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Message

re: Marriage? What's the point?

Posted on 2/11/15 at 9:09 am to
Posted by Cajunchick
SWLA
Member since Dec 2014
120 posts
Posted on 2/11/15 at 9:09 am to
quote:

Found your issue.


You got that right.

I am not bashing an entire institution. My point is that marriage isn't for everyone. It was hard work and sometimes that hard work doesn't pay off for everyone involved.
Posted by TigerBait1127
Houston
Member since Jun 2005
47336 posts
Posted on 2/11/15 at 9:09 am to
My married friends say their jealous of me at times cause I'm able to go out take random trips and live a carefree life for the most part

You can't do this when married?
Posted by lsunurse
Member since Dec 2005
128958 posts
Posted on 2/11/15 at 9:09 am to
Yeah sounds like she got too comfortable. You can't let yourself go as a woman or your man may stray.
Posted by GeauxTigerTM
Member since Sep 2006
30596 posts
Posted on 2/11/15 at 9:10 am to
quote:

My married friends say their jealous of me at times cause I'm able to go out take random trips and live a carefree life for the most part.


They sound like people. for the most part, who did not understand what being married was about. If I had wanted to remain carefree and have no responsibilities to anyone else, I'd have not gotten married. I'm not badmouthing anyone that feels that way! But you can;t really have both.

quote:

They all have kids with more on the way never leaving the house except for work and birthday parties.


When kids are young it's a full time gig...it goes with the territory. Again...to be done well, it requires someone who is not personally selfish and is willing to give up part of themselves for what they perceive to be the good of another.

quote:

50% of marriages end in divorce it doesn't seem to promising


Think of it as a bell curve. I look at that stat and suggest that it's that high because FAR MORE people who should never ever have gotten married or waited until they found a better match got married and then bailed because they either sucked at it or decided it wasn't for them. They're killing that average. Those that understood what it was going to be, waited until they were ready, etc have no real issues.

It's funny...nearly all of my good friends from high school that got married in their 20's like I did are still married...which puts most of their marriages at 15-20 or so years. But that makes sense as that group tended to be very much alike so it's not that unusual to think we'd have all made pretty good choices. the fact that we all seemed to luck out and choose someone that was really what we thought they were may be the bigger mystery.
Posted by Broke
AKA Buttercup
Member since Sep 2006
65044 posts
Posted on 2/11/15 at 9:10 am to
Dual incomes and filing married for tax purposes
Posted by redneck
Los Suenos, Costa Rica
Member since Dec 2003
53600 posts
Posted on 2/11/15 at 9:12 am to
quote:

how awful it is..


not if you find the right girl

quote:

sex stops there

see above

quote:

constant nagging

if you let her pussy whip you from the beginning of the relationship maybe, see above

quote:

honey-do-list

see above
Posted by Cajunchick
SWLA
Member since Dec 2014
120 posts
Posted on 2/11/15 at 9:15 am to
quote:

sounds like you quit doing your job as well


Ummm, you have no idea how much I gave to that man/child. From cooking, cleaning, paying his bills, bringing him lunch at work etc. He kicked me and our one year old son out of the home and told me to find somewhere else to live. Hell, he still owes me back child support from 8 years ago.
Of course, he begged me back after he realized how much I did for him.
Posted by weptiger
Georgia
Member since Feb 2007
10333 posts
Posted on 2/11/15 at 9:15 am to
Marriage, in and of itself, is one thing. You marry, it doesn't work and you divorce. The real decision is determining whether or not you want to have children with the person you marry. That is the lifelong commitment that shouldn't be taken lightly.

I married for the first time and it lasted 6 years before we divorced. No kids. That was twenty years ago and we haven't spoken since that time. No major animosity....the marriage just didn't work for either of us.

Remarried sixteen years ago after meeting the right gal. Three kids and happier than ever as our relationship has grown deeper through the years as we shared the struggles of jobs, relocations, deaths, kids, etc. If you find the right person it is more than worth it and you would not see it as pointless.
Posted by tgrbaitn08
Member since Dec 2007
146214 posts
Posted on 2/11/15 at 9:18 am to
well there's always 2 sides to every story.
Posted by GeauxTigerTM
Member since Sep 2006
30596 posts
Posted on 2/11/15 at 9:19 am to
quote:

It was hard work and sometimes that hard work doesn't pay off for everyone involved.


Not bashing you...but when people say this it makes me kind of sad for them. Being married for me has never been work. Honestly. My wife and I have been nearly inseparable since we met about 21 years ago. To this day, we'd rather spend time with each other than anyone else or alone. Aside from being in love, we like each other. Genuinely.

In our case, we both knew what we were looking for and were clearly wired to make those small sacrifices you need to make in order to be with someone else. Not only did we bring the right attitudes personally, but we got lucky as hell that we matched up so well.

I was engaged to a girl before I met my wife, and we had been together for about 6 years. Thankfully she met someone else and called it off...that would have ended badly. The guy she met she ended up marrying and they are still married years and years later. We were wrong for each, but we knew how to be with someone. We had recognized that in each other at least.

Trust me...I'm thankful every day my marriage is not work.
Posted by Cajunchick
SWLA
Member since Dec 2014
120 posts
Posted on 2/11/15 at 9:19 am to
quote:

Yeah sounds like she got too comfortable. You can't let yourself go as a woman or your man may stray.


I have never let myself go. Even now, at 32 and after 2 kids, I look the same as I was when I was in college. My ex was just an a-hole.
Posted by tgrbaitn08
Member since Dec 2007
146214 posts
Posted on 2/11/15 at 9:20 am to
how big of a girl are you?


quote:

My ex was just an a-hole.


women love assholes
Posted by Mung
NorCal
Member since Aug 2007
9054 posts
Posted on 2/11/15 at 9:21 am to
yeah, you hit the jackpot 2nd time around.
Posted by Cajunchick
SWLA
Member since Dec 2014
120 posts
Posted on 2/11/15 at 9:22 am to
quote:

we both knew what we were looking for and were clearly wired to make those small sacrifices you need to make in order to be with someone else.


This is what I meant by hard work. There has to be mutual sacrifices and in my marriage, there was only one side giving and the other was taking.
Posted by Cole Beer
Baton Rouge
Member since Aug 2008
4584 posts
Posted on 2/11/15 at 9:23 am to
quote:

women love assholes


They don't understand the wonderful benefits of getting with and staying with a beta-male.
Posted by Cajunchick
SWLA
Member since Dec 2014
120 posts
Posted on 2/11/15 at 9:23 am to
I am 5'3" and 120 lbs.

quote:

women love assholes


Luckily, the guy I am with now shows no signs of being one...yet
Posted by Pectus
Internet
Member since Apr 2010
67302 posts
Posted on 2/11/15 at 9:24 am to
quote:

That being said, you yourself have to be husband material.



Posted by Col reb 2011
#38
Member since Apr 2013
1614 posts
Posted on 2/11/15 at 9:24 am to
Naw not depressed just have shirty luck with finding a decent girl.. It's tough when a girl leads you on for three months then sleeps with 2 of your friends the gets drunk at a bar both nights this past weekend and says I never gave her a chance and I intimidate her
Posted by bulldog95
North Louisiana
Member since Jan 2011
20713 posts
Posted on 2/11/15 at 9:25 am to
quote:

I have never let myself go. Even now, at 32 and after 2 kids, I look the same as I was when I was in college. My ex was just an a-hole.



We will decide pics of college and now
Posted by rocket31
Member since Jan 2008
41819 posts
Posted on 2/11/15 at 9:25 am to
So the sheep can follow societies life plan.

The typical ot lounger
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