How about a good old fashion Crap House Poetry Thread? | TigerDroppings.com

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theantiquetiger
LSU Fan
Dutchtown
Member since Feb 2005
6292 posts

How about a good old fashion Crap House Poetry Thread?



Any shite house poets, port-a-can Picassos, etc, up in here? Let's hear or see your best...
I've always liked the classic:

Here I sit,
All broken hearted,
Had to shit,
But only farted!
An hour later,
I took a chance,
Tried to fart,
And shite my pants!!!



This post was edited on 6/20 at 10:55 am



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LSUballs
LA-Monroe Fan
RayVegas LA
Member since Feb 2008
21828 posts

re: How about a good old fashion Crap House Poetry Thread?


The port-o-john man, he can't weld and he can't fit, but you can bet your arse he knows his shite.

Please don't throw cigarette butts in the urinal, it makes them soggy and hard to light.

Here I sit arse cheeks a flexin, given birth to another Texan.

The paint these walls to stop my pen, but the shite house poet strikes again.



This post was edited on 6/20 at 11:35 am


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MondayMorningMarch
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Pumping Sunshine. She's cute!
Member since Dec 2006
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re: How about a good old fashion Crap House Poetry Thread?


Cover your load. It's the law!





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fr33manator
LSU Fan
Baton Rouge
Member since Oct 2010
52351 posts

re: How about a good old fashion Crap House Poetry Thread?


I'll think one up real quick like.

Here I squat, inside this stall
Surrounded by 4 piss-stained walls
Umpteen racial slurs abound
Upon these surfaces are found
Among the carvings, caked with grime
"call 581-... For a good time"
It seems as if "Kilroy was here"
And "Marty Gauch is a big queer"
The Ku Klux Klan here too has been
Crossed out, and then scratched in again
I spy now a crude set of tits
As fervently I try to shit
On every side is writ in ink
"nazis rule" then "nazis stink"
What makes this cubicle of poos
Bring out so many loathsome views?
And finally ends my frustration
Done now is my defecation
I reach to wipe, but curse my soul!
I touch naught but an empty roll.







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Tiger Ryno
USA Fan
Member since Feb 2007
55785 posts

re: How about a good old fashion Crap House Poetry Thread?


you have redeemed your self





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SouthOfSouth
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South of I-10 till I die
Member since Jun 2008
34419 posts

re: How about a good old fashion Crap House Poetry Thread?


quote:

Here I squat, inside this stall
Surrounded by 4 piss-stained walls
Umpteen racial slurs abound
Upon these surfaces are found
Among the carvings, caked with grime
"call 581-... For a good time"
It seems as if "Kilroy was here"
And "Marty Gauch is a big queer"
The Ku Klux Klan here too has been
Crossed out, and then scratched in again
I spy now a crude set of tits
As fervently I try to shite
On every side is writ in ink
"nazis rule" then "nazis stink"
What makes this cubicle of poos
Bring out so many loathsome views?
And finally ends my frustration
Done now is my defecation
I reach to wipe, but curse my soul!
I touch naught but an empty roll.


Find a publisher before I do.






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fr33manator
LSU Fan
Baton Rouge
Member since Oct 2010
52351 posts

re: How about a good old fashion Crap House Poetry Thread?


quote:

Find a publisher before I do.

who's gonna publish that? Shithouse Press?






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Tiger Ryno
USA Fan
Member since Feb 2007
55785 posts

re: How about a good old fashion Crap House Poetry Thread?


its an emerging genre





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fr33manator
LSU Fan
Baton Rouge
Member since Oct 2010
52351 posts

re: How about a good old fashion Crap House Poetry Thread?


Still in the fecal position?





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fr33manator
LSU Fan
Baton Rouge
Member since Oct 2010
52351 posts

re: How about a good old fashion Crap House Poetry Thread?


"Pain of Throne"

Upon the porcelain throne I sit,
The king of all I see
For suddenly, I had to shit
Though I just came to pee
So violent was the onset
I scarcely had the time
To yank my trousers down, else
They be stained with fecal slime
The filth coursed out my body
Out slipped a feeble yell
My face was then contorted
As my nostrils sniffed the smell
I sat there sweating, straining
In that torrid, tiled hell
I should have went to Burger King
But I chose Taco Bell






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LSUBrad5277
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North Louisiana
Member since Jan 2011
12626 posts

re: How about a good old fashion Crap House Poetry Thread?








