Here are some observations and tips after 50 years of marriage to the same woman. I am now retired with time on my hands. I hope you can use some of this stuff. If you disagree with it then downvote away. This is just dealing with issues that I had not given much thought to in my 20’s but believe me you learn a lot by the time you reach your 70’s. Maybe it will help someone.

So here you are in your early 20’s and madly in love with this woman. By now you should have met her family. Look at her mother and observe her personality. In 20 years, chances are your wife will have turned out just like her mother physically and mentally.

The vows you take include the words, forsaking all others, in sickness and in health, richer or poorer, until death do you part. Translation, sex only with her and no others, and realize that both of you will have good days and bad days. Man up and deal with it.

The most important thing is finances and is also the source of most arguments.

Before the wedding, sit down with her and let her reconcile your bank statement and you reconcile her bank statement. Look at the spending patterns. Decide which of you will handle the finances. Find agreement of the definition of needs versus wants. Going out drinking and spending $100 on a night out is not as important as saving that $100 for a washer and dryer that will allow you to eliminate going to laundromats. Paying yourself first by putting 10% of your take home pay into a savings account is more important than paying for tickets to any LSU sporting event. Remember, the finances are a partnership and not a dictatorship. Both of you will have to give in on somethings.

Another source of friction is groceries. Before the wedding, create a meal plan for the next week. Now you will find out which one of you likes plain every day food as opposed to high dollar food selections. Create a shopping list with a maximum amount of money you can spend. Go grocery shopping with her. This will be a learning experience.

The next source of friction is the division of labor, specifically cleaning up your trailer/apartment/house. Assume that one of you is a pig and the other is more fastidious. I feel sorry for you if both of you are pigs. The pig will have to clean up their act. Decide on a division of labor for household chores. If she cooks then you clean up. Who is cleaning up the bathroom and doing laundry? Speaking of bathrooms, forget about peeing standing up. Your aim is not that good and cleaning dried up urine is not usually defined as an enjoyable experience.

The next source of friction is saying something stupid. Get in the habit of practicing in your mind what you are going to say and then ask yourself how that can be held against you. Example, she is cooking something new and will expect you to comment on the dish. Instead, ask her how she liked it and mold your response to the cues she just gave to you. Also, 20 years later she will remember the stupid comment you made when you did not practice in your mind beforehand what to say. You will pay for that comment many times over

Decide early on how the visits to the in laws will be determined. You are not just marrying her but you are marrying the whole family. Your family has some strange personalities just like her family has some strange ones.

Abuse of alcohol and drugs eventually leads to legal and financial issues. DWI’s are expensive and will complicate your already complicated life. As to drugs, are you really that stupid to keep on doing that stuff?

Remember this, sex eventually leads to children, therefore sex is very expensive emotionally and financially.

To use Forrest Gump, marriage is like a box of chocolates. You never know what you are going to get so show respect to each other and buckle up to experience the married life.

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