Your food sucks: An open letter to the people of Chicago

Chicago's name often gets bandied around when talking about the great food cities in America. I'm here to say that phenomenon is a result only of a large population and a media that caters to large populations. While there are some great restaurants in Chicago, the overall food culture is beneath that of even Houston. People in Chicago do not really care about food. They say they do, but life and food in Chicago are as bland as the culture.

Breaking it down into categories, Chicago does shine when it comes to its top end restaurants: Girl and Goat, Spiaggia, Alinea, and so forth. These are some of the best restaurants in America. But that does not say anything about the general state of food in Chicago. Rich people get the best ingredients and the best chefs, so it's natural to have some of the best restaurants. It's a sharp decline from the top in Chicago.

Ethnic cuisine (what does that term even mean?), one would expect, should be phenomenal. It is not. Again, with the sheer preponderance of ethnic restaurants one would expect excellence, but the end product is a reflection of the general apathy about good food within the populace who live in Chicago. Pilsen is an exception, with a number of world-class Mexican restaurants. But even there, I can find just as many excellent Hispanic restaurants on the Williams Blvd. corridor in Kenner, La. It is no where close to Houston in terms of Hispanic cuisine.

What about working class, predominantly white food? Hot dogs, Italian beef, and deep dish pizza is my next subject. First, let's be clear: A "Chicago dog" is no different from a hot dog anywhere else except they take pride in not putting ketchup on it and putting lots of condiments on it. You take pride in this? OK. Hot dogs, like much of Chicago food, suck. Italian beef is another animal. Italian beef, in my view, is the only significant, worthwhile contribution Chicago makes to America's culinary scene. I might even choose a good Italian beef sandwich over a good roast beef poorboy. Deep dish pizza? Again, another lackluster "contribution" from a city that cares more about catching up to New York's financial prowess than enjoying life. I will make a claim that at face value appears to be a preposterous, but in reality is true, and say New Orleans has better pizza than Chicago. It's true. The fact that a place like Connie's has been popular in the city for over 50 years is proof enough.

I'm not sure Americans quite understand how wonderful the people of New Orleans have it, at least in terms of cuisine. If you ever see a ranking that has Chicago ahead of New Orleans, please disregard that list ASAP. As far as I can tell, the only cities I would ever travel to for the purpose of eating are New York, DC, and New Orleans. Houston, Los Angeles, maybe Seattle or San Fran would be next in line. But never, ever would I put Chicago there.