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"What is the laziest thing you've ever done"

Posted on 7/21/15 at 8:32 pm
Posted by bhtigerfan
Baton Rouge
Member since Sep 2008
29483 posts
Posted on 7/21/15 at 8:32 pm
Stumbled across this on Reddit, some are genius.
quote:

I have a dog and a cat, and I HATE sleeping with the door open. Sometimes dog wants to sleep in the bedroom, sometimes dog wants to sleep outside the bedroom. But he never decides until I'm comfy in bed. Solution? Keep a laser pointer on my nightstand. Once dog decides where he's sleeping, I'll shine the laser pointer on the door so that my cat paws it closed. It has now become a routine that my cat will wait by the door for the laser before laying down.
quote:

was laying in bed with the light on and wanted to go to sleep with it off. i called my house from my cell phone and asked for myself in a disguised voice. when my mom came in to bring me the phone i asked her to turn the light out when she left. hung up both phones and went to sleep
quote:

I was once on a US military ship, having breakfast in the wardroom (officers lounge) when the Operations Officer (OPS) walks in. This guy was the definition of NOT a morning person; he's still half asleep, bleary eyed... basically a zombie with a bagel. He sits down across from me to eat his bagel and is just barely conscious. My back is to the outboard side of the ship, and the morning sun is blazing in one of the portholes putting a big bright-arse circle of light right on his barely conscious face. He's squinting and chewing and basically just remembering how to be alive for today. It's painful to watch.

But then zombie-OPS stops chewing, slowly picks up the phone, and dials the bridge. In his well-known I'm-still-totally-asleep voice, he says "heeeey. It's OPS. Could you... shift our barpat... yeah, one six five. Thanks." And puts the phone down. And then he just sits there. Squinting. Waiting.

And then, ever so slowly, I realize that that big blazing spot of sun has begun to slide off the zombie's face and onto the wall behind him. After a moment it clears his face and he blinks slowly a few times and the brilliant beauty of what I've just witnessed begins to overwhelm me. By ordering the bridge to adjust the ship's back-and-forth patrol by about 15 degrees, he's changed our course just enough to reposition the sun off of his face. He's literally just redirected thousands of tons of steel and hundreds of people so that he could get the sun out of his eyes while he eats his bagel. I am in awe.

He slowly picks up his bagel and for a moment I'm terrified at the thought that his own genius may escape him, that he may never appreciate the epic brilliance of his laziness (since he's not going to wake up for another hour). But between his next bites he pauses, looks at me, and gives me the faintest, sly grin, before returning to gnaw slowly on his zombie bagel.


quote:

I once watched 2 hours of antique roadshow because the cat jumped up in front of the tv sensor as I was flicking through channels and fell asleep.
quote:

I was drunk one night and decided the bathroom was to far away. So I pissed in my cats litter box. Didn't feel like cleaning it up in the morning so I just threw the whole litter box in the garbage.
quote:

I didn't want to get up to get scissors to open a package I had, so I grabbed the cat and used his claws. It was soft plastic and the cat was indifferent.
quote:

I ran out of clean bowls for cereal. So I lined the bowls with foil, over the old food and made a bowl of cereal. After that I threw away the foil and did it again the next day.


LINK
This post was edited on 7/21/15 at 8:36 pm
Posted by HailHailtoMichigan!
Mission Viejo, CA
Member since Mar 2012
69308 posts
Posted on 7/21/15 at 8:34 pm to
Occasionally I don't feel like wiping
Posted by soccerfüt
Location: A Series of Tubes
Member since May 2013
65714 posts
Posted on 7/21/15 at 8:34 pm to
tl/dr
Posted by LSUTANGERINE
Baton Rouge LA
Member since Sep 2006
36113 posts
Posted on 7/21/15 at 8:34 pm to
nothing
Posted by Pettifogger
Capitol Hill Autonomous Zone
Member since Feb 2012
79235 posts
Posted on 7/21/15 at 8:36 pm to
I think someone on here had a story of sitting around all day waiting until it was noon/midnight to reset one of his clocks after a power outage some days later.
Posted by fr33manator
Baton Rouge
Member since Oct 2010
124288 posts
Posted on 7/21/15 at 8:36 pm to
I haven't done laundry in months. I just pick the one that smells the least and wear it.


Today I wore a baggy t-shirt as a pair of shorts and cut a hole in a bedsheet to wear as a moo-moo.


