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re: Legit question for Atheist on the OT Board
Posted on 6/9/14 at 9:38 am to beebefootballfan
Posted on 6/9/14 at 9:38 am to beebefootballfan
(Not an atheist but have helpful comments)
You can speak to the person's beliefs, even positive effects of those beliefs, without sharing them yourself. You can eulogize someone's faith in God and how faith led them to peace and happiness, etc. Your not really acknowledging the existence of God, just the deceased's beliefs. Of course, some atheists may not want to ever acknowledge any positives from faith, but I guess that's their own deal.
You can speak to the person's beliefs, even positive effects of those beliefs, without sharing them yourself. You can eulogize someone's faith in God and how faith led them to peace and happiness, etc. Your not really acknowledging the existence of God, just the deceased's beliefs. Of course, some atheists may not want to ever acknowledge any positives from faith, but I guess that's their own deal.
1
Posted on 6/9/14 at 9:48 am to USMCTiger03
Conduct the service in any way that is in the best interest of the family. If they want a religious service make damn sure your eulogy contains religious overtones. Your frined is dead so it will make no difference to him what is read.
Posted on 6/9/14 at 9:54 am to beebefootballfan
As an atheist, I wouldn't mind my funeral being in a full on church setting with scripture and all. The service is for the living, not the deceased. Just talk about his personality and what made y'all love him. Nothing wrong with saying may God watch over his soul...and stuff like that.
Posted on 6/9/14 at 9:57 am to beebefootballfan
quote:
A time where his close friends had a few moments to reflect on his life and what it meant to them, and then finish up by sharing my stories about us growing up together.
This sounds great.
Just sacrifice a baby at the end and you're done.
Posted on 6/9/14 at 10:03 am to TigerBait1127
quote:
Why roll your eyes, that's what the dude believed
Posted on 6/9/14 at 10:24 am to beebefootballfan
quote:
My question to you is what would you like done at your funeral? My thoughts where mainly the normal stuff IE Reading of the Obituary, A time where his close friends had a few moments to reflect on his life and what it meant to them, and then finish up by sharing my stories about us growing up together.
Sounds good to me. There's no need to invoke religion into a memorial unless the person being memorialized was religious.
If there was certain things he would have wanted specifically, like music, etc...I'd try to accommodate those. But it's a very simple thing to gather his friends and family together to remember him without invoking a religion or faith he dd not hold.
And a sincere kudos to you for attempting to respect the man's wishes. Not everyone would or does, so I thank you for him.
Posted on 6/9/14 at 10:28 am to GeauxTigerTM
quote:
And a sincere kudos to you for attempting to respect the man's wishes. Not everyone would or does, so I thank you for him.
I don't think it really matyters to him since he is now deceased.
When I die my family can do whatever they want to with my corpse as it will make no difference to me any longer. I think it is more important to accomodate the wishes of the surviving family members than it is to worry about what a dead person would have wanted IF they were still around to see the service. 
Posted on 6/9/14 at 10:28 am to Tiger1242
quote:
Well if he was an atheist than a funeral is pointless to him and he wouldn't care at all what you did with his body. So do whatever his family wants, according to him he's no longer around
Not true. I'm an atheist and I would like my body cremated. That is a specific example of how I care about how my body is handled after my death.
...and as an atheist, I realize the funeral is about the ones I leave behind and not about me. So I'm not going to leave any other specific instructions. They can morn me in any way they see fit.
Posted on 6/9/14 at 10:37 am to DanTiger
quote:
I don't think it really matyters to him since he is now deceased.
Oh...of that I'm quite sure. But I'm a big proponent of attempting to honor the wishes of the deceased. I don;t appreciate when people tell someone who's dying that they will do something, and then turn around and give them a big frick you and do something else.
When my father died about 12 years ago, I had to get into a huge fight with his long time girl friend and her family over what to do with my father's ashes. He had been VERY CLEAR for years that he wanted to have them scattered at a particular fishing spot he and I used to go to while I was growing up. I always found it silly, but there was no question this was what the man wanted. Everyone in my family had heard this countless times. In the end, I needed to argue for weeks with her, her son and even her damn brother in law...and in the end I simply told them I was done talking and that they could kindly frick off.
So on Father's Day in 2002 I scattered his ashes where he wanted, and I honored his wishes.
Sure...since I think he's entirely gone I have no belief he would have known the difference. But I know. I know that I did what he asked of me, and that is important.
The mileage of others clearly varies... If the person has no interest in what happens, then I'd agree. If they leave instructions, you follow their instructions if you care about them at all.
Posted on 6/9/14 at 10:41 am to LSU80 USF08
quote:
When my dad died we had a party and shared all the good times we had when he was alive. I set up a video camera by the pool so that people could go out there for a bit of privacy and record a story of how he had touched their lives. Lots of crying and lots of laughter, too. He would have had a good time.
Almost exactly what we did for my Dad. He had told us that he wanted his friends and family to come to his home and tell stories about him. He called it a bar-be-quneral. The guy was really funny.
We did just that, and I have several hours of videos that I hated taking at the time but now cherish of friends of his I never even knew talking about their memories of him. It was exactly as he wanted, and he would have absolutely loved being at it.
Posted on 6/9/14 at 10:48 am to beebefootballfan
One key thing would be a great playlist of his favorite songs and ones that capture the spirit of the celebration. That, and drink a few beverages and talk about his life. I'm sure he'd want y'all to have fun and party. Do that and you can't go wrong.
Posted on 6/9/14 at 11:17 am to Gaston
quote:
As an atheist, I wouldn't mind my funeral being in a full on church setting with scripture and all. The service is for the living, not the deceased.
This seems obvious, but so many people seem to have really strong opinions on how their funeral should be. I really don't get the people who are like, "yeah my funeral should be a dope-arse party none of this mopey stuff!" Like this lady. I can't imagine how weird & awkward that funeral was.
LINK
Posted on 6/9/14 at 11:18 am to Gaston
quote:
As an atheist, I wouldn't mind my funeral being in a full on church setting with scripture and all. The service is for the living, not the deceased. Just talk about his personality and what made y'all love him. Nothing wrong with saying may God watch over his soul...and stuff like that.
My thoughts exactly.
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