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My wife has breast cancer; prayers and advice appreciated (Update in OP)
Posted on 4/30/23 at 10:49 pm
Posted on 4/30/23 at 10:49 pm
So my gimp arse was laid up in the hospital a few weeks ago after back surgery so my wife found that an opportune time to have her yearly mammogram. Well, turns out they saw something suspicious so they did a biopsy and it turned out to be cancer. She had the genetic testing done and it came back negative so that was a plus. But then an MRI last week showed 2 spots on the opposite breast that they want to perform biopsies on. I’m humbly asking for prayers for my wife as we have young kids who don’t know about this and we hope to not have to tell them all the details. Obviously when she has surgery, we will have to tell them to some extent but for now, telling a 10 and 11 year old about this cancer seems overwhelming
*Update, my wife has surgery scheduled for June 28 for the lumpectomy and breast conservation. Hopefully all will be well when they check her lymph nodes and if so, she will have radiation treatments but no chemo. We told the kids and they were troopers and very supportive. They’re worried about Mom but didn’t freak out like I feared. Y’all keep the prayers coming and I will update later. Thank y’all!
*Update, my wife has surgery scheduled for June 28 for the lumpectomy and breast conservation. Hopefully all will be well when they check her lymph nodes and if so, she will have radiation treatments but no chemo. We told the kids and they were troopers and very supportive. They’re worried about Mom but didn’t freak out like I feared. Y’all keep the prayers coming and I will update later. Thank y’all!
This post was edited on 6/5/23 at 11:55 pm
94
Posted on 4/30/23 at 10:51 pm to JonTheTigerFan
Damn baw. Prayers sent. your kids will be stronger than you think. Let’s get moms titties healthy!
Posted on 4/30/23 at 10:51 pm to JonTheTigerFan
Done. Good luck brother!
Posted on 4/30/23 at 10:54 pm to JonTheTigerFan
Prayers! I know you’re naturally assuming the absolute worst but remember this is one of the few cancers you want, if you gotta have cancer. It’s usually very treatable. My mom found out she had cancer in both breasts in October 2021 and she is fine now. Removed both breasts and some lymph nodes because it had spread to one or two and she’s fine now. Takes a pill that kinda knocks her on her arse with fatigue and a slight decline in memory but you have to pick your poison in these situations. I pray your wife has a similar positive outcome.
This post was edited on 4/30/23 at 10:55 pm
Posted on 4/30/23 at 10:55 pm to JonTheTigerFan
I have had a lot of experience with this. The first few weeks will be rough while y’all go to appointments and try to figure out a treatment plan. Try not to let this time of uncertainty overwhelm you. It will get better.
Lean on family and friends. Don’t feel ashamed about accepting help. Depending on the treatment plan, y’all will need it and appreciate it.
Get a book titled Breast Cancer Husband. It is a great source of information.
As you learn more and need additional advice, bump this thread.
Lean on family and friends. Don’t feel ashamed about accepting help. Depending on the treatment plan, y’all will need it and appreciate it.
Get a book titled Breast Cancer Husband. It is a great source of information.
As you learn more and need additional advice, bump this thread.
Posted on 4/30/23 at 10:56 pm to JonTheTigerFan
Prayers my man, I pray it never comes to the point when you have to tell your children. If it does, 10 and 11 year olds can be strong, especially when it comes to a parent.
Posted on 4/30/23 at 10:57 pm to JonTheTigerFan
Stay strong for your kids and be there for her. You need to be stronger than you've ever been for them and you have it in you even if you don't know it yet.
A bit of unrequested advice: I've had good friends who had positive outcomes battling cancer who went low/no carb. Worst case you'll both drop a couple pounds, best case you might shift the odds in her favor a bit.
A bit of unrequested advice: I've had good friends who had positive outcomes battling cancer who went low/no carb. Worst case you'll both drop a couple pounds, best case you might shift the odds in her favor a bit.
Posted on 4/30/23 at 10:58 pm to JonTheTigerFan
Cancer is never good but breast cancer when caught early had a great prognosis.
Also MRIs are notorious for “over identifying” a lesion that’s not cancer. Being that her genetic test was negative the likelihood that she has a cancer on the other side is pretty low.
Also MRIs are notorious for “over identifying” a lesion that’s not cancer. Being that her genetic test was negative the likelihood that she has a cancer on the other side is pretty low.
Posted on 4/30/23 at 10:59 pm to gizmothepug
quote:
If it does, 10 and 11 year olds can be strong, especially when it comes to a parent.
Yes they can, especially the girls. They can have fun helping mommy pick out wigs and such. You can tell kids small bits of news in simple terms and they can roll with it surprisingly well.
