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OT Women (I guess men too): advice needed - domestic issues (now nsfw)
Posted on 5/13/17 at 2:47 pm
Posted on 5/13/17 at 2:47 pm
Backstory: been on about five dates with this girl. She's really cute and we always have a great time and she always wants to see me again, but it seems like she has kind of a wall up. I feel like I know as much about her after 5 dates as I did after the first one. From a few of the things she's said and hinted at about her ex, plus the only time we saw a movie - it was weird, she said she had seen like every other movie playing, and she wanted to see Colossal. I didn't even know what it was about but was like sure, whatever. the movie was weird as frick but apparently the whole theme is about domestic violence, and she was explaining the metaphors to me throughout the movie - So basically it's become pretty clear that her last boyfriend was a manipulative psycho.
So I guess I feel like she wants to date me but is kinda keeping me at arm's length because she's still kinda fricked up and extremely slow to trust people, so I dont think the relationship is going to go anywhere until we talk about it. 98% of the time this is something you would discuss face to face, but given how introverted she is and how uncomfortable it might be for her, do you think it would be better for me to bring it up by text?
Also, before you guys say "she's crazy get rid of her", this chick is like an OT 7, laid back, has a great sense of humor, smart, and is into star wars and other dorky shite like me. She likes offroading in her lifted jeep, shooting guns, and maintains Blackhawk helicopters for the Air Force. Basically a goddamn unicorn.
here's a pic of someone else for your troubles...
So I guess I feel like she wants to date me but is kinda keeping me at arm's length because she's still kinda fricked up and extremely slow to trust people, so I dont think the relationship is going to go anywhere until we talk about it. 98% of the time this is something you would discuss face to face, but given how introverted she is and how uncomfortable it might be for her, do you think it would be better for me to bring it up by text?
Also, before you guys say "she's crazy get rid of her", this chick is like an OT 7, laid back, has a great sense of humor, smart, and is into star wars and other dorky shite like me. She likes offroading in her lifted jeep, shooting guns, and maintains Blackhawk helicopters for the Air Force. Basically a goddamn unicorn.
here's a pic of someone else for your troubles...
31
Posted on 5/13/17 at 2:49 pm to el duderino III
Is there a chance you're overthinking things? Maybe she's just taking it slow.
Posted on 5/13/17 at 2:50 pm to el duderino III
If she's a unicorn. Hang in there.
Posted on 5/13/17 at 2:51 pm to el duderino III
Pics of jeep.
Posted on 5/13/17 at 2:51 pm to el duderino III
quote:
So I guess I feel like she wants to date me but is kinda keeping me at arm's length because she's still kinda fricked up and extremely slow to trust people
Nope. She wants you to treat her like shite and beat her. They crave that. Keep looking for guys who fit that mold.
Posted on 5/13/17 at 2:52 pm to el duderino III
She's gonna open up to you about it in her own time. Stuff like this needs to be organic, if you force it out there's a much higher chance of it ending badly.
Posted on 5/13/17 at 2:53 pm to el duderino III
If it's likely she was a victim of emotional/verbal/physical abuse, she's probably just taking it slow.
Other than this "wall" issue, is there anything else that seems to be a red flag?
If not, just let come around in her own time.
Other than this "wall" issue, is there anything else that seems to be a red flag?
If not, just let come around in her own time.
Posted on 5/13/17 at 2:54 pm to LZ83
Do yoy feel like the subject needs to be approached now?
I feel like if I were in this situation, I would slow play it. You enjoy being around her, what's the rush to get into a deeper relationship right now? Let her come to you.
I feel like if I were in this situation, I would slow play it. You enjoy being around her, what's the rush to get into a deeper relationship right now? Let her come to you.
Posted on 5/13/17 at 2:56 pm to el duderino III
More pics of brunette
Posted on 5/13/17 at 2:57 pm to el duderino III
Sounds like a tranny to me.
Posted on 5/13/17 at 2:57 pm to el duderino III
quote:
plus the only time we saw a movie
Found your problem. She was expecting the ol' cut a hole in the bottom of your popcorn bucket trick. When you didn't do that she realized you were a beta and started to talk to you about her feelings.
quote:
better for me to bring it up by text?
Beta status confirmed.
Posted on 5/13/17 at 3:00 pm to el duderino III
Absolutely don't do it by text.
Do it face to face for two reasons:
1) a text can't show your caring emotions
2) if it turns out to nothing burger, have some fun
Do it face to face for two reasons:
1) a text can't show your caring emotions
2) if it turns out to nothing burger, have some fun
Posted on 5/13/17 at 3:06 pm to el duderino III
She sounds damaged. I'd hit it as often as you can but stay at arms length. When she starts to become attached run because she sounds like a clinger. Oh and I bet she'll let you PIIHB.
Posted on 5/13/17 at 3:06 pm to el duderino III
Face to face or bust. Also try to find a good time to bring it up, but don't push beyond reason. She needs to open up about it or let it go (which is unlikely), or there will continue to be trust issues.
Additionally, as someone with experience with dating 'projects', expect a potentially tough road if things do progress. Unexpected issues can appear very suddenly with someone who went through that kind of shite.
Additionally, as someone with experience with dating 'projects', expect a potentially tough road if things do progress. Unexpected issues can appear very suddenly with someone who went through that kind of shite.
This post was edited on 5/13/17 at 3:08 pm
Posted on 5/13/17 at 3:06 pm to el duderino III
quote:Give it some time dude. That's not long at all.
been on about five dates with this girl.
It's actually a good thing she's not rushing into things bc it means she's more than likely not a hoe. If she was telling you every thing and screwing you on the first night, then this thread would be asking if she's a hoe and how many other dude's she's done that to.
If you think it has potential to be serious, slower is better, in most cases. Especially if she has had issues with abuse. She wants to be able to trust you.
Posted on 5/13/17 at 3:08 pm to el duderino III
quote:
Also, before you guys say "she's crazy get rid of her", this chick is like an OT 7, laid back, has a great sense of humor, smart, and is into star wars and other dorky shite like me. She likes offroading in her lifted jeep, shooting guns, and maintains Blackhawk helicopters for the Air Force. Basically a goddamn unicorn.
I'm sorry, not possible.
Posted on 5/13/17 at 3:09 pm to el duderino III
She's still sexing the ex every now and then.
Posted on 5/13/17 at 3:09 pm to el duderino III
Don't worry, goldennugget will be here soon to explain everything 
Posted on 5/13/17 at 3:09 pm to el duderino III
I wish I had the ability to psychoanalyze someone after just five meetings
Posted on 5/13/17 at 3:10 pm to TigerFanInSouthland
quote:Seriously. That would basically make her a unicorn.
I'm sorry, not possible.
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