re: What would you do? Burglary edition

Ask him politely if he thinks that he could outrun a pit bull, smile, and tell him that you'll be right back to find out.

this exact thing happened to me about 3 or 4 years ago.

early morning hours, in my backyard, wearing my drawers and an under shirt (wife-beater) with a cup of coffee in my hand.

i had been cleaning out the storage shed the day before and my daughter's (no pics) bikes were still outside. i was in the kitchen and thought i saw something in the back yard. i didn't even think to grab a gun and i went out side and saw a young guy (late teen/early twenties) walking between my vehicles with a bike.

i was fricking livid! i stopped him and asked him what the frick he thought he was doing in my yard. he stood there, scared as shite just stuttering. i briefly explained to him the laws of physics and ballistics through clenched teeth. i told him i was going to get my gun out of the truck but i'd give him a head start. i said something along the lines of:

"you see that street light down the road? That's the limit of my accuracy with a handgun, you got 15 seconds to make it that far or I WILL frickING KILL YOU."

true story

I would take a sip my coffee and look down at my ever faithful canine companion, knowing that he was looking up at me and waiting for that nod of approval....which of course I would give....and then see just how fast the guy could run