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SouthOfSouth
LSU Fan
South of I-10 till I die
Member since Jun 2008
34419 posts

re: How about a good old fashion Crap House Poetry Thread?


You are on a roll!!!!

I may have to try...






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LSUAlum2001
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Tier BP
Member since Aug 2003
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re: How about a good old fashion Crap House Poetry Thread?



Sitting
Shitting
Wiping
Flushing
Exiting



This post was edited on 6/20 at 1:31 pm


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fr33manator
LSU Fan
Baton Rouge
Member since Oct 2010
52351 posts

re: How about a good old fashion Crap House Poetry Thread?


"Steve the Germaphobe"

Sickly Steve abhorred the public restroom with a passion
He never used the restrooms at the places he spent cash in
He waited till he arrived home to do his dirty doody
The germs that lurked in public johns would never touch his booty
Until one day in Mickey D's his bowels they let loose
The choice was clear, soil his pants, or public toilet use
He carefully but quickly laid the paper cover down
He shuddered as he dropped off to that Super Bowl, the Browns
Yet clean and clear, he made it through, his public restroom caper.
Until his finger slipped right through, that one-ply toilet paper.






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SouthOfSouth
LSU Fan
South of I-10 till I die
Member since Jun 2008
34419 posts

re: How about a good old fashion Crap House Poetry Thread?


"The Tainted Taint"
by: SouthofSouth

I laid upon my bed, Bogies just hours before.
My stomach turned and twisted, jaw dropped to the floor.
A panic came upon me, as I knew my fate to be.
A courtest flush I said, not one or two but three.

The bathroom seemed so far away, an abyss visited by few.
The royal spot of John, was where I would store my poo.
Retreat was not an option, the battle already raging.
While my taint had no clue of what to come, my stomache's plan was staging.

My journey begun with the throne in sight, the calm before the storm.
Before my arse had a clue, the battle began to form.
It rained down from heaven like an exodus plague, not suitable for any eyes.
It splashed and it sputtered, a noise it did mutter, as it hit against my thighs.

No courtesy flush could fix this problem, Only time like at Chernobyl.
As the smell of gas filled the room, even death seemed so noble.
The splatter had made the taint so tainted, the battle had been lost.
The worst part about this event, is now my salad can't be tossed.



This post was edited on 6/20 at 2:13 pm


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TigerMike58
LSU Fan
Houston, TX
Member since Aug 2010
593 posts

re: How about a good old fashion Crap House Poetry Thread?


I found this one in a Port-O-Let on a chemical plant construction site during a Brown & Root turnaround in 1981. I've committed it to memory all these years. I have no clue why someone would spend that much time in such a place in the middle of the summer. I spent a couple of days of piss breaks writing it down a verse at a time!

The dogs had a meeting
They came from near and far
Some came in trucks
Some came in cars.

Before they were seated
Or could even take a look
They had to hang their a-holes
Upon a silver hook.

There they were seated
Brother, sister, & sire
'Til some son of a bitch
Stood up and yelled "Fire!"

And they all ran out
Without even taking a look
Just grabbed any ol' a-hole
From off a silver hook.

And that's why 'til this day
A dog will leave his bone
To go smell some other dog's a-hole
To see if its his own.











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fr33manator
LSU Fan
Baton Rouge
Member since Oct 2010
52351 posts

re: How about a good old fashion Crap House Poetry Thread?


Bathroom walls truly are a treasure trove of bawdy humor.








And swastikas. Mostly swastikas






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Pumpkins
LSU Fan
Baton Rouge
Member since Oct 2010
11448 posts

re: How about a good old fashion Crap House Poetry Thread?


Worst thread ever





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fr33manator
LSU Fan
Baton Rouge
Member since Oct 2010
52351 posts

re: How about a good old fashion Crap House Poetry Thread?


Women just don't seem to get toilet humour.



What is scrawled on y'all's restroom walls?






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Pumpkins
LSU Fan
Baton Rouge
Member since Oct 2010
11448 posts

re: How about a good old fashion Crap House Poetry Thread?


Not much...





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