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Started By
Message
re: I just found out I have 3 year old son
Posted on 1/3/17 at 11:44 am to malvin
Posted on 1/3/17 at 11:44 am to malvin
Spend lots of time with him. My 4 and 2 year old want to play with me constantly, so much so that it can become very draining and test your patience. Try not to give into your fatigue (you will, but resist it and do better next time).
Read books to him, go out into nature with him, play toys with him, sing to/with him, do silly dances and play silly games, wrestle.
Don't make un-enforceable commands (ie "Clean your room or I'm throwing everything you own away").
When you're disciplining him, if he's anything like my kids, letting them know you still love them right then goes a long way to making sure they listen instead of just crying/getting mad and throwing a tantrum.
Give him choices instead of yes or no questions ("Do you want to eat a pb&j or a ham sandwich?" instead of "Are you hungry?" if you know he needs to eat).
As others have said, remember you are his father and not his friend. That doesn't mean you don't do all those things I put up above, it just means you keep what he needs in mind instead of what he wants.
And congrats! Being a dad is the most fulfilling thing I've ever done with my life. Pretty soon you'll forget what it was like before he was in your life.
Read books to him, go out into nature with him, play toys with him, sing to/with him, do silly dances and play silly games, wrestle.
Don't make un-enforceable commands (ie "Clean your room or I'm throwing everything you own away").
When you're disciplining him, if he's anything like my kids, letting them know you still love them right then goes a long way to making sure they listen instead of just crying/getting mad and throwing a tantrum.
Give him choices instead of yes or no questions ("Do you want to eat a pb&j or a ham sandwich?" instead of "Are you hungry?" if you know he needs to eat).
As others have said, remember you are his father and not his friend. That doesn't mean you don't do all those things I put up above, it just means you keep what he needs in mind instead of what he wants.
And congrats! Being a dad is the most fulfilling thing I've ever done with my life. Pretty soon you'll forget what it was like before he was in your life.
2
Posted on 1/3/17 at 12:09 pm to tooshea8
I would go with joint custody and no child support. Then we'll see if she changes her tune.
Posted on 1/3/17 at 12:25 pm to TigerNutwhack
Tigernutwhack, thanks for contributing to the pussification of America and extending the millennial mentality of kids these days. Society is creating a bunch of narcissists who don't know how to take no for an answer.
Posted on 1/3/17 at 12:52 pm to Marlo Stanfield
quote:
Tigernutwhack, thanks for contributing to the pussification of America and extending the millennial mentality of kids these days. Society is creating a bunch of narcissists who don't know how to take no for an answer.
Pretty sure he gave some solid advice. So being a good parent extends the millennial mentality of kids?
Posted on 1/3/17 at 1:20 pm to Hogwarts
When the mom told you about your son, did she drop a hint to find out if you were with someone or was she like I need to tell you something and I hope you understand? Just curious.
I applaud your efforts to do the right thing as a father. I`m not sure how I would take that type of thing out of the blue. Also, I hope your last name will be easier for him to learn and not one he will be picked on.
I applaud your efforts to do the right thing as a father. I`m not sure how I would take that type of thing out of the blue. Also, I hope your last name will be easier for him to learn and not one he will be picked on.
Posted on 1/3/17 at 2:05 pm to tooshea8
Were you on Maury not too long ago?
Posted on 1/3/17 at 3:02 pm to tooshea8
I ain't sayin' she a gold digger
Posted on 1/3/17 at 3:44 pm to Marlo Stanfield
quote:
Tigernutwhack, thanks for contributing to the pussification of America and extending the millennial mentality of kids these days. Society is creating a bunch of narcissists who don't know how to take no for an answer.
Marlo Stanfield, who pissed in your cornflakes? What in my post made you think I don't teach my kids how to take no for an answer or that I'm contributing to the "millennial mentality"? Maybe take your head out of your arse before you start spewing shite snowflake.
Posted on 1/3/17 at 4:32 pm to TigerNutwhack
You have gotten some good advice so far. I will add-on don't force anything with him right now. You are his father, but you aren't "daddy" yet. That will take some time. You will have to earn that, and I am sure you will. Take your time and get to know him, and let him get to know you. Be easy with the discipline right now. I don't mean don't discipkinebhim, but be careful how you do it. You only get one chance to start this relationship right. Right now you are a new guy in his life. He doesn't know you love him. He may be able to say but because you have said it to him, but he hasn't experienced it enough for it to just be a fact of life yet. That will happen. Good luck, and enjoy fatherhood. It's not always easy or fun, but it is rewarding.
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