Can't say it's not comfy.
Posted by Chad504boy
4 posts
Member since Feb 2005
166322 posts
Posted on 7/21/15 at 8:37 pm to
Ops guy was funny
Posted by Birdie King
Houston, TX
Member since Feb 2013
8065 posts
Posted on 7/21/15 at 8:39 pm to
quote:

I was drunk one night and decided the bathroom was to far away. So I pissed in my cats litter box. Didn't feel like cleaning it up in the morning so I just threw the whole litter box in the garbage.


this is greatness
Posted by OMLandshark
Member since Apr 2009
108557 posts
Posted on 7/21/15 at 8:39 pm to
quote:

Occasionally I don't feel like wiping



I don't feel like lifting my arse off the seat occasionally and wipe from the back forward.
This post was edited on 7/21/15 at 8:41 pm
Posted by motorbreath
New Orleans Saints fan
Member since Jun 2004
6381 posts
Posted on 7/21/15 at 8:40 pm to
In high school I was supposed to do a research paper. I kept procrastinating and finally said frick it. I didn't do it. Failed sophomore English and had to make up the class in summer school.
Posted by Scruffy
Kansas City
Member since Jul 2011
72129 posts
Posted on 7/21/15 at 8:42 pm to
Last night, I wanted to watch a movie. I decided to watch a movie that I own. While laying on the couch, within arms reach of the movie, I decided it was much easier just to pay $3 to rent the movie through my smart tv than it would be to get up and put the movie in my DVD player.
Posted by lsu480
Downtown Scottsdale
Member since Oct 2007
92876 posts
Posted on 7/21/15 at 8:42 pm to
Didn't go out and vote against Obama in 2008
Posted by WG_Dawg
Hoover
Member since Jun 2004
86500 posts
Posted on 7/21/15 at 8:43 pm to
This technically doesn't qualify as "lazy" I guess, but I read some story on a board once (probably reddit) of someone who hated vacuuming. Their parents made them vacuum, and they were so opposed to it that when their parents were gone they took the vacuum and simply ran it across the floor so it would give the appearance of vacuum tracks.
Posted by Carson123987
Middle Court at the Rec
Member since Jul 2011
66436 posts
Posted on 7/21/15 at 8:43 pm to
terd postd this last time we had this thread

quote:

The other night I was laying in bed about to fall asleep and I realized that I wasn't really that comfortable. I started thinking about how I'd probably be more comfortable if I rolled over to my other side... but then I just didn't feel like doing it.

I probably sat there for 3 or 4 minutes contemplating on whether or not I should adjust myself or just try to fall asleep how I was.\





quote:

was laying in bed with the light on and wanted to go to sleep with it off. i called my house from my cell phone and asked for myself in a disguised voice. when my mom came in to bring me the phone i asked her to turn the light out when she left. hung up both phones and went to sleep


Posted by Navytiger74
Member since Oct 2009
50458 posts
Posted on 7/21/15 at 8:44 pm to
quote:

think someone on here had a story of sitting around all day waiting until it was noon/midnight to reset one of his clocks after a power outage some days later.


That's hardcore.

Posted by Carson123987
Middle Court at the Rec
Member since Jul 2011
66436 posts
Posted on 7/21/15 at 8:44 pm to
quote:

This technically doesn't qualify as "lazy" I guess, but I read some story on a board once (probably reddit) of someone who hated vacuuming. Their parents made them vacuum, and they were so opposed to it that when their parents were gone they took the vacuum and simply ran it across the floor so it would give the appearance of vacuum tracks.


Posted by Henry Jones Jr
Member since Jun 2011
68513 posts
Posted on 7/21/15 at 8:45 pm to
When I was a kid, I had a stomach virus. Woke up one night and felt like I had to throw up. I didn't feel like getting up so I just rolled over and puked on the carpet floor.
This post was edited on 7/21/15 at 8:55 pm
Posted by WG_Dawg
Hoover
Member since Jun 2004
86500 posts
Posted on 7/21/15 at 8:45 pm to
quote:

Scruffy


quote:

O-T Lounge


quote:

I wanted to watch a movie


quote:

I decided


quote:

I own


quote:

I decided


quote:

my smart tv


quote:

my DVD player.




I know it's more of a general guideline than a rule....but come on man.
Posted by Grouper Picatta
Sarasota,FL
Member since Mar 2013
1590 posts
Posted on 7/21/15 at 8:46 pm to
quote:

quote: I was drunk one night and decided the bathroom was to far away. So I pissed in my cats litter box. Didn't feel like cleaning it up in the morning so I just threw the whole litter box in the garbage.



Lol. I've pissed in my shoes so I wouldn't have to walk to the bathroom.
Posted by Scruffy
Kansas City
Member since Jul 2011
72129 posts
Posted on 7/21/15 at 8:47 pm to
Was too lazy to spell out Scruffy. "I" is only one letter, "my" is two.
This post was edited on 7/21/15 at 8:48 pm
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