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re: Does your wife "want" to work?

Posted on 2/18/14 at 10:48 am to
Posted by Salmon
On the trails
Member since Feb 2008
83653 posts
Posted on 2/18/14 at 10:48 am to
quote:

think both of you have misconstrued views of what SAHM mom's responsibilities are


I think they feel as if we believe their working wives are inferior or something

Nobody is saying that

It is just physically impossible for them to do everything unless they have a job like RBWs
Posted by Prominentwon
LSU, McNeese St. Fan
Member since Jan 2005
93785 posts
Posted on 2/18/14 at 10:49 am to
quote:

Arts and crafts, bruh. That's all.


Everything else takes care of itself.
Posted by yellowfin
Coastal Bar
Member since May 2006
97743 posts
Posted on 2/18/14 at 10:49 am to
quote:

Maybe she's a teacher and has the same schedule s the kids.

Maybe she's a teacher and can get home by 4 to get dinner ready.



Teachers on the OT claim to work a 8-10 hr day, something isn't adding up

quote:

Maybe she's not a lazy piece of shite and keeps the house clean as the week goes by. Even better, maybe her husband isn't a lazy piece of shite and helps clean the house.

You got me there, I do not clean house. I do work a lot so when I'm home I want to enjoy my time with my family.
quote:

Maybe they have grandparents around. Maybe she takes off work on those rare times that a kid is sick.

most don't have this
Posted by Cold Cous Cous
Bucktown, La.
Member since Oct 2003
15053 posts
Posted on 2/18/14 at 10:50 am to
quote:

Maybe she's not a lazy piece of shite and keeps the house clean as the week goes by. Even better, maybe her husband isn't a lazy piece of shite and helps clean the house.

Yep, the world is divided into people who work 60 hour a week corporate jobs and "lazy pieces of shite." No middle ground! And anyone who argues otherwise is a lazy piece of shite, so qed
Posted by LSU fan 246
Member since Oct 2005
90567 posts
Posted on 2/18/14 at 10:50 am to
I figured all moms would want to go out and work.

Being a stay at home mom is one of the hardest jobs in the world. Let someone else do that shite
Posted by Prominentwon
LSU, McNeese St. Fan
Member since Jan 2005
93785 posts
Posted on 2/18/14 at 10:51 am to
quote:

I think they feel as if we believe their working wives are inferior or something

Nobody is saying that

It is just physically impossible for them to do everything unless they have a job like RBWs


I would prefer my wife to work. Based on income alone. But when it comes down to it right now, it's better for the family and our sanity for her to stay home and take care of what needs to be done.

The amount of issues that pile up and the lack of time will eventually stress you out until you snap. I understand it happens, but if you have an opportunity to minimize that happening, take it.

There are only so many hours in a day.
Posted by yellowfin
Coastal Bar
Member since May 2006
97743 posts
Posted on 2/18/14 at 10:51 am to
quote:

. I was just responding to the guy who believes wholeheartedly that working moms cannot provide the same amount as a stay at home mom.


unless they can be two places at once i don't see how it's possible
Posted by Ace Midnight
Between sanity and madness
Member since Dec 2006
89646 posts
Posted on 2/18/14 at 10:51 am to
quote:

I think they feel as if we believe their working wives are inferior or something


I would be bad as either a SAHD or a working father, if I had to shoulder much of the responsiblities of home. I work 3 jobs (if you count overtime as a 3rd job) and when I'm home, I'm home, sitting on a$$.
Posted by SlowFlowPro
Simple Solutions to Complex Probs
Member since Jan 2004
424210 posts
Posted on 2/18/14 at 10:51 am to
quote:

I think they feel as if we believe their working wives are inferior or something

this is the framing issue at the heart of all of this stuff

it's actually a somewhat ironic, mysoginistic view of female gender roles by feminists

they desire equality, which is really just an ability to mimic the male gender role re: being an economic provider. they create a strawman that society only values male gender roles, and women need to engage in the very male gender roles they reject. a side product of this mypoic view is that being a SAHM is somehow inferior b/c it involves the female gender roles of the oppressive society

so basically, they reinforce the very gender roles they claim to despise
Posted by Prominentwon
LSU, McNeese St. Fan
Member since Jan 2005
93785 posts
Posted on 2/18/14 at 10:53 am to
quote:

this is the framing issue at the heart of all of this stuff

it's actually a somewhat ironic, mysoginistic view of female gender roles by feminists

they desire equality, which is really just an ability to mimic the male gender role re: being an economic provider. they create a strawman that society only values male gender roles, and women need to engage in the very male gender roles they reject. a side product of this mypoic view is that being a SAHM is somehow inferior b/c it involves the female gender roles of the oppressive society

so basically, they reinforce the very gender roles they claim to despise


You just justified CoCo's argument that The Women's Movement/Liberation ruined or damaged society in this country.
Posted by Salmon
On the trails
Member since Feb 2008
83653 posts
Posted on 2/18/14 at 10:54 am to
quote:

I would prefer my wife to work. Based on income alone.


this is why my wife works

but with our schedules, we only have to have our in home nanny 6 hours/day, 4 days/week, so it's not that bad

and we both have very flexible schedules/jobs so that we can leave or take off without much notice

this make it easier for us to both work
Posted by Buddy Garrity
Member since Mar 2013
4224 posts
Posted on 2/18/14 at 10:54 am to
quote:

so basically, they reinforce the very gender roles they claim to despise
swap "gender roles" with racial, gay, etc stereotypes and you have pretty much every social "cause"
Posted by kingbob
Sorrento, LA
Member since Nov 2010
67221 posts
Posted on 2/18/14 at 10:55 am to
Much of this debate has to do with the way people asses their own self value.

The value of a man may be defined by society as his career, but in his own mind it is often by the perceived happiness of his wife and children. To put it crudely, Men work to f&%k, or they have careers in order to support a wife and raise children in a stable environment.

The value of a woman is defined by society as EITHER her career or her family's success. Women often define themselves based on how their peers define them (status). Women primarily define other women based on careers and socioeconomic status. They often look down on women who don't work. This leads to women who don't work to feel unfulfilled because they perceive themselves to be less valued due to their lack of career. When women do work, it's generally not for the money or because they're trying to support themselves and/or a family, it's because they desire the status that comes with the job. They value moving up in their jobs not because it means more money to spend on the family, but because it means a higher perceived status or self-assessed value. To put it crudely, women f&%k to work.

Short version: men work to f&%k while women f&%k to work. Men work to support a woman from whom he defines his self-worth. Women work to attain respect from peers from whom they define their self-worth.
Posted by Ace Midnight
Between sanity and madness
Member since Dec 2006
89646 posts
Posted on 2/18/14 at 10:55 am to
quote:

they desire equality, which is really just an ability to mimic the male gender role re: being an economic provider. they create a strawman that society only values male gender roles, and women need to engage in the very male gender roles they reject. a side product of this mypoic view is that being a SAHM is somehow inferior b/c it involves the female gender roles of the oppressive society


The contributions of women in maintaining the family were probably underappreciated until 1970s. However, the feminist movement drew the wrong conclusions from that and went the other way. However, calling myself a women or "identifying" as a women does not make me a woman, no more than a pidgeon identifying as an "eagle".

Posted by SlowFlowPro
Simple Solutions to Complex Probs
Member since Jan 2004
424210 posts
Posted on 2/18/14 at 10:57 am to
quote:

The contributions of women in maintaining the family were probably underappreciated until 1970s

most likely. i wasn't around and only have biased historical stories (from both sides) to use

Posted by kingbob
Sorrento, LA
Member since Nov 2010
67221 posts
Posted on 2/18/14 at 10:58 am to
Exactly! Men want women to be house wives not because they see them as beneath them, subservient to their desires, it's because the job of raising children is so important, that we want that job to be done by the person who is best suited to do so, their mother. Men don't want to stay at home because most of them know they would suck at it. There's a reason men die sooner than women, it's because we're dumbasses that do stupid, reckless things all the time. Do you really want that person raising your kid all day every day?
Posted by ItNeverRains
37069
Member since Oct 2007
25669 posts
Posted on 2/18/14 at 10:58 am to
Wife loves working. We have almost identical incomes. I love to cook, she loves to wash clothes. Got a winning formula here, going on 13 years!
Posted by RBWilliams8
Member since Oct 2009
53418 posts
Posted on 2/18/14 at 10:58 am to
Your wife works?


But why are you shitting on wives who aren't SAHM's?!?!
Posted by Fall Creek Tiger
Spring, TX
Member since Jul 2009
1195 posts
Posted on 2/18/14 at 10:58 am to
Man, this got really deep and philosophical. Way over my head.
Posted by Hater Bait
Tuscaloosa & Gulf Shores
Member since Nov 2012
2872 posts
Posted on 2/18/14 at 10:59 am to
Can she work from home?
Medical transcription pays a lot.
It sounds like she may have tired of your vision for life and wants to do something that is all about her.
Roll with it and be supportive. Good luck.
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