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Started By
Message
Death of a Close Friend
Posted on 3/31/14 at 7:31 pm
Posted on 3/31/14 at 7:31 pm
A good friend of mine passed away today. 
What is the proper etiquette in regards to helping his family out? I've already called several family members to offer my condolences and offer to help in any way that I can in regards to funeral preparations.
What would the OT do?
What is the proper etiquette in regards to helping his family out? I've already called several family members to offer my condolences and offer to help in any way that I can in regards to funeral preparations.
What would the OT do?
29
Posted on 3/31/14 at 7:32 pm to O
write them on facebook
Posted on 3/31/14 at 7:32 pm to O
quote:
I've already called several family members to offer my condolences and offer to help in any way that I can in regards to funeral preparations
quote:
What would the OT do?
Leave it at that.
Posted on 3/31/14 at 7:33 pm to O
I lost one of best friends back in December, I know what you're going through. Prayers sent.
Posted on 3/31/14 at 7:33 pm to O
quote:
What would the OT do?
Do just what you did and leave it at that. The family will call you if they need anything.
I'm sorry for the loss of your friend.
This post was edited on 3/31/14 at 7:33 pm
Posted on 3/31/14 at 7:33 pm to Lester Earl
That didn't take long
Posted on 3/31/14 at 7:33 pm to O
quote:
What is the proper etiquette in regards to helping his family out? I've already called several family members to offer my condolences and offer to help in any way that I can in regards to funeral preparations.
I would say that you done enough
Posted on 3/31/14 at 7:34 pm to O
Just say you are there for them.
Posted on 3/31/14 at 7:34 pm to O
You did exactly what you should have done. I'm sorry for your loss.
Posted on 3/31/14 at 7:38 pm to O
If you live in the same town as the family. Go by there and hug the wife, moms neck. There is a ton of power and strength in a simple hug for someone who is grieving!!
I just buried my father in law Sunday and never realized how powerful it was.
I just buried my father in law Sunday and never realized how powerful it was.
Posted on 3/31/14 at 7:40 pm to O
Sounds to me like you have done everything that you needed to do...you may want to bring some food to the immediate family on the day of the service...
they know you are concerned and have offered your help...anything further without them asking would be crossing the line, imo...
they know you are concerned and have offered your help...anything further without them asking would be crossing the line, imo...
Posted on 3/31/14 at 7:41 pm to O
quote:
What would the OT do?
I would get A BUNCH of food, go drop it off at their home and see if there is anything I can do for them in their time of need.
Posted on 3/31/14 at 7:43 pm to SohCahToa
quote:
That didn't take long
it's a good way to tell them you are there if they need you, without bothering them with calls.
do that, write them a card, cook them a dish for dinner, whatever. Some people dont like others around
Posted on 3/31/14 at 7:47 pm to Lester Earl
quote:
it's a good way to tell them you are there if they need you, without bothering them with calls.
I'll just be honest with you as someone who lost their dad in 2010, it's kind of annoying when people write on his Facebook wall for his birthday and stuff. i mean it's a nice gesture, but they probably don't want to see his Facebook profile popping up every time they want to get on the internet to get away for a bit
again it's a nice gesture, but i just would't make a habit out of writing on a dead person's Facebook wall. it just seems... off to the people who were closest to them.
Posted on 3/31/14 at 7:48 pm to O
Draw as much attention to yourself as possible and offer to act as a bouncer for the funeral
Posted on 3/31/14 at 7:48 pm to O
quote:
A good friend of mine passed away today.
T&P
This may be an odd way to look at it but funerals are f*cked up for those who have lost. You have a few days to a week of constant barrage of people, then they all go back to their lives and the survivors are isolated.
A simple suggestion is to do something later on (the first month to first year of grief) with your friend's family and others who were close to them. That is usually when they actually need people but rarely ask.
Posted on 3/31/14 at 7:50 pm to O
If you want to help financially just send something. They won't ask.
Posted on 3/31/14 at 7:51 pm to O
Cooking a meal, like a gumbo, and just dropping it off seems to be common place. If there are kids maybe some sweets or something.
Also buying the kids fast food or even pizza (assuming the family is good with it) also seems to be something that distracts kids even if just for a few minutes.
Make it a point to be in and out when dropping it off, don't make it an option. Kind of say, "Hey, was going to handle dinner for y'all tonight. Just want to know if there is anyone who can't eat something."
If they say dinner is handled for that day be sure to say remind them that tomorrow night will be taken care of.
Also buying the kids fast food or even pizza (assuming the family is good with it) also seems to be something that distracts kids even if just for a few minutes.
Make it a point to be in and out when dropping it off, don't make it an option. Kind of say, "Hey, was going to handle dinner for y'all tonight. Just want to know if there is anyone who can't eat something."
If they say dinner is handled for that day be sure to say remind them that tomorrow night will be taken care of.
This post was edited on 3/31/14 at 7:52 pm
Posted on 3/31/14 at 7:54 pm to O
Just be there for the family and don't be afraid to talk about him. But keep every thing positive. It is something that they won't forget. Later they will won't to know that he is not forgotten. Just keep all conversations positive.
Posted on 3/31/14 at 7:56 pm to O
Very simple...be there for them.
It's hard to try to say the right thing but your presence will mean a lot...take that from someone who has been on both sides - unfortunately, more and more as time goes on.
Good luck.
It's hard to try to say the right thing but your presence will mean a lot...take that from someone who has been on both sides - unfortunately, more and more as time goes on.
Good luck.
This post was edited on 3/31/14 at 7:57 pm
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