re: Name a simple task that you can't complete

I can't do the black handshake.

It didn't seem simple 40 years ago but white people adopted that shite like it's a British tradition.

Hang two pictures on the same wall evenly the first try. I frick it up someway every dam time. I run a multimillion dollar construction operation and can't two holes in a wall at the same spacing and elevation.

I can't hit a baseball/softball to save my life. Like given 100 pitches in a batting cage, I'd be lucky to hit 5 and purely by accident.

Watched my Dad sharpen his knives many times. Wished I'd learned how

I have the same problem, and my 7 year old is great at it. He loves to point out that he can and I can't!

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I can't own a textbook or notebook without drawing a penis in them. I always do.

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I snap like an idiot

Can't use scissors for shite.

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Put on a fitted sheet

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Well. I can do that.

Folding a fitted sheet, however, is in the realm of magicians.

Drink beer with a dip in my mouth.

I've tried numerous times and have many friends that can do it, but success at this endeavor eludes me. I feel like it's the one thing preventing me from being a true redneck. It's like I'm living a lie.