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re: the most embarrassed you’ve ever been

Posted on 3/22/18 at 8:00 pm to
Posted by GreatLakesTiger24
One State Solution
Member since May 2012
55729 posts
Posted on 3/22/18 at 8:00 pm to
quote:

I pull up her Facebook a few days later out of curiosity and realize that shuffling through her pics, I was accidentally liking every picture. I had cycled through almost a hundred pictures. She was likely getting an alert, one by one, as I was “liking” her pics. Including several year old bikini pictures.
nightmare material
Posted by CrimsonTideMD
Member since Dec 2010
6925 posts
Posted on 3/22/18 at 8:35 pm to
My grandmother picked me and 2 brothers up from elementary school one afternoon.

All 3 of us piled into the back seat, and within 2 minutes it was a royal rumble, all 3 of fighting.

She starting yelling at us and slapping at us.

I thought I’d learned a new vocabulary word, and it seemed like the perfect situation to use it.

So I yelled back at her in the front seat, “Gah, Meemaw, you’re always so HORNY!!!”

She swerved into oncoming traffic, narrowly missing a head on collision, and skidded off into the grass. She jumped out of the car, ripped the back door open and screamed at me “what did you say!?!?!”

And I repeated it. Again. With determination...

Apparently the word I was looking for was ORNERY

















30 something years later, still can’t hear the word “horny” without cringing
Posted by Ed Osteen
Member since Oct 2007
57502 posts
Posted on 3/22/18 at 8:37 pm to
quote:

nightmare material


Just learn from my mistakes, use a laptop or be extremely carefully when swiping.
Posted by Iron Lion
Sipsey
Member since Nov 2014
11817 posts
Posted on 3/22/18 at 8:38 pm to
In 7th grade I got pantsed in front of the whole school during an assembly.
Posted by JackieTreehorn
Malibu
Member since Sep 2013
29122 posts
Posted on 3/22/18 at 9:01 pm to
I sharted in Pat O’s and had to go to the bathroom in the piano bar and toss my underwear away. Then noticed the shite had gone through my shorts.
Posted by Carson123987
Middle Court at the Rec
Member since Jul 2011
66448 posts
Posted on 3/22/18 at 9:05 pm to
quote:

She was likely getting an alert, one by one, as I was “liking” her pics. Including several year old bikini pictures.


this is just brilliant storytelling flair. take notes, boys
Posted by GEAUXT
Member since Nov 2007
29257 posts
Posted on 3/22/18 at 9:09 pm to
quote:

That’s really all you had to say


Posted by Tortious
ATX
Member since Nov 2010
5141 posts
Posted on 3/22/18 at 9:13 pm to
Got caught jacking off on my couch by my uncle when I was about 17. He randomly stopped by and used to just walk in. I tried to play it off like I had a rash and was just scratching it. Even tried to show him the "rash".
Posted by soccerfüt
Location: A Series of Tubes
Member since May 2013
65765 posts
Posted on 3/22/18 at 9:18 pm to
quote:

“Gah, Meemaw, you’re always so HORNY!!!”
quote:

CrimsonTideMD
Checks Out
Posted by nickrolled
Member since Sep 2016
54 posts
Posted on 3/22/18 at 10:23 pm to
quote:

I tried to play it off like I had a rash and was just scratching it.


smh
Posted by Klingler7
Houston
Member since Nov 2009
11997 posts
Posted on 3/22/18 at 10:24 pm to
I was in my dorm masturbating and my roommate came in through the sliding door. I ran to the bathroom with my pants around my ankles . He was a temporary stay ELS student from Japan .
Posted by go_tigres
Member since Sep 2013
5162 posts
Posted on 3/22/18 at 11:55 pm to
I was 24, married, and had a baby on the way. Went with my wife to Motherhood, a maternity store. Aside from us, there was only the salesgal there. My wife picked out a few things and headed off to the back to try everything on. The salesgal is on a ladder fixing a display and I notice she's on the plump side. In my mind 2+2=4, she's plump, working at a maternity store. In an effort to drum up conversation, I ask her when she's due...she looks down at me glaringly and clearly and loudly says, "I'm not". I replied, "oh" and left the store.
Posted by Reservoir dawg
Member since Oct 2013
14111 posts
Posted on 3/22/18 at 11:59 pm to
quote:

