"Is Your Sexual Desire for Black People Racist? 3 Questions to Reveal the Truth"

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I used to date this cis, hetero White guy – let’s call him Josh. Josh was as well-meaning as they came. Josh acknowledged that racism is a thing and that White privilege is real. In fact, he was so comfortable acknowledging his White privilege that he had seen more Spike Lee films than me.

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And you’re probably wondering, “What’s wrong with that?” I mean, when you’re sexually attracted to someone, obviously you appreciate their physical characteristics. What’s so bad about finding certain characteristics attractive?

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See, that’s the thing. Josh claimed to “love” Black women. But to say that one loves, or is attracted to, any Black woman suggests that one loves and is attracted to a person. However, when asked what draws him to Black women, Josh could only name stereotypical attitudes and body types. See the problem? Hair, skin, arse, “strength,” attitude and hips are not a person. They are attributes of a person.

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Reducing a marginalized group or individual to a set of characteristics like personality, attitudes and body types is, in fact, racist – even if it’s meant to be a compliment.

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Here are a few questions to ask yourself. They’ll help you assess whether or not your attraction to Black bodies contributes to oppression. 1. Are You Attracted to Black Women – Or Do You Fetishize Us? Sexualizing someone, or objectifying them, is not the same as attraction – and it’s important to know which one you’re doing. This is a difficult question to consider, especially since our racist, cissexist, heteropatriarchal social context makes it difficult to experience and express desire without harmful power dynamics.

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2. Does Your Desire Affirm the Person’s Humanity – Or Is It Self-Serving for You? All right, this is another tough one, as it requires a bit more introspection regarding internal motives. Figuring out the impact of your actions is even more difficult if you have a hard time recognizing how power and privilege affect personal relationships.

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3. Are You Treating the Woman You’re Attracted to Like a Person – Or an Accessory?

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4. Do You Recognize Us as Full People – Or Reduce Our Worth to Body Parts and Sexuality?

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And not having certain attributes commonly assigned to Blackness does not make a person any less Black. Reducing the definition of Blackness to body parts and features is objectifying and racist.

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