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Message
re: Does your wife "want" to work?
Posted on 2/18/14 at 10:48 am to Prominentwon
Posted on 2/18/14 at 10:48 am to Prominentwon
quote:
think both of you have misconstrued views of what SAHM mom's responsibilities are
I think they feel as if we believe their working wives are inferior or something
Nobody is saying that
It is just physically impossible for them to do everything unless they have a job like RBWs
Posted on 2/18/14 at 10:49 am to RBWilliams8
quote:
Arts and crafts, bruh. That's all.
Everything else takes care of itself.
Posted on 2/18/14 at 10:49 am to StringedInstruments
quote:
Maybe she's a teacher and has the same schedule s the kids.
Maybe she's a teacher and can get home by 4 to get dinner ready.
Teachers on the OT claim to work a 8-10 hr day, something isn't adding up
quote:
Maybe she's not a lazy piece of shite and keeps the house clean as the week goes by. Even better, maybe her husband isn't a lazy piece of shite and helps clean the house.
You got me there, I do not clean house. I do work a lot so when I'm home I want to enjoy my time with my family.
quote:
Maybe they have grandparents around. Maybe she takes off work on those rare times that a kid is sick.
most don't have this
Posted on 2/18/14 at 10:50 am to StringedInstruments
quote:
Maybe she's not a lazy piece of shite and keeps the house clean as the week goes by. Even better, maybe her husband isn't a lazy piece of shite and helps clean the house.
Yep, the world is divided into people who work 60 hour a week corporate jobs and "lazy pieces of shite." No middle ground! And anyone who argues otherwise is a lazy piece of shite, so qed
Posted on 2/18/14 at 10:50 am to 911Moto
I figured all moms would want to go out and work.
Being a stay at home mom is one of the hardest jobs in the world. Let someone else do that shite
Being a stay at home mom is one of the hardest jobs in the world. Let someone else do that shite
Posted on 2/18/14 at 10:51 am to Salmon
quote:
I think they feel as if we believe their working wives are inferior or something
Nobody is saying that
It is just physically impossible for them to do everything unless they have a job like RBWs
I would prefer my wife to work. Based on income alone. But when it comes down to it right now, it's better for the family and our sanity for her to stay home and take care of what needs to be done.
The amount of issues that pile up and the lack of time will eventually stress you out until you snap. I understand it happens, but if you have an opportunity to minimize that happening, take it.
There are only so many hours in a day.
Posted on 2/18/14 at 10:51 am to StringedInstruments
quote:
. I was just responding to the guy who believes wholeheartedly that working moms cannot provide the same amount as a stay at home mom.
unless they can be two places at once i don't see how it's possible
Posted on 2/18/14 at 10:51 am to Salmon
quote:
I think they feel as if we believe their working wives are inferior or something
I would be bad as either a SAHD or a working father, if I had to shoulder much of the responsiblities of home. I work 3 jobs (if you count overtime as a 3rd job) and when I'm home, I'm home, sitting on a$$.
Posted on 2/18/14 at 10:51 am to Salmon
quote:
I think they feel as if we believe their working wives are inferior or something
this is the framing issue at the heart of all of this stuff
it's actually a somewhat ironic, mysoginistic view of female gender roles by feminists
they desire equality, which is really just an ability to mimic the male gender role re: being an economic provider. they create a strawman that society only values male gender roles, and women need to engage in the very male gender roles they reject. a side product of this mypoic view is that being a SAHM is somehow inferior b/c it involves the female gender roles of the oppressive society
so basically, they reinforce the very gender roles they claim to despise
Posted on 2/18/14 at 10:53 am to SlowFlowPro
quote:
this is the framing issue at the heart of all of this stuff
it's actually a somewhat ironic, mysoginistic view of female gender roles by feminists
they desire equality, which is really just an ability to mimic the male gender role re: being an economic provider. they create a strawman that society only values male gender roles, and women need to engage in the very male gender roles they reject. a side product of this mypoic view is that being a SAHM is somehow inferior b/c it involves the female gender roles of the oppressive society
so basically, they reinforce the very gender roles they claim to despise
You just justified CoCo's argument that The Women's Movement/Liberation ruined or damaged society in this country.