one time i was invited to a baby shower... i didn’t know these were rich folk in bossier city... i was terribly under dressed and out of place

my gift was a $10 McDonald’s gift card that said “baby’s first happy meal”

they opened it in front of the entire party


The fact that you brought a McD's gift card and was genuine about it should have been widely applauded, that's ingenious humor.
Posted by go_tigres
Member since Sep 2013
5162 posts
Posted on 3/23/18 at 12:03 am to
Another, I used to own a landscaping company in my early 20's and did all the new installations at Burger Kings. I was installing a back-flow preventer on an irrigation system at a new store in Westwego. This thing was on the heavier side and it was going in a trench about 2 1/2-3' deep, but only 8" wide. So, I'm on the hwy side of the building on my knees bent over into this small hole and I'm having the hardest time getting the pvc pipe into the coupling but I've already primed/glued it so no turning back. I lean further in to get a better hold and my pants split. I'm 3' down in this damn hole with my arse on full display to prime time westwego traffic and all the construction baws on the job. Took a while to live that one down.
Posted by SirRohantheDefender
Member since Aug 2005
14788 posts
Posted on 3/23/18 at 12:26 am to
Solid thread.

OP delivered with the McD's card story.

But boy I cringed so hard at the fighting back tears when introducing himself story.
Posted by Capital Cajun
Over Yonder
Member since Aug 2007
5525 posts
Posted on 3/23/18 at 6:37 am to
quote:

in the wrong section of a worthless Geol class up until mid terms, the fricking grad student "teaching" the class new I was in the wrong section,


They actually let you into college?
Posted by celltech1981
Member since Jul 2014
8139 posts
Posted on 3/23/18 at 6:46 am to
Met this girl at a party. A couple of nights later went to her house to smash. I smoked a little so I was feeling very relaxed. I was eating her out and let out a shart that got shite all over her bed. She wasn't phased and told me to just stick it in. I finished in like 3 strokes.
Posted by CHEDBALLZ
South Central LA
Member since Dec 2009
21938 posts
Posted on 3/23/18 at 6:59 am to
Back in 92' right after Andrew came through we were up on our roof with 15 year old me, my older brother, my dad and all 5 of his brothers/brother in laws and 6 or 7 of my moms brothers/older nephews. We were ripping off shingles and the mail passes and drops off a package. My mom goes get the mail and said this package is for you. (back then it was pretty big deal to get a package in the mail). I run down the ladder, open it up and its a sample pack of Maxi-Pads. I got teased for that for quite a few years.
Posted by Joecaster06
Salt Lake
Member since Oct 2016
508 posts
Posted on 3/23/18 at 7:11 am to
Late teens/early twenties taking out booty calls. Especially if there was a fine waitress or other date place. Getting a look from the hottie, like, really? Young and dumb days. Not knowing that the booty call is gonna give it up regardless. No date necessary. Code word is come over and watch a movie
Posted by partsman103
Member since Sep 2008
8107 posts
Posted on 3/23/18 at 7:13 am to
the most embarrassed I've ever been was meeting my gf grand parents.
Rode 2 hrs with gf and her parents and was fighting the need to take a dump. By the time we arrived the urge to take a dump had subsided. After some small talk the grand parents decided we're going to the zoo. As we gathered our things the need to take a dump returned in full force. So I excuse myself and go use the restroom. After finishing the deed the DuraFlame log would not flush. It was wedged in there, sticking out above water level and looking straight at me. I panicked. Tried FLUSHING again but it wouldn't budge. Couldn't find anything to break it up and by now everyone was telling me to hurry up. So I decided to leave it and be the 1st one back in the restroom when we returned. I was thinking by then the water will have broken it down somewhat and will flush it away. As I grab my things the grand mother announces she better use the restroom. Did she go to her bathroom? NO!She decided to use the guest bathroom. My face turned red because I knew what was about to happen. All I remember was her closing the door, then hearing the seat hit the back of the tank and her screaming "OH MY GOD!".
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