Is there a funnier guy in music than Noel Gallagher?

Yes. His brother.

I think he's a douche.

:nb4oasisbetterthanthebeatles:

He was a douche to Michael Hutchence at the Brit Awards. Probably one of the reasons Hutch offed himself.

Todd Snider- The Story of the Ballad of the Devil's Backbone Tavern

After reading that..without a doubt. I dont laugh at much but that shite was

I like Noel's commentary on the Definitely Maybe making of DVD.

"People ask me all the time what that song's about...frickall if I know. It's just drinking, shagging and frickin rock n roll. And that's what she's all about isn't it? I mean that's life."

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Sounded like quite the douche in that interview.

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That's just how he talks. He's really pretty light-hearted and funny...he just curses a TON

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Yes. His brother.

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No.

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But... what f***ing winds me up about books...

This is already the best sentence I've ever heard.
...is, like... my missus will come in with a book and it will be titled - and there's a lot of these, you can substitute any word, it's like a Rubik's Cube of shite titles - it'll be entitled The Incontinence Of Elephants. And I'll say "What's that book about?" And she'll say, "Oh it's about a girl and this load of f***ing nutters..." Right... so it's not about elephants, then? Why the f*** is it called The Incontinence Of Elephants? Another one: The Tales Of The Clumsy Beekeeper. What's that about? "Oh it's about the French Revolution." Right, f*** off. If you're writing a book about a child who's locked in a f***ing cupboard during the f***ing Second World War... he's never seen an elephant. Never mind a f***ing giraffe.

Why are album titles different? Why don't you call yours Some Songs That I've Written, then?
Because people who write and read and review books are f***ing putting themselves a tiny little bit above the rest of us who f***ing make records and write pathetic little songs for a living.

Thing is, I write books, and...
Hey. I know you write books and all that shite. I'm just saying. The winner of the Pulitzer Prize [for fiction]. What a c***. Whoever that is, has got to be. I don't get it. Book sellers, book readers, book writers, book owners - f*** all of them.

Book owners?
Yeah. And I own books! But about shite that happened. That's what I'm talking about. Fifty Shades Of Grey? Fifty shades of s****. I'm not having it. Novels... how could you read that? Do you write novels? Don't tell me you write novels.

I've written a novel.
What was it about?

About a guy who sees a girl...
Here we go. Already the shittest book of all time.

...and he finds her camera and...
But you know that doesn't happen in real life! You know that never happens! Sounds like that film about the yellow Rolls Royce.

What's the film about the yellow Rolls Royce?
It's about a yellow Rolls Royce that's passed down through the ages. Becomes a Nazi staff car. Ends up in a garage in f***ing Chippenham.

It's not exactly like that.
Please don't tell me it's called The Tale Of The F***ing Amateur Beekeeper.

It's called Squirrels In June.
You f***ing c***. You're not trying to tell me you called it Squirrels In June, are you?

No, I didn't call it that. But do you like films?
Yeah, I love films.

But films aren't real. Do you sit watching them thinking, "Oh, this didn't happen"?
Well, you've presented me with a dilemma there. But, say, my favourite film, The Good, The Bad And The Ugly... now, that might've happened. The American Civil War - that happened. I guess I don't have the chip in the brain that allows me to... like, if I was to read the book of The Good, The Bad And The Ugly, I don't want to have to invent the character Clint Eastwood plays... I want to just watch him.

You want all the work done for you.
Too f***ing right. Novels and the people who write them, like I say, are putting themselves a few rungs above the rest of us. They're purporting to be intellectual, and... for you to write a book, is for you to say, "I am better than you." My 68 million records beat your one book.

Your album's over in 45 minutes.
Yeah! Done! In and out, put the kettle on. There's just a lot of time devoted to the reviewing and reading of books. More man-hours are devoted to reading about books - not even reading books.

So, as with Hitler, books are out. What would be your idea of hell?
One of your book signings.

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I've written a novel.
What was it about?

About a guy who sees a girl...
Here we go. Already the shittest book of all time

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