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Started By
Message
The *worst* Christmas Song you’ve probably never heard.
Posted on 12/24/23 at 10:05 am
Posted on 12/24/23 at 10:05 am
Linda Bennett - An Old Fashioned Christmas (Daddy’s Home)
There are several candidates for the “worst Christmas song of all time” but this one no doubt wins. Even Dominick the Donkey is easy on the ears after a listen of this 70s Yuletide tune.
In 1975 Linda Bennett recorded An Old Fashioned Christmas with the idea of throwing a little drama into what was (up to then) the ‘same old’ sound of Christmas tunes.
Here’s the breakdown:
We open with sounds heard over the radio of Silent Night warming the souls of a woman and her children sitting by the fire, waiting for daddy to come home from work.
Now up to this point, if you were to tell me this is just another wholesome song for the Birth of Jesus, I’d be inclined to forgive you. However…
Just as the radio switches to Jingle Bells the news announcer (intro’d by a blaring alarm and dramatic music cuts in…
Uh oh. Foreshadowing. Mother enters the first stage of depression by immediately showcasing denial.
The First Noel begins to play over the radio.
Just as the children are beginning to put their little hearts at ease…another announcement!
Holy shite! What a twist! Mother and the children, without skipping a beat, turn immediately to resignation.
Suddenly, a ring of the doorbell…
So daddy makes it. But let’s not even mention the other families that will not have loved ones coming home for Christmas because the number 5 bus slipped on some ice.
Hurry up and get this Christmas gem in your iTunes/Spotify playlist! Play it for your wife, your children, and your family to enjoy.
Merry Christmas you filthy animals.
There are several candidates for the “worst Christmas song of all time” but this one no doubt wins. Even Dominick the Donkey is easy on the ears after a listen of this 70s Yuletide tune.
In 1975 Linda Bennett recorded An Old Fashioned Christmas with the idea of throwing a little drama into what was (up to then) the ‘same old’ sound of Christmas tunes.
Here’s the breakdown:
We open with sounds heard over the radio of Silent Night warming the souls of a woman and her children sitting by the fire, waiting for daddy to come home from work.
quote:
(Silent Night in background)
[News Reporter]
This is your music, news and weather station
Bringing you the best in Christmas music
On this beautiful Christmas Eve
[Mom]
Look outside, the snow is falling, what a sight to see
Daddy will be coming home, as happy as can be.
He'll be walkin' through the door at ten minutes after nine
'Cause the bus he takes each night is always right on time
[Chorus]
It's gonna be a very merry Christmas
With all the children by the Christmas tree
It's gonna be a real old fashioned Christmas
For my children, their daddy, and me
Now up to this point, if you were to tell me this is just another wholesome song for the Birth of Jesus, I’d be inclined to forgive you. However…
Just as the radio switches to Jingle Bells the news announcer (intro’d by a blaring alarm and dramatic music cuts in…
quote:
[News Reporter]
We're sorry to interrupt this program, but a bull?tin has just been handed me
There's been a serious accident involving the number five bus out of New Haven
The only information we have is that the bus skidded on a patch of ice and slammed into a tree
Stay tuned to this station for further details
Uh oh. Foreshadowing. Mother enters the first stage of depression by immediately showcasing denial.
quote:
[Son]
Mommy isn't that the bus Daddy rides each night?
[Mother]
Put your mind at ease my children, everything's all right
Everyone don't get excited, things will be okay
Nothing bad is gonna happen on this Christmas Day
[Chorus]
It's gonna be a very merry Christmas
With all the children by the Christmas tree
It's gonna be a real old fashioned Christmas
For my children, their daddy, and me
The First Noel begins to play over the radio.
Just as the children are beginning to put their little hearts at ease…another announcement!
quote:
[News Reporter]
Ladies and gentlemen, I've just been handed the latest report involving bus number five out of New Haven
And from all indications we're sorry to report that there were no survivors
Holy shite! What a twist! Mother and the children, without skipping a beat, turn immediately to resignation.
quote:
[Mom]
Oh my god this just can't happen what am I to do?
What have I got left in life to look forward to?
[Daughter]
Who will walk me down the aisle on my wedding day?
[Son]
Who is gonna buy me toys and take me out to play?
Suddenly, a ring of the doorbell…
quote:
[Children]
DADDY! DADDY!
[Dad]
Merry Christmas everybody
I know it's late and i missed my bus.
Well don't just stand there! Help me with these presents!
