re: Mother's Day ambivalence

Well this sure as shite been an interesting day. Darth, hate to tell you this but there are a hell of lot more dysfunctional parents out there than you might want to think. Trust me, I get plenty of calls from Judges around an eight parish region who ask me to come by and look at a case with them. I normally review their files before I sit down to meet with the District Judge, DA, and defense attorney. I cannot begin to tell you the countless cases in which the person was either physically or emotionally abandoned by their parents, and yes at such a young age the primary mode of care is maternal, which means 'mother'. You have to wonder what path some of these lives might have taken if they had been loved as children. Things truly get sad enough that I am looking forward to retirement in a few years. There are judges who rotate their caseloads because this kind of stuff eventually wears on them.

For those of you who had great parents, you are truly blessed.

For those of you who had negligent/non-loving parents but managed to carry on with life in spite of it, you have my respect. Had it happen to me, too. Even though we carry on, there is still some residual baggage that we will carry on for life. Hopefully, we gain some insight and wisdom from what happened, and ultimately realize that it wasn't so much about us as it was the person(s) charged with raising us. Yes, parents are human, and some can even be pathological. Hopefully, when we have children we try to keep from doing to them what was done to us. Believe it or not, many succeed at this.

It can be difficult to acknowledge that parents are human and prone to err. It is probably one of the more difficult tasks that adult children have to undertake. There are many out there who stay in denial of this fact throughout much if not all of their life.

Equally difficult is the acknowledge that we err as parents. The trick is to be willing to reflect upon our behavior daily, and try to do better. If we really screw up, it shows character and sets a good example to apologize to the child and make it right.

Finally, we come to those who are too scarred to have a normal life or for that matter much of a life at all. One day to the next is a living hell, and the only way the nightmare for them ends is when they eventually leave this life.

So for those who had the great mother, feel blessed. At the same time, be gracious enough to allow those who weren't as fortunate to tell their stories, for every time they get to relate their experiences another sliver of their burden is lifted and they get an opportunity to examine things and learn more. That in and of itself is a gift.

She's about to blow up my phone with drunk snapchats

quote:

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you'd lose your load before you unzipped

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wouldnt be the first time