. We leave there happy (of course) and looking for the next place to spend money and get drunk at. We stop at Pat O's and discover none of us have our wallets.

So there you have it. Long story about how the same stripper fricked me twice by stealing my wallet. I should have learned the first time but I guess I'm just that stupid. Consider this a warning for those of you going to Temptations this weekend or anytime in the future. They're running a wallet-stealing, white-boy-beating operation there.

What would the OT have done in this situation?