You know, Blue Moon Ale didn't always have a fricking orange slice in it.

That's right. Years ago, Blue Moon's visionary CEO noticed that his shitty fricking beer was being served with lemons as garnishment. Rightly so, he completely lost his shite. His fricking beer was designed to be complimented, not by fricking lemons, but by oranges.

As a result, he went on a coast to coast odyssey, traveling from bar to bar, interrupting the busy days of countless bartenders and instructing them as to the finer points of putting a fricking orange slice on the edge of beer glasses. It seems pretty fricking trivial, I know, but something so vital and essential was just too fricking important not to micromanage.

Sure, many of his contracts were canceled by annoyed bar owners, and more than a few bar cooks jacked off onto his grilled chicken sandwiches, but it was a price worth paying for proper beer garnishment. As a result, thousands of overworked bartenders now know the proper technique for cutting a little fricking slit in an orange slice and sticking it on the edge of a beer glass.

Thank you, Blue Moon Ale CEO guy. You are a great American.