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re: Is it logical to get married and not have kids?
Posted on 3/28/16 at 7:40 am to tonic
Posted on 3/28/16 at 7:40 am to tonic
quote:
Been married 15 years and we have no desire to have any kids. The family still ask us when we are going to have some acting like we haven't been telling them for 15 years that its never going to happen.
Glad you are taking a stand against inbreeding.
0
Posted on 3/28/16 at 7:42 am to DisplacedBuckeye
quote:
Damn, that sucks. I was told it would be 10 years before I regretted not having kids. When that didn't happen, I was told it would be 20 years. Now you're telling me it's going to be 30 years? Do I ever have anything to look forward to if I don't have kids?
@ wearing it as a badge of honor that you're childless late in life. ETA: If you didn't want kids, congratulations, but I see no reason to be proud of that position.
This post was edited on 3/28/16 at 7:51 am
Posted on 3/28/16 at 7:44 am to nugget
I have no idea why anyone would get married if they didn't want kids.
Posted on 3/28/16 at 7:44 am to thesoccerfanjax
quote:
Yep some people are straight up rude and prying when it comes to asking about kids.
Pot, meet kettle.
quote:
I say young but one of my friends who is nearly 40 is about to have a kid. He acts happy about it but I can tell it was his wife's pressuring and he eventually went along. They will probably divorce over it eventually.
Posted on 3/28/16 at 7:44 am to nugget
Depends...are you white?
Posted on 3/28/16 at 7:45 am to ctiger69
quote:
The purpose of marriage is to have kids
I don't remember hearing this in the vows...
This post was edited on 3/28/16 at 9:24 am
Posted on 3/28/16 at 7:49 am to fr33manator
quote:
Your genetic line coming to a screeching halt and being replaced by idiots that breed prolifically.
I had to spend my life living among idiots. I see no reason to subject anyone else to that.
Posted on 3/28/16 at 7:50 am to slackster
quote:
@ wearing it as a badge of honor that you're childless late in life.
Is there any other way to go about it? Not having kids was top three of best decisions I've made so far.
*edit*
quote:
ETA: If you didn't want kids, congratulations, but I see no reason to be proud of that position.
I'm not "proud of that position", but it's asinine to tell people "you'll see it differently later in life".
This post was edited on 3/28/16 at 7:55 am
Posted on 3/28/16 at 7:54 am to DisplacedBuckeye
quote:
Not having kids was top three of best decisions I've made so far.
Why? I'm genuinely curious.
Posted on 3/28/16 at 7:55 am to nugget
I don't know why anyone would think that they HAVE to have kids. That's a personal decision and completely up to you. I know a few people that don't have kids and are older and fine with it. Probably know more that shouldn't have had kids.
But, I have to say I know several people who I honestly thought would never have kids. Didn't fit their lifestyle. Told everyone they didn't want kids. Then like you said, after about 5 years, they ended up doing it. I know I have a cousin that lived next door to me who we never thought would have kids and he's one of the more involved father's I know now. It's weird. You change as a person a lot by the time you hit 30. At least most people do.
But, I have to say I know several people who I honestly thought would never have kids. Didn't fit their lifestyle. Told everyone they didn't want kids. Then like you said, after about 5 years, they ended up doing it. I know I have a cousin that lived next door to me who we never thought would have kids and he's one of the more involved father's I know now. It's weird. You change as a person a lot by the time you hit 30. At least most people do.
Posted on 3/28/16 at 7:55 am to slackster
Not really. I hardly even talk to him about it. I only notice his reaction when he talks to others about it. I'm just making the point that's its important for the husband and wife to be on the same page.
Posted on 3/28/16 at 7:57 am to DisplacedBuckeye
quote:
it's asinine to tell people "you'll see it differently later in life".
There are some exceptions, but there are many people that changed their stance on kids since 24, so I think that is a fitting comment in a thread like this.
On a similar note, I'm glad that someone who can only see kids a burden on their personal freedoms is childless. We're all better off for that.
