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Zach 
LSU Fan
Member since May 2005
55377 posts
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| IT'S SATURDAY!!! (Posted on 4/7/12 at 2:29 pm)
Cover story is a husband-wife teacher couple from Haughton busted for offering 90 bucks for a 3-way sex romp. And Bossier Parish is trying to increase starting teacher pay from 40K to 52K with a new set of property tax increases. I'm voting NO.
First/Middle Names:
Darrachelle .. a guy
Salarrius ... Roman for 'not paid by the hour.'
Ashma .. has trouble breathing.
Urquijevelia ... worth a lot in Scrabble.
Narendrakumas ... old guy who predicted stuff.
Ciketra .. bugs that appear every 7 years.
Savoskey.. burglar. Saw a coach and fell asleep. Easy to catch.
Dazerian .. purse snatcher without a car. Cops saw him walking with a purse. Easy to catch.
Lashominqueika .. cat on the keyboard.
Treveia ... facts that are not important.
Zuqalia .. this is a flowering bush.
Zambie .. this was Cheetah's 2nd child.
Bison .. hope the accent is on the 2nd syllable.
Mishaylin .. they make tires.
Thierry ... An idea.
Domegious .. Botanical term for flowers that do best in a dome.
How white trash have fun:
Chayenne .. Rammed her car into her boyfriend. He rolled over the hood, the windshield and to the roof where he held on till she stopped and he fell off. She said "It was a joke."
Most appropriate name for crime:
Jason Booze ... DUI
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Fearthehat0307
LSU Fan
Baton Rouge, LA
Member since Dec 2007
31589 posts
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| re: IT'S SATURDAY!!! (Posted on 4/7/12 at 2:40 pm to Zach)
quote:
a 3-way sex romp
3 way romps are only attractive if the other 2 parties are of the opposite gender. this is a bad plan
This post was edited on 4/7 at 3:29 pm
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ottothewise
LSU Fan
Member since Sep 2008
32094 posts
| re: IT'S SATURDAY!!! (Posted on 4/7/12 at 2:47 pm to Zach)
quote:
Cover story is a husband-wife teacher couple from Haughton busted for offering 90 bucks for a 3-way sex romp. And Bossier Parish is trying to increase starting teacher pay from 40K to 52K with a new set of property tax increases. I'm voting NO.
you voting that way because you are jealous?
This post was edited on 4/7 at 2:48 pm
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JLSIX 
New Orleans Saints Fan
New Orleans, LA
Member since Apr 2010
15369 posts
| re: IT'S SATURDAY!!! (Posted on 4/7/12 at 2:55 pm to Zach)
quote:
Salarrius ... Roman for 'not paid by the hour.'
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Zach
LSU Fan
Member since May 2005
55377 posts
Online
| re: IT'S SATURDAY!!! (Posted on 4/7/12 at 3:06 pm to ottothewise)
quote:
you voting that way because you are jealous?
Uh, you wouldn't want to see the pics of this couple. Old, fat, white and stupid. They don't need a 12K raise at my expense.
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beachdude
LSU Fan
Baton Rouge
Member since Nov 2008
1082 posts
| re: IT'S SATURDAY!!! (Posted on 4/7/12 at 4:25 pm to Zach)
I thought about writing some clever attempt at a story involving the Domegious Zuqualias having bloomed so well this Spring. However, I looked long at hard at Urquijevelia and Narendrakumas and stopped myself. Although I and everyone else on this board enjoy your weekly efforts, please tell me what in the hell is going on in Caddo Parish. I have never seen an assortment of names reported weekly over and over again from one geographic region that are so hopelessly strange. Also, there do seem to be an inordinate number of Roman generals. Thanks.
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Zach
LSU Fan
Member since May 2005
55377 posts
Online
| re: IT'S SATURDAY!!! (Posted on 4/7/12 at 4:43 pm to beachdude)
The major two divisions of Caddo Parish criminals are blacks from Shreveport and whites from north Caddo. Think Oil City and Blanchard.
The whites live in mobile homes and usually beat each other up. The woman is really fat and eats cookies all day. The man is really skinny and drinks all day. Their kids are slope headed morons. But their names aren't that weird. Mostly Colt, Chance, Cody for males. Females are Chassity, Chastiy, Chadity, and Shadity.
The blacks live on MLK, Cedar Grove and Lakeshore. They wait for the mailman for the welfare check. They do their banking at the Thrifty Liquor. At night, they shoot each other because 'ya gotta take care yo bidness.'
Bossier has very little crime. It's across the river and a different parish so even though Shreveport has been trying to consolidate to retrieve tax money, they can't do it.
The most common names are not Roman Generals. I've stopped recording versions of "Cord" because it's too common. At least five Cords are arrested every week. Some versions:
Kord
Kordus
Kordarious
Cordian
Cordus
Le'Cord
TreKord
I have no idea why this occurs. My only theory was that when Mom came off the drugs at birth she heard the doctor say "OK, Let's cut the umbilical cord now." And she thought it sounded nice.
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beachdude
LSU Fan
Baton Rouge
Member since Nov 2008
1082 posts
| re: IT'S SATURDAY!!! (Posted on 4/7/12 at 4:49 pm to Zach)
Yes. But...Urquijevelia?? Who names anything that? It will never be spelled correctly twice.
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Zach
LSU Fan
Member since May 2005
55377 posts
Online
| re: IT'S SATURDAY!!! (Posted on 4/7/12 at 4:58 pm to beachdude)
quote:
Yes. But...Urquijevelia?? Who names anything that? It will never be spelled correctly twice.
Several theories on this one:
1. Cat on the keyboard randomness.
2. Ur = You're. U..qui.e = Almost "unique" which is very popular... Thus, "You're Unique."
3. "Jevelia"... I think this was a really bad small car made by Chevy.
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MississippiLSUfan
LSU Fan
Brookhaven
Member since Oct 2005
9622 posts
Online
| re: IT'S SATURDAY!!! (Posted on 4/7/12 at 6:32 pm to Zach)
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beachdude
LSU Fan
Baton Rouge
Member since Nov 2008
1082 posts
| re: IT'S SATURDAY!!! (Posted on 4/7/12 at 9:34 pm to Zach)
I will buy into the Unique theory. Once dealt with a plaintiff from up there named Uneeka Lashaday.
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