I am not a Scientologist.

So today I go to see a photographer to look at some proofs. His address is a Victorian mansion on Canal Street. I should have been placed on notice by the sign in the front, which said (right under the photography studio's name), "Dianetics and Scientology."

I ring the doorbell, and after some time I was greeted by a plain looking woman in safety shoes with her hair in a bun. I say, "I have an appointment with Rudy." She says, "Oh yes, why don't you come in and I will find him." She leads me into this big beautiful parlor and asks me to have a seat on the couch. I immediately notice strange pictures on the wall, a kiosk with headphones and a video screen, and a giant book with L. Ron Hubbard on the cover sitting on the coffee table. Helga takes leave of me and goes upstairs (why, I have no idea). I'm really creeped out at this point. She comes back and then says, "Rudy is in his studio. Just drive around back."

So immediately I'm wondering why she invited me in if Rudy is in the back. Anyway, I walk out, and as soon as I do there is some guy standing out front snapping pictures of the building and of ME. So you people, please, no matter what you might see on the internet, I am NOT a Scientologist.