[Chorus]
It's gonna be a very merry Christmas
With all the children by the Christmas tree
It's gonna be a real old fashioned Christmas
For my children, their daddy, and me
[Son]
Merry Christmas Daddy
So daddy makes it. But let’s not even mention the other families that will not have loved ones coming home for Christmas because the number 5 bus slipped on some ice.
Hurry up and get this Christmas gem in your iTunes/Spotify playlist! Play it for your wife, your children, and your family to enjoy.
Merry Christmas you filthy animals.
13
Posted on 12/24/23 at 10:10 am to 0x15E
Christmas shoes
Posted on 12/24/23 at 10:15 am to 0x15E
Ariana Grande's rendition of Last Christmas.
Posted on 12/24/23 at 10:19 am to 0x15E
quote:
The *worst* Christmas Song you’ve probably never heard.
Christmas Shoes.
/thread.
Posted on 12/24/23 at 10:22 am to 0x15E
Wish I had never heard the song The twelve days of Christmas. It's the absolute worse song ever.
Posted on 12/24/23 at 10:36 am to 0x15E
Wonderful Christmas time by Paul McCartney
Posted on 12/24/23 at 10:37 am to OK Roughneck
quote:
Wish I had never heard the song The twelve days of Christmas. It's the absolute worse song ever.
Not unless there is a version with Yoko Ono singing backup vocals I don't know about.
Posted on 12/24/23 at 10:49 am to 88Wildcat
I don’t like Little Drummer Boy…
Posted on 12/24/23 at 10:52 am to poochie
quote:
Christmas shoes
Summary:
A filthy Child abandons his dying mother on Christmas, sent by his father out into the night to beg strangers to purchase something that she will never use under the pretense that their loving God might reject her soul for ugly footwear.
This post was edited on 12/24/23 at 3:07 pm
Posted on 12/24/23 at 10:57 am to fr33manator
I stopped listening to 101.9 during Christmas bc the Grinch is almost every other song. The Grinch is like an eel, we get it.
Posted on 12/24/23 at 10:58 am to fr33manator
quote:
Summary:
A filthy Child abandons his dying mother on Christmas, sent by his father out into the night to beg strangers to purchase something that she will never use under the pretense that their loving God might reject her soul for ugly footwear.
That's fricken hilarious.
Posted on 12/24/23 at 11:28 am to Joehat
quote:
I stopped listening to 101.9 during Christmas bc the Grinch is almost every other song. The Grinch is like an eel, we get it.
I mean, no wonder the Grinch is pissed at Christmas.
They constantly play a song about how fricking awful he is.
I wonder what the rejected verses were like
you're a a blackguard, Mr. Grinch,
You have, a lumpy butt,
You're the bastard spawn of swamp thing and your mother guzzles nut, Mr. Griiiiinch,
The three words to describe her are as follows,
SIX! BUCK! SLUUUUUUUT!
You're a gross one, Mr. Grinch
You smell, like toe-nail cheese,
Your junks full of pussy pimples and venereal disease, Mr. Griiiiiinch,
Your anus is prolapsed,
And you and your dog have fleas!!!!
I mean, I'd be pissed too
This post was edited on 12/24/23 at 11:39 am
Posted on 12/24/23 at 11:34 am to 0x15E
The Little Drummer Boy makes me wanna break things.
It's just plain stupid. There is no way a Jewish mother, even one as young as Mary, is gonna let some little brat anywhere near her baby with a damn drum.
It's just plain stupid. There is no way a Jewish mother, even one as young as Mary, is gonna let some little brat anywhere near her baby with a damn drum.
Posted on 12/24/23 at 11:38 am to Roll Tide Ravens
quote:I'd never heard of this but I actually laughed a few times during it. So corny and cheesy it's funny. Can't be the worst.
Christmas Shoes
Posted on 12/24/23 at 11:40 am to 0x15E
Big Freedia - Rudy The Big Booty Rendeer
Posted on 12/24/23 at 11:41 am to vl100butch
quote:
I don’t like Little Drummer Boy…
Back in 2005, I was working in that big St. Louis Mills mall outside of St Louis, and they had big screens all over the mall with Christmas songs/videos. One of the videos was RuPaul singing Little Drummer Boy.
I pointed it out to the mall manager and she changed the DVD.
CSB , but that probably wouldnt happen like that today.
Posted on 12/24/23 at 11:43 am to Jake88
Please Daddy Don't Get Drunk This Christmas by John Denver.
The absolute worst.
The absolute worst.
Posted on 12/24/23 at 11:46 am to 0x15E
Christmas in Dixie
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