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Here's something if you need a good laugh

Posted on 9/24/17 at 3:10 pm
Posted by Grim
Member since Dec 2013
12302 posts
Posted on 9/24/17 at 3:10 pm
LINK

Tl;dr: Guy on reddit talks about his dad beating him with jumper cables in every post

quote:

I feel like I have this odd sixth sense about when things are about to go wrong. It's actually really creepy. Like the other day, a few coworkers and I went to a Giants game with our CEO. All of the sudden this feeling struck me and I thought, "This day is not going to end well." Sure enough, later that evening my dad beat the shite out of me with a set of jumper cables.
Posted by whit
Baton Rouge
Member since Sep 2010
10998 posts
Posted on 9/24/17 at 3:15 pm to
he's got a shite ton of gold
Posted by USEyourCURDS
Member since Apr 2016
12059 posts
Posted on 9/24/17 at 3:17 pm to
One of the replies asking if he really gets beat and if posting is his way of coping with it.

"It's not your fault."
Posted by Stiles
Member since Sep 2017
3403 posts
Posted on 9/24/17 at 3:18 pm to
Old version of u/shittymorph's
quote:

nineteen ninety eight when the undertaker threw mankind off h?ll in a cell, and plummeted sixteen feet through an announcer's table.

quote:

Hate to be THAT guy but this post is most likely a BS story created specifically for karma. This sort of post is basically a recipe for making the front page. I know from experience because about 5 or 6 years ago I made a bet with a friend that I could get a post to the front page of Reddit... To accomplish my goal I created a similar backstory, wrote out a note, and put some cash in front of it, snapped a pic, and posted. I ended up making the front page and winning the bet which was dinner at a steakhouse of my choice. This kind of manipulation has been plaguing reddit since at least nineteen ninety eight when the undertaker threw mankind off h?ll in a cell, and plummeted sixteen feet through an announcer's table.
This post was edited on 9/24/17 at 3:29 pm
Posted by speechles
Member since Jan 2013
1305 posts
Posted on 9/24/17 at 3:23 pm to
Yeah thats solid
Posted by TheArrogantCorndog
Highland Rd
Member since Sep 2009
14814 posts
Posted on 9/24/17 at 3:26 pm to
quote:

Risotto seems difficult, but it's actually pretty damn easy. Just butter a pot, dice up a shallot, add a cup of arborio rice, then add chicken broth and stir for about 20 minutes. Be sure to add broth if need be, and don't forget to stir. I once left the risotto alone for 10 minutes and it burned the hell out of the rice, then my dad made me stand outside in the freezing cold while he beat me senseless with a set of jumper cables. After that, mix in some parmesan cheese and you've got risotto. Pretty simple.


Posted by Lazy But Talented
Member since Aug 2011
14440 posts
Posted on 9/24/17 at 3:28 pm to
Shittymorph is the best
Posted by bakersman
Grant parish
Member since Apr 2011
5704 posts
Posted on 9/24/17 at 3:49 pm to
(no message)
This post was edited on 12/13/17 at 10:26 pm
Posted by Grim
Member since Dec 2013
12302 posts
Posted on 9/24/17 at 3:53 pm to
He gets me every damn time. Although it's kind of irritating that the grammatical structure of that sentence makes it sound like the Undertaker was the one who plummeted off the cell
Posted by When in Rome
Telegraph Road
Member since Jan 2011
35538 posts
Posted on 9/24/17 at 4:02 pm to
Man that risotto post is perfect.
Posted by Backinthe615
Member since Nov 2011
6871 posts
Posted on 9/24/17 at 4:06 pm to
"What's something that's bad for you and you know but you keep on doing it?"

Smoothies. I've been blending up smoothies every morning before work, throwing in a variety of fruits, vegetables, kale leaf, a little honey. It gives you a huge boost of energy and it's a great way to start your day. The bad part comes from the fact that that blender is so damn loud, and whenever I use it it wakes up my dad, who usually goes straight to the garage and grabs that dirty old set of jumper cables which he uses to beat me like a rented mule until I'm halfway unconscious on the floor. It's a horrible drawback. But I've been so used to having that smoothie every morning that I can't seem to break the habit. It's a really great way to start your day.

This post was edited on 9/24/17 at 4:07 pm
Posted by Grim
Member since Dec 2013
12302 posts
Posted on 9/24/17 at 4:09 pm to
I think this is my favorite
quote:

If you could stop one embarrassing moment from happening what would it be?

quote:

I was at my great aunt's one day for her 75th birthday. Her party mainly consisted of a bunch of old people sitting in her living room talking with the TV on. This was back when those Chilean miners were trapped and all the news channels wouldn't shut up about it. At one point my great aunt looked over at me and said "Isn't it awful? They're saying it could take months to rescue those miners" and without really thinking I chuckled and said, "Well I think the government needs to just stick a tube down there and gas them all. Problem solved." No one else laughed, obviously. The joke definitely wasn't fit for a 75 year old's birthday party. Regardless, I was giggling like a fool. Something about the thought of gassing those Chilean miners had me in stitches. Stupid miners. The really bad part was that there was a holocaust survivor in the room, and he gave me this awful, disgusted look as I sat there laughing and staring back at him. Anyway, to make a long story short, my dad ended up beating the living shite out of me with a set of jumper cables.
Posted by StatisticsMoron
Arizona
Member since Sep 2017
830 posts
Posted on 9/24/17 at 5:07 pm to
None of that is funny. I'm worried for humanity that so many of you are laughing at it.
Posted by CajunSoldier225
Member since Aug 2011
8990 posts
Posted on 9/24/17 at 6:47 pm to
Posted by Syd
Member since Sep 2012
2963 posts
Posted on 9/24/17 at 6:54 pm to
quote:

None of that is funny. I'm worried for humanity that so many of you are laughing


I really did lol to this.
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