I need ideas on how to mess with the useless temp workers my company just hired | TigerDroppings.com

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TigerHam85
Hawaii Fan
59-024 Kamehameha Highway, Haleiwa
Member since Nov 2009
26299 posts
 Online 

I need ideas on how to mess with the useless temp workers my company just hired


So they hire these fricktards to get this huge job out, and we still won't get it out because of poor management above my level. Anyways, they're absolutely useless and dumb.

Yesterday when an alarm went off from someone trying to get in the gate, I told one of them that was the fire alarm and he needed to run out back and wait by the pond. He stood out there for 10 minutes until I told him everything was clear.

Got any ideas that won't get me killed?

TIA








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Wooly
Washington Fan
Member since Feb 2012
11924 posts

re: I need ideas on how to mess with the useless temp workers my company just hired


Dip your dick in their hot coffee





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lsuwontonwrap
LSU Fan
Member since Aug 2012
12035 posts

re: I need ideas on how to mess with the useless temp workers my company just hired


Put his stapler in jello.





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TigerHam85
Hawaii Fan
59-024 Kamehameha Highway, Haleiwa
Member since Nov 2009
26299 posts
 Online 

re: I need ideas on how to mess with the useless temp workers my company just hired


You're the only fricking person I was hoping wouldn't reply.





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Wooly
Washington Fan
Member since Feb 2012
11924 posts

re: I need ideas on how to mess with the useless temp workers my company just hired


Dick





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TH03
Notre Dame Fan
In Darth's Head
Member since Dec 2008
90977 posts

re: I need ideas on how to mess with the useless temp workers my company just hired


Our temps just scan stuff. If I'm bored, I'll say there are pages missing so they have to rescan thousands of pages





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crimsonsaint
New Orleans Saints Fan
Member since Nov 2009
31356 posts
 Online 

re: I need ideas on how to mess with the useless temp workers my company just hired


quote:

Yesterday when an alarm went off from someone trying to get in the gate, I told one of them that was the fire alarm and he needed to run out back and wait by the pond. He stood out there for 10 minutes until I told him everything was clear.


You seem like a cool guy.






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Placebeaux
LSU Fan
One man's LOL is another man's WTF
Member since Jun 2008
23488 posts

re: I need ideas on how to mess with the useless temp workers my company just hired


Put AIR on a plastic bottle and tell them to go to (whereever) to get it filled.





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Wooly
Washington Fan
Member since Feb 2012
11924 posts

re: I need ideas on how to mess with the useless temp workers my company just hired


Get a huge report and take all the pages out of order and make them put them in order





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TigerHam85
Hawaii Fan
59-024 Kamehameha Highway, Haleiwa
Member since Nov 2009
26299 posts
 Online 

re: I need ideas on how to mess with the useless temp workers my company just hired


Meh, I've been told that once or twice.





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Topwater Trout
LSU Fan
Red Stick
Member since Oct 2010
33877 posts

re: I need ideas on how to mess with the useless temp workers my company just hired


quote:

they hire these fricktards to get this huge job out,


quote:

we still won't get it out because of poor management


Practical jokes should get the job done






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NoHoTiger
LSU Fan
just left of center
Member since Nov 2006
33067 posts

re: I need ideas on how to mess with the useless temp workers my company just hired


quote:

Anyways, they're absolutely useless and dumb.

Not sure how you come to this conclusion seeing as how you say the project won't get completed because upper management sucks. Being a temp is bad enough when you're trying to do the best you can not really knowing anyone or the company and then some frickwad like you decides to make it even worse.

I don't think you need any help in the jackass dept. You've got that pretty well covered.






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iAmBatman
USA Fan
The Batcave
Member since Mar 2011
3936 posts

re: I need ideas on how to mess with the useless temp workers my company just hired


tell him to go find the elbow grease or headlight fluid





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CocomoLSU
Penn State Fan
Inside your dome.
Member since Feb 2004
126515 posts
 Online 

re: I need ideas on how to mess with the useless temp workers my company just hired


Annoy-a-tron, obviously.





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BROffshoreTigerFan
USA Fan
Youngsville
Member since Oct 2007
9565 posts

re: I need ideas on how to mess with the useless temp workers my company just hired


Switch their coffee to decaf for a few weeks. Then switch to expresso.





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jamboybarry
LSU Fan
I Putt Out
Member since Feb 2011
10294 posts
 Online 

re: I need ideas on how to mess with the useless temp workers my company just hired


Tell them they are now union and you're their rep

Then just generally frick with them






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Tiger4Ever
UTEP Fan
Member since Aug 2003
35709 posts

re: I need ideas on how to mess with the useless temp workers my company just hired


quote:

we still won't get it out because of poor management above my level


You sound like a no-responsibility-taking asshat, but I'm sure your company's failures are someone else's fault.






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Boudreaux35
BR
Member since Sep 2007
7739 posts
 Online 

re: I need ideas on how to mess with the useless temp workers my company just hired


quote:

Annoy-a-tron, obviously.


We need another round of that thread!






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Bmath
LSU Fan
TX
Member since Aug 2010
6138 posts

re: I need ideas on how to mess with the useless temp workers my company just hired


quote:

Put his stapler in jello.


1) Rent seasons 1 & 2 of The Office.
2) Pay close attention to how Jim and Dwight interact
3) ???
4) Profit






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TigerHam85
Hawaii Fan
59-024 Kamehameha Highway, Haleiwa
Member since Nov 2009
26299 posts
 Online 

re: I need ideas on how to mess with the useless temp workers my company just hired


I agree. However, if i wouldnt have found 1 of them sleeping on their second day in the break room I probably would be more open to them being good workers.

As for upper management, they saw 1.2m worth of work and jumped on it, without realizing that it would cost us 1.16m to complete the job entirely.

It was a bad business decision taking this job and the 10 minutes the temp worker spent by pond isn't going to change that.






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