re: Do you use sir and ma'am with older coworkers?

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Outside of the south (potentially only the "deep south") I would say it's actively unproductive to use them. It just isn't done and is not perceived as being respectful.

Ironically, I really only use it with very old employees, mostly women, who have no power...like a secretary or something.

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Spot on, in my opinion.

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overall it isn't in fashion elsewhere.

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What happened? I'm genuinely curious why it has fallen out of flavor across the country.

Is this sort of like holding a door open for a woman in the north? Supposedly that is a rare occurrence and can be viewed as disrespectful.

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Dropping sir and ma'am is the next evolution of that.

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I've got a few clients who ask me to call them by their first name, without the Mr./Ms., and have said I don't need to use sir/ma'am. Out of respect I follow their wishes, but I'll be damned if it isn't an uncomfortable experience for me. I try not to use their name much at all and instead of "yes" and "no", I use "correct/incorrect" or else I'll default back to sir/ma'am.

The first time the issue was brought up to me was in a mock interview in law school. The woman doing the interview afterwards said she understood and wasn't offended but (1) it wasn't common in the workplace anymore and (2) that the last thing you want to do is go into an interview/work and have a manager/partner take it the wrong way and punish you. It is much better to just go with the majority on this type of thing.

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What happened? I'm genuinely curious why it has fallen out of flavor across the country.

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I'm not sure it was ever as prevalent as depicted in movies way back in the day. I would say since at least the 70's in my experience it was considered at least odd-ish outside of the south. I can't recall a single business environment I've ever worked in where it was common practice. At my current shop, if the lowest guy on the totem pole said "yessir" to the highest guy, there would be lots of joking about it. It would just be bizarre.

I will also say another way I do find myself using it is instead of "what" or "excuse me" or "pardon me" when I haven't heard what an older person has said to me - like in a public situation I'll say, "sir?" to get him to repeat himself.

I think that underscores how it works better with strangers than with co-workers and/or "team members" as millenials insist on everything being now.

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Supposedly that is a rare occurrence and can be viewed as disrespectful.

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it is not a rare occurrence. You might run into some sjw who scoffs and posts a rant on tumblr but it's far from the norm

I use it always unless they correct me or verbal give me permission not to. It's too easy to use sir and ma'am and get the raise/promotion that the guy who thinks he is "peers" misses out on.

I'll use them occasionally with strangers ("Thank you, ma'am" when I get my change or something). That's about it. I wouldn't say it's frowned upon here but it's definitely considered a little odd. I have taught my kids to use it when we visit family in the South though. Of course, they're hit or miss with remembering because they don't normally say it.

Well my kids, 35 and 32 used it all the time and it is expected of them.