How do you deal with family members that just aren't like you?

I know I'm not the only one on here that has to deal with complete trash in paternal family dynamics, which typically arise during the holidays.

My wife and I are both the first college graduates in each of our families. We have done well for ourselves (although not O-T ballas), but we are both professionals with graduate degrees that try to work hard and make things better for our little family.

On both sides of our family, there is a dynamic that really upsets me during Christmas. Call it jealousy, call it white trash behavior, but its a lot like Cousin Eddie in Christmas vacation.

I drive up in a nice late model Volvo, there's a comment
My daughter wears a nice dress in a Christmas picture, there's a comment.
In the kitchen, my wife mentions a spice or ingredient that sounds fancy, there's a comment
I had an iPhone 6 at Thanksgiving, there's a comment.

My parents didn't do awful while they worked, but didn't save properly for retirement and are basically living off social security. My dad cashed in his 401k a year after retirement and built a dream home. There was nothing really wrong with the home I grew up in, but it was just something he always wanted to do.

My mother lays the guilt trip on us. "We're so happy y'all are doing well. I hate that we can't buy your daughter Christmas gifts that she's used to."

Aunts and Uncles in the same situation and cousins that got married at 18 and started popping out kids are the same way. IT makes it very uncomfortable.

My wife's parents are significantly younger than mine, and my father in law still works (mother in law has never worked for anyone in her life, always in some makeup or Advocare crap). Their problem is less with the financial aspect of things and more with our political beliefs, religious beliefs, and the distance we live from them.

Long story short, I despise Christmas because of all of this. Its not fair to my family - there has to be a way to deal with it better. Two things I'm doing differently this year:

1. In and out quick trip to my parents the weekend before Christmas. No extended family. Just one night and we're coming home.

2. Hosting my wife's family. I feel like I can control it a little better if its at my house. I enjoy cooking a turkey on the Egg (expecting comments), but if we control the pace I think it will be better.