Posted on 4/30/23 at 11:03 pm to JonTheTigerFan
quote:
I’m humbly asking for prayers for my wife
You are actually asking boldly as Christ instructs us, and know y'all have those prayers from here.
Posted on 4/30/23 at 11:03 pm to masterofmydomain
quote:
Also MRIs are notorious for “over identifying” a lesion that’s not cancer. Being that her genetic test was negative the likelihood that she has a cancer on the other side is pretty low.
I am hopeful this is the case. I keep trying to reassure her of this as there wasn’t anything in that breast from the mammogram. The bad thing is her doctor was out of town this week so she’s just been jumping to her own conclusions from the test results posted online. Thank y’all for the prayers and I will bump this thread to keep y’all posted
Posted on 4/30/23 at 11:04 pm to JonTheTigerFan
Prayers!
It will be okay. You being in the hospital was the alarm for her to find this early. God has this! Im surrounded by cancer in my family so trust when i say i understand. Keep pushing! Things will work out.
It will be okay. You being in the hospital was the alarm for her to find this early. God has this! Im surrounded by cancer in my family so trust when i say i understand. Keep pushing! Things will work out.
Posted on 4/30/23 at 11:04 pm to JonTheTigerFan
Prayers - stay strong.
This post was edited on 4/30/23 at 11:24 pm
Posted on 4/30/23 at 11:05 pm to JonTheTigerFan
Prayers coming
Sounds like it was caught early, that’s a good thing. Head up and stay positive
Sounds like it was caught early, that’s a good thing. Head up and stay positive
Posted on 4/30/23 at 11:13 pm to JonTheTigerFan
My mom had cancer twice when I was a kid, first time they didn’t tell us… just sent us off to camp for a week during the surgery.
2nd time I was 15 or so, I was still to young to understand. No internet about all this crap back then. I stayed at a friends house for about 2 weeks to carpool to practice and school. Then we had people bring us meals and stuff for a while too.
3rd time when I’m an adult, well you know…
Don’t be afraid to accept help. You will need it. Will pray for y’all. Try to be just her husband and father of children, don’t be another doctor or therapist. They can get really depressed during this time and don’t want people telling them what to do all the time. Seeing a therapist for yourself is not a bad thing so that you can learn how to grieve properly, express your anxiety, and be there more for your wife.
2nd time I was 15 or so, I was still to young to understand. No internet about all this crap back then. I stayed at a friends house for about 2 weeks to carpool to practice and school. Then we had people bring us meals and stuff for a while too.
3rd time when I’m an adult, well you know…
Don’t be afraid to accept help. You will need it. Will pray for y’all. Try to be just her husband and father of children, don’t be another doctor or therapist. They can get really depressed during this time and don’t want people telling them what to do all the time. Seeing a therapist for yourself is not a bad thing so that you can learn how to grieve properly, express your anxiety, and be there more for your wife.
This post was edited on 4/30/23 at 11:58 pm
Posted on 4/30/23 at 11:14 pm to JonTheTigerFan
Hopefully it means you caught it early.
My mom went through double breast cancer in the last 10 years and is doing very well, she is 77. Your wife can get through this too.
My mom went through double breast cancer in the last 10 years and is doing very well, she is 77. Your wife can get through this too.
Posted on 4/30/23 at 11:17 pm to JonTheTigerFan
Of course, prayers. Advice, all I have is , love each other, trust in God, and have faith.
Posted on 4/30/23 at 11:17 pm to noonan
True that. I know a handful of women that have survived it and fortunately none that haven’t
Posted on 4/30/23 at 11:25 pm to JonTheTigerFan
Prayers for you and your family.
Posted on 4/30/23 at 11:28 pm to noonan
On the other hand and not being insensitive but get end of life affairs in order no matter the prognosis… having concrete plan will help alleviate a lot more pain and anxiety for everyone. My mom knew it was coming eventually and still did nothing to help us.
Denial or fear, or it will be ok, or it’s up to God, etc… is not an excuse when someone tells you that you have cancer. It’s still cancer and can kill you, no Dr makes that decision. Get will, funeral services/expenses, power of attorney, medical wishes, etc all down on paper through lawyer
Not meant to be harsh but nobody wants to talk about these things and it can be a nightmare if not addressed
Denial or fear, or it will be ok, or it’s up to God, etc… is not an excuse when someone tells you that you have cancer. It’s still cancer and can kill you, no Dr makes that decision. Get will, funeral services/expenses, power of attorney, medical wishes, etc all down on paper through lawyer
Not meant to be harsh but nobody wants to talk about these things and it can be a nightmare if not addressed
This post was edited on 5/1/23 at 11:52 am
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