Got Caught Cheating

tl;dr: I was stupid and had an affair with a married man, got caught, and am now getting what I deserve for being an a-hole. I am hurting. I need new people to hang out with and I want to start over. Where do I go to make new friends in New Orleans?


I have been involved with a married man for the past 2.5 years. (Yes, I'm a whore…save it, I already know.) We have known each other since graduating from high school 24 years ago when we dated for a few years. He spent the last few years telling me every lie a man can tell a woman who loves him. And I believed him. (Yes, I'm a stupid whore…save it, I already know.)

Over the course of the affair, we spoke every day and saw each other at least once a week. Apparently between the myself and his wife he would have sex up to 7 times a day. His wife found out on more than one occasion what was going on, confronted us, and for whatever reason allowed him to stay every time. He would say he'd never see me again, but would contact me within hours to continue our relationship. (Apparently, we are both stupid.) On Thursday last week she again found messages we had sent to each other on his phone and confronted him about it. He again told her it was over between us and then proceeded to email me within a day, like always.

Last night she called me and we spoke for an hour. At first, I refused to answer her questions trying to protect him. After we talked and she told me the things he's been telling her, I agreed to give her all the information she needed about our affair. I just wanted him to call me and talk to me in front of her so I could address the things she said to me. He called. I questioned him. He said he wanted her and admitted to lying to me over and over, so I told her everything she needed to know. I asked him to never speak to me again.

He was pretty much my best friend, my only friend, over the past few years. Even though I know I deserve it, I am feeling pretty miserable and alone right now. Save the speeches on how I am a terrible person. Nothing you can say will make me feel any worse than I already do. I let an idiot use me and make a fool of me. Which makes me a bigger idiot than him.

I am divorced and have nothing but married friends. As part of my divorce arrangements, I stay home and deal with kids activities because my ex isn't available due to a ridiculous work schedule. I can't meet new people at work, like normal people do. I need people to talk to and to get out and do things with. I need to start over. I need to move on. I need a life that doesn't involve lies and hiding and sneaking around. I need friends. I don't want to Tinder because I'm not looking for just sex. Where do middle aged women with questionable judgement go to meet new friends?