Posted on 2/18/14 at 10:54 am to Prominentwon
quote:
I would prefer my wife to work. Based on income alone.
this is why my wife works
but with our schedules, we only have to have our in home nanny 6 hours/day, 4 days/week, so it's not that bad
and we both have very flexible schedules/jobs so that we can leave or take off without much notice
this make it easier for us to both work
Posted on 2/18/14 at 10:54 am to SlowFlowPro
quote:swap "gender roles" with racial, gay, etc stereotypes and you have pretty much every social "cause"
so basically, they reinforce the very gender roles they claim to despise
Posted on 2/18/14 at 10:55 am to 911Moto
Much of this debate has to do with the way people asses their own self value.
The value of a man may be defined by society as his career, but in his own mind it is often by the perceived happiness of his wife and children. To put it crudely, Men work to f&%k, or they have careers in order to support a wife and raise children in a stable environment.
The value of a woman is defined by society as EITHER her career or her family's success. Women often define themselves based on how their peers define them (status). Women primarily define other women based on careers and socioeconomic status. They often look down on women who don't work. This leads to women who don't work to feel unfulfilled because they perceive themselves to be less valued due to their lack of career. When women do work, it's generally not for the money or because they're trying to support themselves and/or a family, it's because they desire the status that comes with the job. They value moving up in their jobs not because it means more money to spend on the family, but because it means a higher perceived status or self-assessed value. To put it crudely, women f&%k to work.
Short version: men work to f&%k while women f&%k to work. Men work to support a woman from whom he defines his self-worth. Women work to attain respect from peers from whom they define their self-worth.
The value of a man may be defined by society as his career, but in his own mind it is often by the perceived happiness of his wife and children. To put it crudely, Men work to f&%k, or they have careers in order to support a wife and raise children in a stable environment.
The value of a woman is defined by society as EITHER her career or her family's success. Women often define themselves based on how their peers define them (status). Women primarily define other women based on careers and socioeconomic status. They often look down on women who don't work. This leads to women who don't work to feel unfulfilled because they perceive themselves to be less valued due to their lack of career. When women do work, it's generally not for the money or because they're trying to support themselves and/or a family, it's because they desire the status that comes with the job. They value moving up in their jobs not because it means more money to spend on the family, but because it means a higher perceived status or self-assessed value. To put it crudely, women f&%k to work.
Short version: men work to f&%k while women f&%k to work. Men work to support a woman from whom he defines his self-worth. Women work to attain respect from peers from whom they define their self-worth.
Posted on 2/18/14 at 10:55 am to SlowFlowPro
quote:
they desire equality, which is really just an ability to mimic the male gender role re: being an economic provider. they create a strawman that society only values male gender roles, and women need to engage in the very male gender roles they reject. a side product of this mypoic view is that being a SAHM is somehow inferior b/c it involves the female gender roles of the oppressive society
The contributions of women in maintaining the family were probably underappreciated until 1970s. However, the feminist movement drew the wrong conclusions from that and went the other way. However, calling myself a women or "identifying" as a women does not make me a woman, no more than a pidgeon identifying as an "eagle".
Posted on 2/18/14 at 10:57 am to Ace Midnight
quote:
The contributions of women in maintaining the family were probably underappreciated until 1970s
most likely. i wasn't around and only have biased historical stories (from both sides) to use
Posted on 2/18/14 at 10:58 am to Ace Midnight
Exactly! Men want women to be house wives not because they see them as beneath them, subservient to their desires, it's because the job of raising children is so important, that we want that job to be done by the person who is best suited to do so, their mother. Men don't want to stay at home because most of them know they would suck at it. There's a reason men die sooner than women, it's because we're dumbasses that do stupid, reckless things all the time. Do you really want that person raising your kid all day every day?
Posted on 2/18/14 at 10:58 am to 911Moto
Wife loves working. We have almost identical incomes. I love to cook, she loves to wash clothes. Got a winning formula here, going on 13 years!
Posted on 2/18/14 at 10:58 am to Salmon
Your wife works?
But why are you shitting on wives who aren't SAHM's?!?!
But why are you shitting on wives who aren't SAHM's?!?!
Posted on 2/18/14 at 10:58 am to Ace Midnight
Man, this got really deep and philosophical. Way over my head.
Posted on 2/18/14 at 10:59 am to 911Moto
Can she work from home?
Medical transcription pays a lot.
It sounds like she may have tired of your vision for life and wants to do something that is all about her.
Roll with it and be supportive. Good luck.
Medical transcription pays a lot.
It sounds like she may have tired of your vision for life and wants to do something that is all about her.
Roll with it and be supportive. Good luck.
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