re: Death of a Close Friend

Posted by Charlie Arglist

Wichita, Kansas

Member since Nov 2012

5550 posts

Posted on 3/31/14 at 8:09 pm to O

Were y'all a member of Cosa nostra????

Posted by Clark W Griswold

THE USA

Member since Sep 2012

10512 posts

Posted on 3/31/14 at 8:10 pm to O

Honestly just wait. I've been there and nothing said will help. Give it a little time. Wait for everyone else to move on with their lives and what you say then will help a lot more. They don't need words right now. They need time.

Posted by fr33manator

Baton Rouge

Member since Oct 2010

124495 posts

Posted on 3/31/14 at 8:12 pm to O

Bring them some food. Offer your assistance in any way possible.

Check on them long after the funeral is over. Holidays, significant dates, etc. let them know their loved one is not forgotten.

Posted by Lester Earl

Member since Nov 2003

278602 posts

Posted on 3/31/14 at 8:14 pm to Gnar Cat21

quote:
I'll just be honest with you as someone who lost their dad in 2010, it's kind of annoying when people write on his Facebook wall for his birthday and stuff. i mean it's a nice gesture, but they probably don't want to see his Facebook profile popping up every time they want to get on the internet to get away for a bit

im not saying write the dead person. The family members you wish to offer condolences too

Posted by lsunurse

Member since Dec 2005

129037 posts

Posted on 3/31/14 at 8:14 pm to O

I'm sorry for your loss.

As others said looks like you already have done what you can do. Just wait for them to call and ask for help.

Did your friend have life insurance? Will the family be hurting in having to pay for funeral costs? Could always donate towards that.

Posted by angryslugs

Member since Apr 2008

10205 posts

Posted on 3/31/14 at 8:15 pm to O

Make sure you're there for them in a few months when everyone else gets on with there lives. That's usually when they will need someone the most.

Posted by Gnar Cat21

Piña Coladaburg

Member since Sep 2009

16846 posts

Posted on 3/31/14 at 8:22 pm to Lester Earl

quote:
im not saying write the dead person. The family members you wish to offer condolences too

oh my bad. derp

you might be surprised how many people will write on a dead person's FB wall. thought that's what you meant

Posted by skidry

Member since Jul 2009

3273 posts

Posted on 3/31/14 at 8:28 pm to O

Organize a care calendar of meals for them and get people to sign up for meals like 3 days a week. Handle EVERYTHING, do not let it be a burden for the family. People have been doing this for me for two months and it is awesome. The smallest things set me off to crying and the less they have to deal with the better they can grieve.

Also, laundry is huge. Any relief there helps a great deal.

This post was edited on 3/31/14 at 8:29 pm

Posted by lsu480

Downtown Scottsdale

Member since Oct 2007

92876 posts

Posted on 3/31/14 at 8:30 pm to fr33manator

quote:
Bring them some food

This is the huge IMO. Its WAY better than bringing flowers because nobody feels like cooking, or going to get food, after losing a loved one.

Posted by O

Mandeville

Member since Oct 2011

6470 posts

Posted on 3/31/14 at 8:32 pm to lsunurse

quote:
Did your friend have life insurance?

I don't think so, he was a pretty young guy. 23 or 24.

Posted by O

Mandeville

Member since Oct 2011

6470 posts

Posted on 3/31/14 at 8:33 pm to lsu480

quote:
Bring them some food

I'll see about getting some meals together for his family. This is great advice. That, and whoever suggested laundry help.

Posted by Geauxtiga

No man's land

Member since Jan 2008

34377 posts

Posted on 3/31/14 at 8:36 pm to Gnar Cat21

quote:
it's kind of annoying when people write on his Facebook wall for his birthday and stuff.

but i just would't make a habit out of writing on a dead person's Facebook wall.

Why is it even still up? I don't do facebook so really don't know.

quote:
it just seems... off to the people who were closest to them.

People have to be "off" to be on facebook in the first place.

Posted by Btrtigerfan

Disgruntled employee

Member since Dec 2007

21530 posts

Posted on 3/31/14 at 8:38 pm to O

Most families like to hear nice stories, and funny anecdotes you shared with the deceased. Not the hooker and blow stories, but sometimes people have a different side with co-workers and friends than they do with family. When one of my close friends died, I was asked to speak at the service. I thought there was no way I could even stand in the building, but I got in there and it actually made me feel better to talk about him that way. Those people all came up and thanked us for sharing what we did. It's weird man. Everyone grieves differently. Sucks about your friend. Prayers sent.

Posted by skidry

Member since Jul 2009

3273 posts

Posted on 3/31/14 at 8:41 pm to O

Here is the LINK

Get people to sign up. Not right away. Maybe the week after the funeral. Let it ride until no one will cook for them anymore. Find out what they like, especially the kids, post it in the calendar.

This post was edited on 3/31/14 at 8:47 pm

Posted by lsunurse

Member since Dec 2005

129037 posts

Posted on 3/31/14 at 8:41 pm to O

quote:
I don't think so, he was a pretty young guy. 23 or 24.

Then maybe you can help raise money to help out?

Funeral costs are pricey.

A coworker of mine lost her 3 oldest children in a car accident this weekend. One of my other coworkers started a web page on one of those donation sites to help raise money for her for funeral costs. We also are making up a food schedule at work to bring them food. Page hasn't even been up one day and has received several donations.

If you did something similar, make sure you ask a family member if it is ok first(my coworker was asked permission first before the page was started).

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