Posted on 3/28/16 at 7:57 am to cas4t
I have been married for 14 years and neither of us want kids. We travel and really just like hanging out with each other. Maybe we are selfish but we are really enjoying life thus far. We also have lots of nieces and nephews.
There are a lot of people that ask us why we don't have kids. I usually just say " We are looking at adopting". They will usually become very curious and assume we can't have kids. I will then say "Yea, I have my eye on this 18 year old Russian girl but my wife hasn't agreed to it yet". That usually shuts down the kid questions after that.
There are a lot of people that ask us why we don't have kids. I usually just say " We are looking at adopting". They will usually become very curious and assume we can't have kids. I will then say "Yea, I have my eye on this 18 year old Russian girl but my wife hasn't agreed to it yet". That usually shuts down the kid questions after that.
Posted on 3/28/16 at 7:58 am to DisplacedBuckeye
I respect the fact that you recognized that you didn't want to be a parent and stayed true to yourself rather than just have a kid cause "that's just what you do" 
Not everyone is meant to be parents and people shouldn't be bashed for remaining childless by choice.
Not everyone is meant to be parents and people shouldn't be bashed for remaining childless by choice.
Posted on 3/28/16 at 7:59 am to thesoccerfanjax
quote:
Not really. I hardly even talk to him about it. I only notice his reaction when he talks to others about it.
I understand. A lot of that reaction probably stems from the reaction he gets from others every time it is brought up in conversation. I have a friend who is having a kid at 44, and although he is psyched about it, most of our peers give him shite every time based on his age, so his reaction has been curtailed knowing the response he is going to get from others.
Posted on 3/28/16 at 8:00 am to slackster
quote:
Why? I'm genuinely curious.
Because I've never wanted kids. I think it would be pretty damn irresponsible for me to have kids I don't want.
Posted on 3/28/16 at 8:04 am to lsunurse
quote:
Not everyone is meant to be parents and people shouldn't be bashed for remaining childless by choice.
All true - but the problem comes from people who want to simultaneously tell me they would have been a great dad/mom, but they just didn't want kids. The two are mutually exclusive so you cannot have it both ways. Having kids doesn't make you a good parent, but no good parent regrets their children.
Not saying that is the case with DisplacedBuckeye, but in general that is my experience. I find that those who are childless by choice seem to fail to grasp that.
Posted on 3/28/16 at 8:05 am to lsunurse
quote:
Not everyone is meant to be parents and people shouldn't be bashed for remaining childless by choice
Totally agree with this, but I think it's just hard for parents to understand not wanting kids. I'll still travel in my life and get to do my hobbies. I realize I'm lucky to be able to afford that. But if you gave me the choice to go back and not have kids, or have kids and never get to leave the county I live in again, I'd choose having kids. I realize it's not for everyone, but the whole "I want to live my life without being tied down by a kid" is completely lost on those who want kids. I mean we are wired to think that way.
Now this isn't meant to say you are wrong for not wanting kids, just hard for others to understand. Like you said, it's noble to recognize that you don't want kids instead of popping another one out that you don't really want.
Posted on 3/28/16 at 8:06 am to nugget
Why would you not want to have kids? Even if eventually? I know a lot of younger folks don't want the responsibility yet and is the main reason. But IMO why get married if you're not going to build a family? Unless obviously one of the two can't have kids.
Posted on 3/28/16 at 8:07 am to slackster
quote:
There are some exceptions, but there are many people that changed their stance on kids since 24, so I think that is a fitting comment in a thread like this.
Sure, but I still hear about it in my mid 30's and the OP will as well. I'm just here to say it's perfectly fine to not have kids if you don't want kids.
quote:
On a similar note, I'm glad that someone who can only see kids a burden on their personal freedoms is childless.
Where did I say anything about burdens on my personal freedoms? If I gave a frick about that, I wouldn't be married.
quote:
We're all better off for that.
Trust me, you aren't. I often regret that my wife and I are robbing the gene pool, but not enough to want kids.
This post was edited on 3/28/16 at 8:12 am
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