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Started By
Message
Grandparent Jealousy over time spent with Grandkid?
Posted on 12/19/16 at 10:36 am
Posted on 12/19/16 at 10:36 am
Me and my wife have a 7 month old boy. He is the first grand baby on both sides. My parents, mainly my mom, is super jealous because my wife is a stay at home mom and tends to spend more time with her mom during the week, which also means more time spent with my son. Both sets of parents are retired. Had to have a huge talk with my parents about it as it was causing major issues. Anyone else have problems like this? How did you resolve the issue, or did you?
TL;DR my parents are jealous of her parents because they perceive they dont spend as much time with only grandchild (my son)
TL;DR my parents are jealous of her parents because they perceive they dont spend as much time with only grandchild (my son)
29
Posted on 12/19/16 at 10:38 am to FishinTygah84
quote:
Anyone else have problems like this? How did you resolve the issue, or did you?
My mother is like this with my sister's daughter.
my sister lives 2 hours away from them and near the other grand parents.
so naturally they see the baby more.
Posted on 12/19/16 at 10:39 am to FishinTygah84
quote:
How did you resolve the issue, or did you?
Threaten to move across the country.
Posted on 12/19/16 at 10:39 am to Nado Jenkins83
yeah, we all reside within 15-20 minutes of each other
Posted on 12/19/16 at 10:39 am to FishinTygah84
Yes. It happens.
You just have to be very frank with them and tell that that it isn't a slight, that sometimes it just works out where the other gets to spend more time and if they want to see the kid more, they might need to put for the effort.
You just have to be very frank with them and tell that that it isn't a slight, that sometimes it just works out where the other gets to spend more time and if they want to see the kid more, they might need to put for the effort.
Posted on 12/19/16 at 10:39 am to FishinTygah84
Your parents need to grow the frick up and stop being so petty.
Posted on 12/19/16 at 10:39 am to FishinTygah84
quote:
. Had to have a huge talk with my parents about it as it was causing major issues
What was their solution?
Posted on 12/19/16 at 10:39 am to FishinTygah84
Tale as old as time brotha. 
Posted on 12/19/16 at 10:40 am to FishinTygah84
Sounds like some typical woman/grandmotherly type stuff. I'm sure it'll blow over like anything else. As i'm sure you are, just keep her informed that you're not choosing favorites.
Posted on 12/19/16 at 10:40 am to FishinTygah84
quote:
yeah, we all reside within 15-20 minutes of each other
then tell your mom if she wants to see the kid more, invite your wife over more, invite her to go shopping more, etc
your wife is going to naturally spend more time with her mom, your mom needs to understand that and has to be the driving in forcing more time with the grandkid
Posted on 12/19/16 at 10:40 am to FishinTygah84
(no message)
This post was edited on 5/9/20 at 6:26 pm
Posted on 12/19/16 at 10:41 am to FishinTygah84
We did my wife works, and both our moms do not so we have it split where my mom get the kids all day monday and friday and her mom gets them tue/wed/thurs afternoons from 2:30-5ish. this was a major issue in the beginning, cause her mom won't drive to come meet my wife, she is a tad bit inconsiderate when it comes to that, meanwhile my mom will wake up at 230Am if needed to come pick them up, the distance between our parents is roughly the same about 4 miles for each but her mom is very inconsiderate when is come to my wife need her to come meet her and my wife doesn't want to ask her mom to come out of her way
Posted on 12/19/16 at 10:41 am to Salmon
quote:
You just have to be very frank with them and tell that that it isn't a slight, that sometimes it just works out where the other gets to spend more time and if they want to see the kid more, they might need to put for the effort.
had this discussion yesterday evening when my mom. she was upset because she made christmas plans and i asked to move them back an hour. She said "well, i guess we won't get to see the baby at all this Christmas!"
that was the tipping point. she can be pretty childish.
Posted on 12/19/16 at 10:43 am to Salmon
quote:
then tell your mom if she wants to see the kid more, invite your wife over more, invite her to go shopping more, etc your wife is going to naturally spend more time with her mom, your mom needs to understand that and has to be the driving in forcing more time with the grandkid
I agree 100%. It could be a "making more of an effort" thing.
This post was edited on 12/19/16 at 10:44 am
Posted on 12/19/16 at 10:44 am to FishinTygah84
Women 
Posted on 12/19/16 at 10:44 am to FishinTygah84
quote:
She said "well, i guess we won't get to see the baby at all this Christmas!"
that was the tipping point. she can be pretty childish.
grandmother's can be very petty when it comes to grandchildren, especially the first
we dealt with this from my MIL in the beginning
it will get better
Posted on 12/19/16 at 10:46 am to FishinTygah84
the woman's mother always wins
Posted on 12/19/16 at 10:47 am to Salmon
quote:
grandmother's can be very petty when it comes to grandchildren, especially the first
man, it's crazy! i NEVER thought i'd have to have the discussion i had last night. I never thought my mom would act like this. Both of my dads parents died when he was in college, so when he and my mom got married, only my moms parents were still alive so they never had to deal with sharing.
Posted on 12/19/16 at 10:48 am to FishinTygah84
I don't know from first hand experience, but my friends talk about this. One of the issues is similar to this, but I think both sets of grandparents live about an hours drive from them (in different directions. In other words, its almost a 2 hr drive from one grandparents house to the other), but both sets of grandparents expect them to come over on Christmas day.
They had to work it out, not sure of the details, but they decided they would go to one set of grandparents on Christmas eve and the other set on Christmas day, but the grandparents they decided to go to on Christmas eve made a huge deal because they decided to go to the other grandparents on Christmas day, and they wanted the whole family to be there.
This was several years ago, but I remember having a card game with the group of guys I play cards with and one of them was the one in this situation and it was stressing him out. Its sounds like some petty shite to deal with.
They had to work it out, not sure of the details, but they decided they would go to one set of grandparents on Christmas eve and the other set on Christmas day, but the grandparents they decided to go to on Christmas eve made a huge deal because they decided to go to the other grandparents on Christmas day, and they wanted the whole family to be there.
This was several years ago, but I remember having a card game with the group of guys I play cards with and one of them was the one in this situation and it was stressing him out. Its sounds like some petty shite to deal with.
Posted on 12/19/16 at 10:49 am to FishinTygah84
My wife and I wish we had your problem.
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