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re: My Dad going to Hospice- How to tell a 3yr old?

Posted on 4/27/16 at 10:26 pm to
Posted by Byron Bojangles III
Member since Nov 2012
51699 posts
Posted on 4/27/16 at 10:26 pm to
I wasn't ready at 18. Age doesn't matter
Posted by Ancient Astronaut
Member since May 2015
33152 posts
Posted on 4/27/16 at 10:27 pm to
Tell her the comet is coming to pick daddy up to heaven
Posted by nc14
La Jolla
Member since Jan 2012
28193 posts
Posted on 4/27/16 at 10:28 pm to
Nice dickhead. Die
Posted by 3deadtrolls
lafayette
Member since Jan 2014
5737 posts
Posted on 4/27/16 at 10:31 pm to
My condolences to you and your family.
Posted by Cracker
in a box
Member since Nov 2009
17742 posts
Posted on 4/27/16 at 10:31 pm to
don't try
Posted by shagnasty 2
Not far enough away
Member since Nov 2013
738 posts
Posted on 4/27/16 at 10:32 pm to
(no message)
This post was edited on 11/24/16 at 3:14 pm
Posted by lsuwontonwrap
Member since Aug 2012
34147 posts
Posted on 4/27/16 at 10:38 pm to
quote:

Paw paw going to heaven


That's the talk I got. I survived it. Your kid will too.
Posted by lake2280
Public intellectual
Member since Nov 2012
4293 posts
Posted on 4/27/16 at 10:42 pm to
Yeah just tell the same lie that everyone else myself included tell our kids. He is going to hevean to be with all the cats and dogs we had as pets. The main thing is keep the stories alive at that age and beyond. I want my kids to know their grandpa even if they barely remember. I am sorry for what your going through and I will be a wreck when and If I go through a situation like yours with my dad.
Posted by nc14
La Jolla
Member since Jan 2012
28193 posts
Posted on 4/27/16 at 10:51 pm to
You won't, no one is getting out of this alive. It was an absolute beautiful time for me/us. No, we did not want to let go but I can assure you that he is more here than ever.
Posted by CajunAlum Tiger Fan
The Great State of Louisiana
Member since Jan 2008
7880 posts
Posted on 4/27/16 at 10:52 pm to
Sorry to hear this for you. IMO, and for good reason, there is no need to explain to a child that young other than allowing her to spend some time with him.

Peace and strength to your family.
Posted by AUCE05
Member since Dec 2009
42574 posts
Posted on 4/27/16 at 10:55 pm to
Sorry about your dad.
Posted by retired trucker
midwest
Member since Feb 2015
5093 posts
Posted on 4/27/16 at 11:11 pm to
"grandpa is real sick, and won't be around for much longer..."

it's a facility?

Mom had hospice at home, never heard of a facility doin it.

sorry to hear...
Posted by Titus Pullo
MTDGA
Member since Feb 2011
28567 posts
Posted on 4/28/16 at 1:15 am to
quote:

pancreatic cancer



quote:

over two years.


One tough SOB.
This post was edited on 4/28/16 at 1:16 am
Posted by Errerrerrwere
Member since Aug 2015
38324 posts
Posted on 4/28/16 at 1:26 am to
Sorry to hear about your dad. I lost mine and there isn't a day that goes by that I don't think of him.

But I honestly don't think a 3 year old will ever remember that conversation you have with her.

Just tell her and be with her and make her feel safe

All you can do...My prayers for you and yours.
Posted by cleeveclever
Baton Rouge
Member since Aug 2008
2046 posts
Posted on 4/28/16 at 4:25 am to
Been through this dilemma before when our daughter died. Our son was three at the time. The advice we were given by social workers was to not "sugar coat" the situation but to let them steer the discussion.

Basically let them ask questions and don't offer a lot of details outside of those questions. As they processes the information, there will be more questions and the most important thing for them to understand is that this death and grieving will not effect their safety and security.

Kids understand and process way more than we realize, so be honest, direct and sensitive and they will be fine.

I'm so sorry about your dad.
Posted by ISmellMischief
Jodie's House
Member since Jan 2013
897 posts
Posted on 4/28/16 at 5:10 am to
Prayers sent. Much easier to explain and accept if done in a religious manner.
Posted by fishfighter
RIP
Member since Apr 2008
40026 posts
Posted on 4/28/16 at 5:20 am to
At that age, just tell her Paw Paw is sick. Let it go at that and when time comes, let her ask questions and answer as if you were her age. Keep it simple. Little people, little problems, remember that.
Posted by SabiDojo
Open to any suggestions.
Member since Nov 2010
83951 posts
Posted on 4/28/16 at 5:36 am to
quote:

Is it necessary that you do?


My son was 2 when one of our dogs died. He still asks about her and he's 4 now.
Posted by ElderTiger
Planet Earth
Member since Dec 2010
7015 posts
Posted on 4/28/16 at 5:36 am to
quote:

Explain that death is part of life. Don't traumatize the kid. A 3-year-old won't remember much about this event anyways. You have the 3-year-old's whole upbringing to describe your dad that he/she will buy into whole heartedly if yo


This is great advice.
Just remember - kids are a lot more resilient that adults give them credit for. Their reactions to life events are normally a mirror image of the adults around them.

My deepest sympathies to you and your family at this time. It's never fun to say goodby to a loved one.
This post was edited on 4/28/16 at 5:38 am
Posted by its1999
Member since Aug 2009
1039 posts
Posted on 4/28/16 at 5:44 am to
quote:

pancreatic cancer 



quote:
over two years.



One tough SOB.



Exactly. I had an aunt diagnosed last week as stage 4 pancreatic, she's was given 6 months, she died Monday. RIP to her and peace for your dad. At this age, their concept of death is limited, so advice here is on point. Be matter of fact, emphasize heaven as a good place, tell good stories about him.
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