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Started By
Message
OT dating Advice for a widower
Posted on 6/14/16 at 1:52 pm
Posted on 6/14/16 at 1:52 pm
My wife of 11 years passed away about a year ago. I think I am ready to start dating again, but had a few questions.
Response/call back times... Should I still wait 24 to 48 hours to call after a date or return a phone call after a date?
Family pictures... when I go out my kids will either be at their grandparent's or an aunt and uncle's house. If I leave the family pictures up (which I intend to) will that be creepy as hell?
Half your age plus 7... If 26 is my lower bound, but I get interest from a 22 yo that's ok right?
Rule of three... Is that still a thing? If they say they go on 4 dates a month does that mean 12?
Hos in different area codes... If they both live in the 225 area code but one has a 504 number would it be allowable to date both?
Any help is appreciated.
Response/call back times... Should I still wait 24 to 48 hours to call after a date or return a phone call after a date?
Family pictures... when I go out my kids will either be at their grandparent's or an aunt and uncle's house. If I leave the family pictures up (which I intend to) will that be creepy as hell?
Half your age plus 7... If 26 is my lower bound, but I get interest from a 22 yo that's ok right?
Rule of three... Is that still a thing? If they say they go on 4 dates a month does that mean 12?
Hos in different area codes... If they both live in the 225 area code but one has a 504 number would it be allowable to date both?
Any help is appreciated.
36
Posted on 6/14/16 at 1:53 pm to BlackAdam
Backpage
Posted on 6/14/16 at 1:53 pm to BlackAdam
No matter what you do, just remember one thing: Don't let your meat loaf.
Posted on 6/14/16 at 1:53 pm to BlackAdam
I'm sorry for your loss.
Now that is out of the way, dating as a widower is like shooting fish in a barrel with a shotgun.
Now that is out of the way, dating as a widower is like shooting fish in a barrel with a shotgun.
Posted on 6/14/16 at 1:53 pm to BlackAdam
Tinder
Posted on 6/14/16 at 1:54 pm to BlackAdam
I have one word for you: Paige
Posted on 6/14/16 at 1:54 pm to BlackAdam
Hit up Bogies.
Posted on 6/14/16 at 1:55 pm to The Torch
If dude isn't ugly and if he has decent income he could absolutely crush on Match
Posted on 6/14/16 at 1:55 pm to BlackAdam
quote:
Response/call back times... Should I still wait 24 to 48 hours to call after a date or return a phone call after a date?
You're a grown man. Do what makes you happy. Don't come across as creepy or desperate like John Favreau in Swingers, but do what you want. Send a text that says It was great to meet you, let's set a date. Who cares?
quote:
Family pictures... when I go out my kids will either be at their grandparent's or an aunt and uncle's house. If I leave the family pictures up (which I intend to) will that be creepy as hell?
Hell no. Don't hide who you are. Be open and honest about it. Be upfront. If a chick doesn't like it who cares.
Otherwise just be yourself and do whatever you like, as long as the kids aren't adversely effected.
And keep these broads away from your kids until long into the relationship. You don't want them getting confused or attached.
Posted on 6/14/16 at 1:57 pm to BlackAdam
No advice. Just wanted to offer condolences about your wife. Good luck.
Posted on 6/14/16 at 1:57 pm to BlackAdam
PIIHB
Posted on 6/14/16 at 1:58 pm to BlackAdam
quote:Why wait?
Response/call back times... Should I still wait 24 to 48 hours to call after a date or return a phone call after a date?
quote:Not if it's pics of your kids. Wife might be weird.
Family pictures... when I go out my kids will either be at their grandparent's or an aunt and uncle's house. If I leave the family pictures up (which I intend to) will that be creepy as hell?
quote:uh...wat
Half your age plus 7... If 26 is my lower bound, but I get interest from a 22 yo that's ok right?
quote:You are overthinking this...Just go out when you want to see the person.
Rule of three... Is that still a thing? If they say they go on 4 dates a month does that mean 12?
quote:
Hos in different area codes... If they both live in the 225 area code but one has a 504 number would it be allowable to date both?
Posted on 6/14/16 at 2:01 pm to BlackAdam
Call back times and all that is just stupid. If you enjoy the company, let them know. If you didn't, let them know. Don't string someone along.
Hide nothing. You have every right to love your wife who passed away. If a woman can't deal with that, then she's not worth keeping around.
I don't think you should be looking at anyone in the 20's unless you're just looking for a quick hit and quit kind of thing. If that's what you are after, Tinder is your go to place. Swipe right on those you like, and swipe left on those you don't. The girls you swipe right on won't know you have interest in them unless they swipe right on you.
I've never heard of this rule of 3. Ditch it. If you hit it off, go on a date whenever your next available times are.
If you want to play the field and host multiple partners at the same time, just play it safe and wrap it before you tap it. You are an adult.
Hide nothing. You have every right to love your wife who passed away. If a woman can't deal with that, then she's not worth keeping around.
I don't think you should be looking at anyone in the 20's unless you're just looking for a quick hit and quit kind of thing. If that's what you are after, Tinder is your go to place. Swipe right on those you like, and swipe left on those you don't. The girls you swipe right on won't know you have interest in them unless they swipe right on you.
I've never heard of this rule of 3. Ditch it. If you hit it off, go on a date whenever your next available times are.
If you want to play the field and host multiple partners at the same time, just play it safe and wrap it before you tap it. You are an adult.
This post was edited on 6/14/16 at 2:04 pm
Posted on 6/14/16 at 2:01 pm to Fun Bunch
quote:
Hell no. Don't hide who you are. Be open and honest about it. Be upfront. If a chick doesn't like it who cares.
Otherwise just be yourself and do whatever you like, as long as the kids aren't adversely effected.
And keep these broads away from your kids until long into the relationship. You don't want them getting confused or attached.
Main concern here is having to talk about the wife. don't want it to turn into a pity party.
Posted on 6/14/16 at 2:03 pm to BlackAdam
quote:
BlackAdam
Condolences man. Went through the same thing about 9 years ago. It's tough to start dating. If you go out on a date, and something doesn't feel right (like you aren't sure it was a good idea to start dating) take a step back and wait a little longer.
Otherwise, keep the family pictures up, be yourself, and the whores out there will show themselves fairly quickly. Find someone that will make you happy, but also make your kids happy (if and when this person meets your kids).
Posted on 6/14/16 at 2:03 pm to BlackAdam
quote:
Hos in different area codes...
I think you'll be pleased with the 985 area if you've been out of dating for the past 15 years.
This post was edited on 6/14/16 at 2:05 pm
Posted on 6/14/16 at 2:05 pm to BlackAdam
How's your wife die?
Posted on 6/14/16 at 2:08 pm to BlackAdam
quote:You bet your arse it's ok
Half your age plus 7... If 26 is my lower bound, but I get interest from a 22 yo that's ok right?
ETA: If I'm doing the math right, you're in your late 30's?
This post was edited on 6/14/16 at 2:12 pm
Posted on 6/14/16 at 2:10 pm to BlackAdam
quote:
BlackAdam
not sure about the other shite cause I been tied down for a long time..but I have always heard this...you should wait one month for every year you were married before you start dating...
so 14 years married = 14 months single
my stepmom died in 09'..Dad got remarried in like early 11' and now he is miserable cause it was spontaneous and he hated being alone.
think stuff through..
Posted on 6/14/16 at 2:12 pm to SthGADawg
I'm pretty comfortable in saying there is no correct formula. You'll know when you're ready.
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