I wish white chicks had the testicular fortitude to massage like Asian chicks

And I'm not even talking to the shady level where the Asian chicks choke your chimichanga. Let's put that aside for the sake of my point.

White masseuses typically rub your neck and shoulders a little and barely place any pressure on your back muscles.

Asians chicks don't play. They'd give you the people's elbow if it meant just releasing a single muscle knot near your shoulder blade. They'll stomp on your back, pull your legs over your head, and even go wrist deep into your butt cheeks just to get a few tense muscles to relax - glutes that white chicks are too afraid to touch.

On top of that, you can walk into an Asian massage place any time instead of having to schedule two weeks out and Asian chicks also charge half the price in cash.

White masseuses better step their game up.