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Started By
Message
Granting dying wishes vs going against a parents wishes.
Posted on 3/5/20 at 1:07 pm
Posted on 3/5/20 at 1:07 pm
What would you do?
My wife and and I were raised Catholic and have parents and grandparents that are hard core into Catholic beliefs.
They pounded these beliefs on us while young.
Fast forward to today and we have two kids 5 and 4 who are not baptized. This is by our choice as we want our children to independently make a decision later in life on what religious route they would like to take, if any. If one kid chooses to be a priest I will support him fully and if one chooses to never utter religion I will support him fully. No matter what.
To the issue at hand; my grandmother received a terminal diagnosis. She doesn’t have long. She called me this morning asking if we would consider baptizing our children before she dies.
I told her that my wife and I would have a level headed discussion.
Has anyone been in a similar situation?
Please do not reserve in your responses. I know her request has a certain amount of selfishness to it. I also know that ones dying wish should be heard and considered— your responses won’t offend me.
What would you do?
My wife and and I were raised Catholic and have parents and grandparents that are hard core into Catholic beliefs.
They pounded these beliefs on us while young.
Fast forward to today and we have two kids 5 and 4 who are not baptized. This is by our choice as we want our children to independently make a decision later in life on what religious route they would like to take, if any. If one kid chooses to be a priest I will support him fully and if one chooses to never utter religion I will support him fully. No matter what.
To the issue at hand; my grandmother received a terminal diagnosis. She doesn’t have long. She called me this morning asking if we would consider baptizing our children before she dies.
I told her that my wife and I would have a level headed discussion.
Has anyone been in a similar situation?
Please do not reserve in your responses. I know her request has a certain amount of selfishness to it. I also know that ones dying wish should be heard and considered— your responses won’t offend me.
What would you do?
84
Posted on 3/5/20 at 1:09 pm to TIGERBAIT84
Yeah I would grant that wish.
Not so much for the grandmother as much as it is for your kids
Not so much for the grandmother as much as it is for your kids
Posted on 3/5/20 at 1:10 pm to TIGERBAIT84
No disrespect, but your grandmother is pretty lucky to even live long enough to see her great grandchildren. You shouldn't alter your plan for raising your children because of the wishes of someone they'll never know.
This is a pretty fricking selfish request of her.
This is a pretty fricking selfish request of her.
Posted on 3/5/20 at 1:11 pm to TIGERBAIT84
Baptizing them now doesn't prevent them independently making a decision later in life on what religious route they would like to take
Posted on 3/5/20 at 1:11 pm to TH03
quote:
No disrespect, but your grandmother is pretty lucky to even live long enough to see her great grandchildren. You shouldn't alter your plan for raising your children because of the wishes of someone they'll never know.
This is a pretty fricking selfish request of her.
Posted on 3/5/20 at 1:11 pm to TIGERBAIT84
quote:
What would you do?
Tell her it's up to the kids
Posted on 3/5/20 at 1:13 pm to TIGERBAIT84
quote:
She called me this morning asking if we would consider baptizing our children before she dies.
quote:
Granting dying wishes vs going against a parents wishes. by TIGERBAIT84
Sounds like you've considered it. The deed is done.
Posted on 3/5/20 at 1:13 pm to LazloHollyfeld
quote:
Baptizing them now doesn't prevent them independently making a decision later in life on what religious route they would like to take
Not baptising them doesn't prevent them from being religious later in life.
The point is OP and his wife made a decision on how they want to raise their child. Grandma wants them to change it to make her happy for her last 14 days on Earth (again no offense, OP). That's selfish af.
Posted on 3/5/20 at 1:13 pm to TIGERBAIT84
Weird request.
Seems to me your grandmother has more pressing issues.
With that said I’m not catholic and I don’t understand their religious ways. Especially this baptism thing when they (the kids) have no understanding or conviction.
Seems to me your grandmother has more pressing issues.
With that said I’m not catholic and I don’t understand their religious ways. Especially this baptism thing when they (the kids) have no understanding or conviction.
This post was edited on 3/5/20 at 1:14 pm
Posted on 3/5/20 at 1:14 pm to TIGERBAIT84
Do you think your kids will resent you for having them baptized? I'm going to say that's a hard no. Do you love your grandmother?
Posted on 3/5/20 at 1:14 pm to TIGERBAIT84
you can get them baptized for her. it doesn't cost anything. and.....they can still choose their religion when it comes time for confirmation.
Posted on 3/5/20 at 1:15 pm to TIGERBAIT84
Grandma sounds selfish and pretty shitty to guilt trip you
Posted on 3/5/20 at 1:15 pm to TIGERBAIT84
I would politely/respectfully explain my reasoning for saying no.
She can pray for them without involving you or them.
She can pray for them without involving you or them.
Posted on 3/5/20 at 1:15 pm to TIGERBAIT84
It depends on how strongly I feel about the issue. If it was well thought out, discussed, and there are valid reasons no I wouldn't change.
Posted on 3/5/20 at 1:16 pm to TIGERBAIT84
Sounds like granny needs to take a chill pill
Posted on 3/5/20 at 1:16 pm to TIGERBAIT84
I believe that a decent amount of people have a secondary baptism as an adult once they become autonomous. That is also another option you could pursue.
Posted on 3/5/20 at 1:16 pm to TIGERBAIT84
quote:
What would you do?
Get a buddy to dress like a priest and fake a baptism.
Posted on 3/5/20 at 1:17 pm to TIGERBAIT84
Tell grandma you had it done so she’s happy but don’t really do it so you’re happy.
Win win
Win win
Posted on 3/5/20 at 1:17 pm to TIGERBAIT84
I was actually baptized at my great grandmothers insistence. It wasn’t a “dying wish” kinda thing and she lived until I was in my 20s...but it was her thing.
I’d do it if only to make her happy.
I’d do it if only to make her happy.
Posted on 3/5/20 at 1:18 pm to TH03
quote:
This is a pretty fricking selfish request of her.
I agree. She had the opportunity to raise her kids the way she saw fit. Now it’s your turn to do the same.
She’s trying to rob you of what she had. Pretty selfish.
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