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OT dating Advice for a widower

Posted on 6/14/16 at 1:52 pm
Posted by BlackAdam
Member since Jan 2016
6455 posts
Posted on 6/14/16 at 1:52 pm
My wife of 11 years passed away about a year ago. I think I am ready to start dating again, but had a few questions.


Response/call back times... Should I still wait 24 to 48 hours to call after a date or return a phone call after a date?

Family pictures... when I go out my kids will either be at their grandparent's or an aunt and uncle's house. If I leave the family pictures up (which I intend to) will that be creepy as hell?

Half your age plus 7... If 26 is my lower bound, but I get interest from a 22 yo that's ok right?

Rule of three... Is that still a thing? If they say they go on 4 dates a month does that mean 12?

Hos in different area codes... If they both live in the 225 area code but one has a 504 number would it be allowable to date both?

Any help is appreciated.
Posted by saintsfan1977
West Monroe, from Cajun country
Member since Jun 2010
7709 posts
Posted on 6/14/16 at 1:53 pm to
Backpage
Posted by CaptainsWafer
TD Platinum Member
Member since Feb 2006
58352 posts
Posted on 6/14/16 at 1:53 pm to
No matter what you do, just remember one thing: Don't let your meat loaf.
Posted by SabiDojo
Open to any suggestions.
Member since Nov 2010
83937 posts
Posted on 6/14/16 at 1:53 pm to
I'm sorry for your loss.


Now that is out of the way, dating as a widower is like shooting fish in a barrel with a shotgun.
Posted by The Torch
DFW The Dub
Member since Aug 2014
19300 posts
Posted on 6/14/16 at 1:53 pm to
Tinder
Posted by Cosmo
glassman's guest house
Member since Oct 2003
120288 posts
Posted on 6/14/16 at 1:54 pm to
I have one word for you: Paige
Posted by Breauxsif
Member since May 2012
22290 posts
Posted on 6/14/16 at 1:54 pm to
Hit up Bogies.
Posted by SabiDojo
Open to any suggestions.
Member since Nov 2010
83937 posts
Posted on 6/14/16 at 1:55 pm to
If dude isn't ugly and if he has decent income he could absolutely crush on Match
Posted by Fun Bunch
New Orleans
Member since May 2008
115901 posts
Posted on 6/14/16 at 1:55 pm to
quote:

Response/call back times... Should I still wait 24 to 48 hours to call after a date or return a phone call after a date?


You're a grown man. Do what makes you happy. Don't come across as creepy or desperate like John Favreau in Swingers, but do what you want. Send a text that says It was great to meet you, let's set a date. Who cares?

quote:

Family pictures... when I go out my kids will either be at their grandparent's or an aunt and uncle's house. If I leave the family pictures up (which I intend to) will that be creepy as hell?


Hell no. Don't hide who you are. Be open and honest about it. Be upfront. If a chick doesn't like it who cares.

Otherwise just be yourself and do whatever you like, as long as the kids aren't adversely effected.

And keep these broads away from your kids until long into the relationship. You don't want them getting confused or attached.
Posted by AUCE05
Member since Dec 2009
42568 posts
Posted on 6/14/16 at 1:57 pm to
No advice. Just wanted to offer condolences about your wife. Good luck.
Posted by WPBTiger
Parts Unknown
Member since Nov 2011
31063 posts
Posted on 6/14/16 at 1:57 pm to
PIIHB
Posted by lsuwontonwrap
Member since Aug 2012
34147 posts
Posted on 6/14/16 at 1:58 pm to
quote:

Response/call back times... Should I still wait 24 to 48 hours to call after a date or return a phone call after a date?
Why wait?

quote:

Family pictures... when I go out my kids will either be at their grandparent's or an aunt and uncle's house. If I leave the family pictures up (which I intend to) will that be creepy as hell?
Not if it's pics of your kids. Wife might be weird.

quote:

Half your age plus 7... If 26 is my lower bound, but I get interest from a 22 yo that's ok right?
uh...wat

quote:

Rule of three... Is that still a thing? If they say they go on 4 dates a month does that mean 12?
You are overthinking this...Just go out when you want to see the person.

quote:

Hos in different area codes... If they both live in the 225 area code but one has a 504 number would it be allowable to date both?
Posted by USAF Hart
My House
Member since Jun 2011
10273 posts
Posted on 6/14/16 at 2:01 pm to
Call back times and all that is just stupid. If you enjoy the company, let them know. If you didn't, let them know. Don't string someone along.

Hide nothing. You have every right to love your wife who passed away. If a woman can't deal with that, then she's not worth keeping around.

I don't think you should be looking at anyone in the 20's unless you're just looking for a quick hit and quit kind of thing. If that's what you are after, Tinder is your go to place. Swipe right on those you like, and swipe left on those you don't. The girls you swipe right on won't know you have interest in them unless they swipe right on you.

I've never heard of this rule of 3. Ditch it. If you hit it off, go on a date whenever your next available times are.

If you want to play the field and host multiple partners at the same time, just play it safe and wrap it before you tap it. You are an adult.

This post was edited on 6/14/16 at 2:04 pm
Posted by BlackAdam
Member since Jan 2016
6455 posts
Posted on 6/14/16 at 2:01 pm to
quote:

Hell no. Don't hide who you are. Be open and honest about it. Be upfront. If a chick doesn't like it who cares.

Otherwise just be yourself and do whatever you like, as long as the kids aren't adversely effected.

And keep these broads away from your kids until long into the relationship. You don't want them getting confused or attached.


Main concern here is having to talk about the wife. don't want it to turn into a pity party.
Posted by Geecubed
The Eventual St. George
Member since Apr 2011
425 posts
Posted on 6/14/16 at 2:03 pm to
quote:

BlackAdam


Condolences man. Went through the same thing about 9 years ago. It's tough to start dating. If you go out on a date, and something doesn't feel right (like you aren't sure it was a good idea to start dating) take a step back and wait a little longer.

Otherwise, keep the family pictures up, be yourself, and the whores out there will show themselves fairly quickly. Find someone that will make you happy, but also make your kids happy (if and when this person meets your kids).
Posted by LaBR4
Baton Rouge
Member since Sep 2005
50816 posts
Posted on 6/14/16 at 2:03 pm to
quote:

Hos in different area codes...


I think you'll be pleased with the 985 area if you've been out of dating for the past 15 years.
This post was edited on 6/14/16 at 2:05 pm
Posted by Lester Earl
Member since Nov 2003
278435 posts
Posted on 6/14/16 at 2:05 pm to
How's your wife die?
Posted by ForeverLSU02
Albany
Member since Jun 2007
52148 posts
Posted on 6/14/16 at 2:08 pm to
quote:

Half your age plus 7... If 26 is my lower bound, but I get interest from a 22 yo that's ok right?

You bet your arse it's ok

ETA: If I'm doing the math right, you're in your late 30's?
This post was edited on 6/14/16 at 2:12 pm
Posted by SthGADawg
Member since Nov 2007
7035 posts
Posted on 6/14/16 at 2:10 pm to
quote:

BlackAdam


not sure about the other shite cause I been tied down for a long time..but I have always heard this...you should wait one month for every year you were married before you start dating...

so 14 years married = 14 months single

my stepmom died in 09'..Dad got remarried in like early 11' and now he is miserable cause it was spontaneous and he hated being alone.

think stuff through..
Posted by SabiDojo
Open to any suggestions.
Member since Nov 2010
83937 posts
Posted on 6/14/16 at 2:12 pm to
I'm pretty comfortable in saying there is no correct formula. You'll know when you're ready.
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